Reviews from

That Step

Sonnet - Faith Contest Entry

74 total reviews 
Comment from Jackarrie
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a beautiful poem with great truth and sound philosophy.
I would like if the poem stayed in the same line, but I have that problem with the new site. I find it frustrating.
I rate this poem as a six.
Well written
Mary

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
    Thanks, Mary, for the kind words and the six shiny stars.

    Can't help with the formatting issues - I use the new FanStory and everything appears fine this end (on a laptop). I'm not sure why lines would be altered for you - are you viewing on a tablet or phone, perhaps?

    Steve
reply by Jackarrie on 07-Jun-2015
    YOu are the second person who said it was fine. I have the same laptop for 2 years, but I am only recently experiencing this problem of not getting my work on lines unless I use a smaller font then it is difficult to read. I am puzzled.
Comment from I am Cat
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well done, Steve!
Seriously perfect iambic pentameter!
This hummed along perfectly
The volta on the 9th line... perfect
and the couplet at the end was strong.
Well done, great rhyme and good luck in the contest!
Cat

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
    Thanks for the great review.

    Steve
Comment from visionary1234
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh my goodness, I had ONE sixer left Steve - glad I saved it for you. I loathe 'faith' poetry - all except yours of course, can you tell. This is an impeccable sonnet and much easier to related to 'love' and leave it open, rather than beating one's chest ... if you know what I mean. Bravo! :)S

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
    Thanks, Sharyn! No chest-beating going on here. I am quite happy for other people to have strong religious views and quite content that I have none. As far as I am concerned, any religion worth its salt (biblical metaphor?) should practise tolerance, so it's no concern of theirs what anybody else believes...

    Steve
reply by visionary1234 on 07-Jun-2015
    Oh bravo - a man after my own heart Steve!
Comment from angel123
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your poem has the three elements of poetic expression: Thought, creativity and expression. I enjoyed reading it and you express yourself like a well polished author. Your poem held my attention and it flows and rhymes well. Your message is clear and your artwork choice is excellent for your poem.

Angel123

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
    Thanks for the kind words.

    Steve
Comment from Spitfire
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am reading Conversations with God, Book 2, right now, and it deals with this same thing. Fear is what hold us back. We've made it our reality instead of being one with the divine. Tightrope walking is a great metaphor.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
    Thank you!

    Steve
Comment from amahra
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A step of faith. This is so cleverly written and the title is also very clever. I loved the art work and the words of the poem not only rhymes well, but are so meaningful. Great job.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
    Thank you Amahra.

    Steve
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wonderfully written and a great entry.
I love the phrases you added to keep it moving.
"dark abyss, lifetime wide, serpents dance below, flocking, mocking, screeching gulls of doubt, "
Wow what a piece

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
    Thanks for the enthusiastic review and the six shiny stars - much appreciated.

    Steve
Comment from CMac2
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A lovely sweeping poem that can mean a first step in many things in life. All great things come from taking that first step and sometimes it does indeed take great courage. An enjoyable read indeed

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
    Thanks for the warm review.

    Steve
Comment from Charlene0513
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

To kiwisteven,
It takes a strong and courageous person to step out beyond the boundaries that they are comfortable with to meet up with the attributes that are so seldom recognized until it is almost too late.
slender thread of faith-metaphor
consonance-abyss, assail, gulls
assonance-screeching, seems, too
Charlene0513

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
    Thank you for the generous review.

    Steve
Comment from ameen786
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Simply superb! And I dare say the winner! My friend, I admire your wonderful talent that's reflected in this awesome sonnet and I am glad you didn't call it "The Bridegroom Waits,"-Outstanding job in describing faith, thank you.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
    Thank you for the great review and very generous rating - I am glad you enjoyed my sonnet.

    Steve