Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

I think it is lovely to know where your final resting place is, it makes it far more a part of your life rather than than your death. Do you know what I mean, Tom? It's difficult to put it into words. The word, death, is so final, yet it isn't, it is just a place to lay an old friend that kept you warm while on Earth. Now you can go home. I love your poem and the photo. :) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015

Thank you Sandra. Yes, i do. My mother bought those 5 family plots when my 2 year old brother died. So I've known my spot my whole life. Sometime i go and lie in my spot and imagine being planted there. Weird huh?

Comment from rod007

Excellent

Well said and the words below caught my attention as it is so true:
"of impermanent life lived,"
and the "solid signpost" where we'll find their souls gathered--heroic men and women who died for democracy and liberty. Well done, Tom.

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015

Thank you rod.

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

I too have seen Tony Fawcus' triversen. You have been very quick to react with this, and what a fine reaction too an excellent version of the form. I can see where you are coming from when you say that you consider it to be a "structured subcategory of freeverse." When you first read these things you think immediately free verse set out in tercets. But is not your definition an oxymoron? Is it possible to have a "structured subcategory" of anything that is considered free? I suppose this to more a philosophical discussion than a literary one. On this site I have seen free verse described as "free form" if it has rhyme dotted around within it but that doesn't fit this as the form is highly structured. How about a structured subcategory of non rhyming verse of which blank verse would be another sub category.

Whatever you decide to call I think you have done an excellent job of work here. Well done.

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015

Thank you Pantygynt. Although it is structured in a sense, there is still quite a bit of freedom within the 3 lines when it comes to the number of stresses to include. After all, one to four is quite a range. So, i still tend toward the free verse genre. Btw, most consider free verse with rhyme sprinkled in to be called "free style".

Comment from flamingstar

Excellent

Oh! I'll give you 5 stars because I'm confident you nailed the form. You reference the same William Carlos Williams who wrote about the white chickens, yes? I got into a fight with someone in high school over whether that poem was worth the paper it was printed on!! While I have much reverence for the subject, I'm not sure I appreciate its delivery. To me, each stanza sounds like a mini Wikipedia entry.

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015

I agree with you that this format is not a poetic as other formats. To me the challenge was to look at it from six different ways using only imagery to paint the thoughts. But i take your point.

Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

Hello Treischel

Like your thought of a grave stone when you said
it marks the spot of where your lost loved ones

Thank you for introducing me to the--The Triversen format

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015

Thank you Gert. You are welcome.

reply by Gert sherwood on 07-Jun-2015

smiles
Gert

Comment from JourneyHolm

Excellent

Cool format and great job writing a natural sounding poem (with deep, profound meaning) while meeting the requirements of the style. I truly enjoyed this peace (piece). Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015

Thank Journey. I appreciate you comments. Peace!