Comment from JanPerry

Good

Very romantic poem. I looked at quantum physics video on the internet a long time ago. It says particles behave differently under observation. You have used this to describe your feelings for someone dear. One way of keeping a love in your life. How does she feel about you?
Nice poem.

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 Comment Written 19-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015

Thanks, Jan. I appreciate your review! Suggestions for improvement usually accompany a 4-star assessment. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

I think that theory is a bunch of malarkey Tony, as are most theories. I just don't buy it. LOL I want proof. Nice poem. Good enjambment and rhyme. Well done. :<) Nancy

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015

Thanks, Nancy. I appreciate your review! The latest experiments conducted in Australia add an element of proof. Tony

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

Interesting poem of quantum physics - a unique topic for a love ballad. Nice humorous approach to it. Well done in the form you chose.
teresa

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015

Thanks, Teresa. I appreciate your review! Tony

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Tony;
-just like a tree in a forest if it is not heard nor seen then It has not happen, if it falls. And if one does not gaze on her love then she does not exist. You utilize this syllogistic reasoning throughout your writing. What you use in a way that gentle and transverse.
-Each of your rhyming words used is contingent to the meaning and concept of each line therefore making the rhythm somewhat smooth.
-The rhythmic cadence, timing and tempo help with the reading to be clear, fluid and easy.
-Good use of enjambment
-Lest you do not look upon your love is whether she exists or not in your heart and thus if you turn away her existence may be just a memory.
-Thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always Tony.
Alex

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

Thanks, Alex. It seems that fellow FanStorians are much better educated about these matters than I am! I have been plagued with dead cats by many reviewers. I rather prefer the philosophical conundrum of the tree in the forest! Many thanks for your review, blessings and good wishes, which are reciprocated. As always, Tony

reply by krys123 on 20-Jul-2015

You are so welcome Tony and God bless you.
Alex

Comment from bard owl

Excellent

Your melancholy Ballade conveys a picture of mutual cooperation. It is so that our attention span has much to do with the way our lives unfold. IS the light of your life really worth all your anguish. You have done an excellent job with this poem. The rhyme and rhythm seem flawless, which makes your work a pleasure to read out loud. It has a gentle flow to the very end, where once again you beseech your love to pay attention! Excellent.
Blessings, Linda

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015

Thanks, Linda. I appreciate your review! Tony

Comment from BeasPeas

Exceptional

As usual, I am "undone" by your wonderful poetic skill and content originality. You broach a thought I've often had--does something/someone cease to exist if I don't give it reality? I think there was a 70's book entitled, "Create Your Own Reality," and it may be on my bookshelf. Will have to take a look at it again.
Fantastic lines:
"Quantum physics says I shall cease to be
should you decide to shift your loving gaze
and turn your eyes elsewhere, away from me;
You have it in your power to end my days."
Isn't that the truth when we're in love?
Marilyn/BeasPeas

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

Thanks for your interesting review, Marilyn and for the six stars. Personally I think we give too many ugly things in this world enhanced reality by our attention. Unfortunately, ignoring them does not make them go away either. Sometimes, in order to maintain our sanity, we need to create our own reality, or at least find the humour in someone else's!

Comment from thee-name

Excellent

Excellent poem. I enjoyed reading your writing.

How quickly love unravels. When it frays
for lack of caring love, as it sure can,
thoughts each for other re-ignite the blaze.
Our future lies in our attention span.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015

Thanks, thee-name. I appreciate your review! Tony

reply by thee-name on 20-Jul-2015

thank you!

Comment from artemis53

Excellent

I am fascinated by the quantum physics and how you have enmeshed it with the attention span of two lovers. It might also explain why people will describe you in a unique way r/t your presentation towards them.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015

Thanks, Artemis. I appreciate your review! Tony

Comment from Pantygynt

Exceptional

You get six for making me laugh all the way through this. I always thought physycists were nutters, now I know. I am having difficulty seeing, as I am still in paroxysms. Brilliant. The old ballade form works so well with something like this. I think the repeated rhyme might become monotonous in anything too serious.

Actually both sheet and stay are nautical terms. A "sheet" is a particular rope attached to the bottom of the sail on the leeward side. The same rope changes its name to "tack" when the ship "changes tack".

"Stays" on board ship are part of the standing rigging that take the strain on the mast and run from the "chains", which aren't chains, out board of the hull to the "top", which isn't the top but actually about half way up the mast. Another set of stays run from the outer edge of this platform known as the "top", which isn't at the top, to the mast head which is! The word was borrowed by the milliners of the day because the role of these undergarments (the actual stay being whalebone) was similar to that on board ship, namely to hold rigid what might otherwise flop about uncontrollably - not a pretty sight on land or sea!

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

Splendid review, Jim, as usual and much appreciated six stars. I held this one back until Sunday, on the off-chance! Interesting background information about stays. Whether they be on a ship or around a waist, wicked sailors have an enviable reputation for loosening them.

reply by Pantygynt on 20-Jul-2015

What a splendid comment!

reply by Pantygynt on 20-Jul-2015

I've just realised I have missled you. The rigging runnin frome the chains to the tops are known as shrouds (nothing to do with corpses as far as I know) and running horizontally across them are the ratlines that sailors, both wicked and benevolent used as ladders to climb the mast. The stays run fore and aft from tops to deck, but they still perform a similar purpose to that already described. The more adventurous sailors would slde down them when returning to the deck. The is an old sea shanty, John Dameray, with a chorus that goes John Come Down the Backstay. Google that and it will take you to it.

Comment from IndianaIrish

Excellent

Tony, this is such an enjoyable and entertaining poem to read. I love the mixture of science and your humor in a love poem. It's all about the perception we perceive being ours alone. Your pronoun changes in the repeating line gave the poem a perfect adjustment to each stanza. Excellent, Tony.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015

Thanks, Karyn. I appreciate your review! Tony