Cycle
Ask a Question Contest60 total reviews
Comment from Loren (7)
Wow! Very powerful. I could feel the pulse of the words jumping off the page. Passionate outrage are the two words that come to mind here and they would be justified. Good luck in the contest regardless if you got the contest rules right or not :) Loren
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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Wow! Very powerful. I could feel the pulse of the words jumping off the page. Passionate outrage are the two words that come to mind here and they would be justified. Good luck in the contest regardless if you got the contest rules right or not :) Loren
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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Loren, thanks for the great review.
Steve
Comment from TAB_that's me
I don't see anything wrong with the form you used for this entry. Would does go on in their minds to create these monsters. Very powerfully written. Good luck in the contest.
teresa
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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I don't see anything wrong with the form you used for this entry. Would does go on in their minds to create these monsters. Very powerfully written. Good luck in the contest.
teresa
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Teresa!
Steve
Comment from strandregs
Hot subject you evolved beautifully to the last line.
it shows youknow the subject pretty well.
when I read ithoghtthis sounds like a classic.
I should check it for plegiarism.:-)).
Best of luck.Z.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Hot subject you evolved beautifully to the last line.
it shows youknow the subject pretty well.
when I read ithoghtthis sounds like a classic.
I should check it for plegiarism.:-)).
Best of luck.Z.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Zelick. Maybe it will be a classic one day!
No personal knowledge of this topic, thank goodness!
Steve
Comment from royowen
The first impression I received from these questions and have no answers or understanding of them. Good strong question that Mark and mar our society, of course I have no answer, only puzzlement! Well done Steve, a great entry in this contest, the wording is eloquent and strong, the descriptive narrative screams Why? The whole work flows with a progressive and yet returning theme, it remains in the topic, nice abab rhyming, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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The first impression I received from these questions and have no answers or understanding of them. Good strong question that Mark and mar our society, of course I have no answer, only puzzlement! Well done Steve, a great entry in this contest, the wording is eloquent and strong, the descriptive narrative screams Why? The whole work flows with a progressive and yet returning theme, it remains in the topic, nice abab rhyming, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Roy, thanks for the thoughtful review. If only we DID have some answers as to how one human can do this to another...
Steve
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Most welcome
Comment from jgirlie152
I cannot say I enjoyed the content in your well-written poem, but it is well told, and you showed how this sort of tortuous action will continue on in the later generations. Those who hurt and maim and show no regard for their fellows derserve prison or worse. It is hard to understand how human beings can sometimes treat each other.
Joan
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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I cannot say I enjoyed the content in your well-written poem, but it is well told, and you showed how this sort of tortuous action will continue on in the later generations. Those who hurt and maim and show no regard for their fellows derserve prison or worse. It is hard to understand how human beings can sometimes treat each other.
Joan
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Joan. You are right - it is not a pleasant topic and yet one I feel needs to be addressed.
Steve
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Yes, Steve, someone has to be made aware there are terrible persons out there and they should take care with who they deal with. Joan
Comment from Leineco
First - I love the perfection of blank verse construction :-) The cadence it generates makes reading the poem smooth sailing. . .with a definite sense flowing movement.
Second - through dark imagery (horror breeds, darkness feeds, evil seeds, bitter weeds) , you have established the brooding mood of a rain cloud darkened day, causing the reader to read slowly through, contemplating each phrase. . . and the relentlessness of it.
Lastly, while the topic is grim, it is a compelling read - well worth my time and attention :-)
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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First - I love the perfection of blank verse construction :-) The cadence it generates makes reading the poem smooth sailing. . .with a definite sense flowing movement.
Second - through dark imagery (horror breeds, darkness feeds, evil seeds, bitter weeds) , you have established the brooding mood of a rain cloud darkened day, causing the reader to read slowly through, contemplating each phrase. . . and the relentlessness of it.
Lastly, while the topic is grim, it is a compelling read - well worth my time and attention :-)
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Hi, haven't seen you around for a while - but now I see I did review a piece by you yesterday - perhaps it's me who hasn't been around as much!
Thanks for the great review and the six stars - much appreciated. I think you are the only reviewer so far to spot the pattern of those initial words in each stanza...
Yes, this is a bit grim - not easy reading or writing, but something that needs to be addressed.
Steve
Comment from Adri7enne
big sigh! Heavy, ponderous questions, indeed. Is violence justified when one grows up with it? What's the answer to human brutality? These are not questions that set easily on a sensitive heart, Steve. They're legitimate questions, but they trouble the soul. You're right. There's a disturbing level of violence in the piece. I wish you well in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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big sigh! Heavy, ponderous questions, indeed. Is violence justified when one grows up with it? What's the answer to human brutality? These are not questions that set easily on a sensitive heart, Steve. They're legitimate questions, but they trouble the soul. You're right. There's a disturbing level of violence in the piece. I wish you well in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thank you. I know this is not pleasant reading, but a couple of recent cases have prompted me to address this topic. There are no real answers to these questions, of course, but better strategies can be put in place to help the victims and other family members as well as the perpetrators who are often victims in their own right.
Steve
Comment from ravenblack
Your closing line is a killer. " frightened screams delight the tortured monster in his head" both psychologically accurate on a primal level and something out of a horror movie. I was beaten as a child and vowed to myself not to pass on that monster. And I have not and never will raise a hand to my kids. I think we might just have a winner!
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Your closing line is a killer. " frightened screams delight the tortured monster in his head" both psychologically accurate on a primal level and something out of a horror movie. I was beaten as a child and vowed to myself not to pass on that monster. And I have not and never will raise a hand to my kids. I think we might just have a winner!
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks for the thoughtful review and the six stars. I despair of ever winning another of these contests...
You are right, many victims of abuse make that determination to break the cycle, yet others internalise the violence as part of 'normality.'
Steve
Comment from Louise Michelle
Whenever I read about child abuse, I get very angry and depressed. I think you did a good job capturing the horror in your piece. Good luck in the contest. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Whenever I read about child abuse, I get very angry and depressed. I think you did a good job capturing the horror in your piece. Good luck in the contest. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Lou. Not a pretty topic and there seems to be a lot of posts about it recently...
Steve
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Skillful enjambment makes the rhyme scheme almost incidental in drawing the reader along in this indictment of the most savage kind of child abuse. Excellent, Steve. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Skillful enjambment makes the rhyme scheme almost incidental in drawing the reader along in this indictment of the most savage kind of child abuse. Excellent, Steve. :) Nancy
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Nancy. Not a pretty topic, but one I was drawn into commenting on.
Steve
