Cycle
Ask a Question Contest60 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
That 's a dangerous assumption here! Contest aside this is/these are questions I never stop asking myself when I read or hear of parental child abuse.
This poem has a wonderful 'feel' to it that kept reminding me of Blake's tiger - "What immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry?
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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That 's a dangerous assumption here! Contest aside this is/these are questions I never stop asking myself when I read or hear of parental child abuse.
This poem has a wonderful 'feel' to it that kept reminding me of Blake's tiger - "What immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry?
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Gynt. Don't think I've ever been compared to Blake before. I have just been reminded that many victims of abuse determine never to inflict that on their own kids - the cycle is broken. So why is it the direct opposite in other cases?
Steve
Comment from Debbie Noland
For this poem you have voiced questions that we all ask time and time again, our hands in the air in disbelief and our hearts breaking. What horror, indeed?
I like the way you begin with the abstraction of horror, lessen the abstraction with "darkness," and then move to the concrete imagery of "evil seeds" and "bitter weeds." Both are apt metaphors here.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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For this poem you have voiced questions that we all ask time and time again, our hands in the air in disbelief and our hearts breaking. What horror, indeed?
I like the way you begin with the abstraction of horror, lessen the abstraction with "darkness," and then move to the concrete imagery of "evil seeds" and "bitter weeds." Both are apt metaphors here.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Debbie. Not an easy topic to write about or read, but I was prompted to comment on this by a couple of recent cases here.
Steve
Comment from mfowler
I just read two personal accounts of childhood abuse in poetry on FS. One made me almost physically sick at the thought of such behaviour. Your poem picks up the theme and with the use of incredibly poignant questions bores into the heart of the despair and inhuman behaviour that is at the core of child abuse. I know that as, parent and teacher, these issues must disgust and frighten you as much as they do me.
What bitter weeds can strangle childhood dreams
and spread such foul perversion in their stead?.. This just about sums it up for me. Humans just have to better.
I'm sorry, Steve, the theme overwhelms my senses and diverts from the quality of your fine poem. I hope you do well.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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I just read two personal accounts of childhood abuse in poetry on FS. One made me almost physically sick at the thought of such behaviour. Your poem picks up the theme and with the use of incredibly poignant questions bores into the heart of the despair and inhuman behaviour that is at the core of child abuse. I know that as, parent and teacher, these issues must disgust and frighten you as much as they do me.
What bitter weeds can strangle childhood dreams
and spread such foul perversion in their stead?.. This just about sums it up for me. Humans just have to better.
I'm sorry, Steve, the theme overwhelms my senses and diverts from the quality of your fine poem. I hope you do well.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Mark. There does seem to be an increasing number of such accounts here - I hope it has the double effect of releasing some of the anger and hurt for the poet/victim and raising awareness of how common this abuse may be.
For me it is not personal, but a couple of high-profile cases here recently have drawn me to comment. Not a pretty topic.
Steve
Comment from Chris Petersen
Hi there Steve,
This is an awesome write penned excellently in iambic pentameter.
It is a difficult cycle to break as children learn what they live. Only occasionally do they learn from what they live and choose to end the cycle.
Very strong message you convey. Well summed-up in your closing lines.
Great write, Chris.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Hi there Steve,
This is an awesome write penned excellently in iambic pentameter.
It is a difficult cycle to break as children learn what they live. Only occasionally do they learn from what they live and choose to end the cycle.
Very strong message you convey. Well summed-up in your closing lines.
Great write, Chris.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Chris.
Yes, I have been reminded that sometimes the impetus is in the other direction with victims making a determined effort to break the cycle.
Steve
Comment from artemis53
What a strong poem, Steve. The questions in black and white and gutsy taking skeletons from closets and turning them into dust through the truth. Pretty amazing.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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What a strong poem, Steve. The questions in black and white and gutsy taking skeletons from closets and turning them into dust through the truth. Pretty amazing.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thank you. Not a pretty topic, I know, but I felt drawn into commenting on this.
Steve
Comment from CR Delport
It is actually quite scary what horrors humans can do to each other, and it seems like it is getting worse. One would think as we evolve things will get better. This is very well done. Good luck.
Take care.
Christelle.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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It is actually quite scary what horrors humans can do to each other, and it seems like it is getting worse. One would think as we evolve things will get better. This is very well done. Good luck.
Take care.
Christelle.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Christelle - I agree.
Steve
Comment from JanPerry
A very interesting commentary on what happened either to you or someone else. Im not sure if its you. It could be. I am not sure what Cycle means in this instance.
Extremely good rhyming and syntax. Very good use of vocabulary, good adjectives all the way through.
Your spelling also is spot on!!
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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A very interesting commentary on what happened either to you or someone else. Im not sure if its you. It could be. I am not sure what Cycle means in this instance.
Extremely good rhyming and syntax. Very good use of vocabulary, good adjectives all the way through.
Your spelling also is spot on!!
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Jan.
In this case the cycle runs through the generations - father beats son who grows to beat his on children - it is scary because it suggests that the violence is never-ending.
No, fortunately this is not something that has happened to me, but there have been a couple of cases in the news recently which prompted me to write this.
Steve
Comment from Jackarrie
this is a very well written poem, about abuse of young children. The evil that some people have is so very difficult for me to get my head around it. It is part of the human race we all share our earth with and would love to be rid of their heinous ways.
the words of you poem are strong and bring out the depth of your intentions so successfully.
I wish you the very best of luck in the contest. Mary
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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this is a very well written poem, about abuse of young children. The evil that some people have is so very difficult for me to get my head around it. It is part of the human race we all share our earth with and would love to be rid of their heinous ways.
the words of you poem are strong and bring out the depth of your intentions so successfully.
I wish you the very best of luck in the contest. Mary
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Mary - the ongoing nature of this kind of abuse is a worrying problem.
Steve
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Abuse has been a topic many of us have written about lately and this reflects z common theme of why? This is an issues that needs attention and I'm glad to see so many quality poems. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Abuse has been a topic many of us have written about lately and this reflects z common theme of why? This is an issues that needs attention and I'm glad to see so many quality poems. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 15-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Debbie - the ongoing nature of this kind of abuse is a worrying problem.
Steve
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It sure is. I appreciate when other authors bring the subject to light. Awareness is the first step to combating abuse. Thank you, my friend~Debbie
Comment from w.j.debi
You ask some great questions to which I fear there are no good answers. That a child should ever be treated this way is terrible, and yet we know it does happen. My heart goes out to the weak and defenseless that have no hope or choice to get out of a sitarist ion like this. A difficult theme that you have handled well.
Once I read it again and got past the expert storytelling: The writing is solid. Your meter flows well and the abab rhymes are well chosen. They blend in and support your story. Your expert use of enjambment keeps the story flowing.
Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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You ask some great questions to which I fear there are no good answers. That a child should ever be treated this way is terrible, and yet we know it does happen. My heart goes out to the weak and defenseless that have no hope or choice to get out of a sitarist ion like this. A difficult theme that you have handled well.
Once I read it again and got past the expert storytelling: The writing is solid. Your meter flows well and the abab rhymes are well chosen. They blend in and support your story. Your expert use of enjambment keeps the story flowing.
Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks for the kind words. The ongoing nature of this kind of abuse is a worrying problem.
Steve
