Reviews from

Faerie Lights

Pantoum Sonnet

33 total reviews 
Comment from JanPerry
Excellent
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Nicely blended together with the lights. I have never don't a sonnet here, but
appreciate all the hard work to get one right. Charming, or beguiling lights.
The repeat at the end is useful, to reiterate the description.
Im not sure what the trap is. Or why they trap us.
Lovely poem.

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2015
    Thank you for the kind comments about the writing. The subject is based on the ancient fairy tales where faeries play tricks on humans merely for their own amusement. The trap can be anything they want. Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream" has such faeries playing tricks.
Comment from Benny Beeharry
Excellent
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Some people put in other war, there is a serpent under the flower. Bot the lights and the flowers are attractive. We are human and we are attracted by glitters...all the traps of the senses.. The wring and the impressive repetitions are easy to read and understand, as the one message flows down to the next.
Take care.
Benny Beeharry

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
    Yew, we do like our glitter don't we? Hank you for the kind comments about the writing. Debi
Comment from gypsymoth
Excellent
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Excellent work of incorporating the forms used. Children in the U.S.
are not well acquainted with the types of sprites and brownies.
I guess that's because the tales were not carried on through the last few generations. Pity, I think it gave them something to imagine, good or impish.
Gypsymoth

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2015
    Hi Gypsymoth,
    I do like the old fairy tales, but I think you are right they don't seem to be told any more. It is a pity. So often they could scare and delight, all while giving a good lesson on life.
    Thank you for the great review and your insights. Debi
Comment from kiwijenny
Excellent
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I love your fantasy poems. I love the faerie lights ..we have glow worm caves in New Zealand they glow blue green ..it reminded me of fairies
Well penned .i need several so I can do a Rip Van Winkle....jet lag sigh
Faerie lights take me awaaaaay its 2:41 and I can't sleep
God bless

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 21-Jul-2015
    Thank you for the great review. I appreciate the encouragement. It's been a while since I wrote about fairies and they just wouldn't go away until I did. I hope you got caught up on some sleep, but don't overdo like old Rip did.
Comment from krys123
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Debi;
-What a wonderful way to share such a beautiful poem that is written in a Pantoum format. The beauty of your imagery that suggests fairy lights as such an awesome piece of writing. And the picture that you used, to suggest the relativity and to complement your poem is excellent.
-The imagery is sound, distinct and clear. And exquisitely expressive and vividly and demonstratively descriptive throughout.
-Give your rhyming words are contingent to the meaning and concept of each line therefore making your rhythm to flow smoothly. Being that your rhyming was neither forced nor labored was also very helpful in making your rhythm flow Smoothly.
-Your rhythmic meter being iambic pentameter was very helpful along with your cadence, timing and tempo to make your reading clear, fluid and easy.
-Very good use of Enjambment which is the running on of a thought and concepts one's hands and mind to the next without a syntactical break.
-The way you handle this type of poetry in this format seems so simple to read but I find it also to be very difficult to write and you did an excellent Job in converting this type of poetry to make you read and sound so easy.
-Thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you forever.
Alex

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
    Thank you for the very kind comments, Alex. It is a great compliment to hear that the the verse appears simple and is easy to understand. My Father often says that a true professional makes what they are doing look easy especially when it isn't. I think I will be smiling all night.
    Debi
reply by krys123 on 21-Jul-2015
    I enjoyed your writing and you are so welcome.
    Alex
Comment from A TARNISHED KNIGHT
Excellent
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Now this is my kind of poem..I have gotten away from my Fairy Tales and Pixie Dust and Unicorns named Dream for too long..You have let Dream out of his corral He shall be riding a trail of pixie dust again very soon .. To be honest I do not know the first damn thing about a Pantoum Sonnet If that is what this is You did a great job in doing it !!!
tk

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
    Thank you for the very gracious comments, TK. I find them encouraging and the leave me smiling.

    I look forward to reading more about Dream.
Comment from Delahay
Excellent
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Never follow the Will 'O The Wisp. It will lead you astray every time. If one ends up in their Faery land they may never be seen again.

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 21-Jul-2015
    Ooo, thank you for the warning. I have heard that the Will 'O The Wisp is not to be trusted and that people disappear. Sounds like you got my meaning. Thank you.
Comment from Eigle Rull
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This poem is very well written and tells twinkling lights and wicked sprites. It was interesting and I enjoyed reading it because of the way it was put together. It held my attention. Very nicely done, my friend.

Always with respect,

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 21-Jul-2015
    Thank you for the encouraging comments. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Excellent
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Hi, Debi...

_ This is a super Sonnet.
_ You should have entered it in the contest.
_ Love the artwork and formatting--make it almost magical and fairy like!
_ Great job.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 21-Jul-2015
    Thank you for the great review, Jax. Since it is not an English Sonnet I am not sure it qualified for the contest, but I appreciate the thought. Debi
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
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I must say I admire you for accepting the challenge of an added difficulty over the already stringent requirements of the sonnet.

The meter was fine, though I had a tad problem with the rhyming of "adore" and "sure". I find myself pronouncing "sure" "shore", which gives it an unwanted "hickish" quality.

Other than that, your poem was quite enjoyable.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
    Thank you for the helpful and encouraging comments. I am glad you found it enjoyable.

    LOL Maybe I should drop "sure" from my vocabulary. It is so easy for it to sound "valley girl" or "hick".