Comment from Leineco

Exceptional

What a marvelous, modernization (linguistically) of the sonnet/ballad (I know this does not qualify as a sonnet. . .but it follows the exposition/expansion/counter-point/summarize format so beautifully, I cannot ignore its sonnet-esque relation :-)

And such a unique take on love! Only so long as attention is paid, does love exist at all.

Extraordinary read! :-) :-) :-)

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2015

Thanks, Leineco. The parallel with sonnet structure was not intentional, but you are right, it is there. I appreciate your comments and thank you, too, for the six stars. Tony

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

This is a very liberal interpretation of quantum physics
sounds more like romantic physics,
which is probably more fun anyway
It's all relative of course, if you take your eyes off your love
she may cease to exist for you
but in someone elses universe
she may be just beginning
There are seven billion sets of eyes
so reality is firmly in sight
but the reality is, I must continue this review
The Ballade is new to me, It did not exist until this moment
but I think it is well done and a very interesting form
Great picture of attentive water fowl
Take heed and pay attention to your spouse,
I would hate to see you disappear

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

I guess you are right - physics wasn't my strong suit at school! Most concepts barely understood or misunderstood, but plenty of time for romanticising whilst gazing out of the window! Nonetheless, I was unable to make the subject disappear by my inattention to it. Thanks for the entertaining review. Tony

Comment from Walu Feral

Excellent

G'day Tony. I have the attention span of a Gnat mate! Or at least I think I do but I wasn't concentrating when they told me that LOL. This is another great piece with it's swinging flow and rhythm. It's funny how quickly people forget what they feel when first in love, I'll never understand it. Top job my friend. Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

Thanks, Fez. I find gnats have a pretty good attention span when they think they've found a likely source of blood! I agree with you about the feelings we have for one another - how quickly love can turn to indifference of even hate. Strange and rather sad.

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

Yes, this is actually a pretty damn scary statement about quantum physics. With dwindling attention spans due to multi-tasking, bouncing from net to videos to Google glass, are we changing reality? How can one complete the other long term if our attention keeps bouncing around like popcorn kernels in a dryer. Blink. A phase. Blink. A phrase perhaps used in a poem. Observe an electron , and it is there. Look away- gone. Very thought provoking how you apply it to modern life.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

Thanks for the entertaining review, Ed. Teenagers, in particular, seem to support the theory. With highly focussed inattention they are able to make parents disappear almost entirely.

Comment from Spitfire

Exceptional

Quantum physics is right. Reality is illusion and exists only when we see, hear, feel, touch or smell it. Rather unsettling to thing our existence relies on other people.
Favorite line:I glance away and you become a phrase
deleted from my life. A concrete way of describing an abstact concept. Well done, Tony.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

Thanks for this profound review and for the six stars, without which my poem would have started to fade round the edges, rather like the Cheshire Cat. I always liked the fact that its grin was the last thing to go! Best wishes,
Tony

Comment from ameen786

Excellent

My friend, this is a brilliant composition with depth and thought provoking theme.....world's indeed an illusion, reality is hereafter. Excellent rhyming and superb enjambment application through out the verse; a true delightful treat, thank you.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

Thank you, Ameen. I appreciate your review and compliments. Best wishes, Tony.

Comment from Clover77

Excellent

Wonderful job with this poem dear fellow writer. You wrote this wonderfully well and it was beautiful. Well done!
~Julia

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

Thanks so much for stopping by to review, Julia. Much appreciated. Tony

Comment from harmony13

Excellent

Excellent Poem! The author's words are strong, creative and extremely thought provoking. The reader pondered on the words of this poem. Thank you for the author's notes. The artwork and background color compliment this poem.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

Thanks for your kind review, Harmony. Appreciated. Tony

Comment from Meera19

Excellent

I love this poem! Its great and original, maybe you should one day publish some of your work! Keep on writing the great stuff!

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

Thanks for your kind comments, Meera. I have so far published two books of poetry, which have now been combined to include a Kindle edition, available through Amazon. A third volume is currently with the publishers and due for release early in 2016.
Product Details
The Ethiopian Afar
by Antony Fawcus
Kindle Edition
$6.00
Available for Pre-order. This item will be released on July 25, 2015.
Paperback
$16.50

reply by Meera19 on 20-Jul-2015

Wow! I'll be sure to look for it on Amazon!

Comment from Jacob Collins

Excellent

I thought this was an excellent piece of writing. I liked how you presented it and I thought that your writing flowed well, I couldn't find anything to critique. I've never really been interested in quantum physics but I did enjoy your writing. Thanks for sharing...Jacob

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

Thanks, Jacob. Glad you enjoyed it. Tony