Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

I'll worry less about poetic interpretations than about meter and rhymes and the logical syntax-most good poems have several interpretations. This seems very
proper for the prompt.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015

Thanks for reviewing.

Steve

Comment from Sis Cat

Excellent

Great and effective use of metaphors and imagery for faith: a tightrope walker assailed by gulls of doubt from above and serpents below. Your rhymes and lines flowed so smoothly that I did not recognize the sonnet structure. Your perilous story riveted me and is an apt description of faith. Thank you for sharing. I wish you success in the contest.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015

Thanks for the thoughtful review.

Steve

Comment from Warren Rodgers

Exceptional

Hey Steve, how are ya

Terrific poem for the contest, in your usual perfect meter and rhyme. I especially enjoyed your original phrasing like "a lifetime wide" and "screeching gulls of doubt" stood out for me.
Excellent volta and closing couplet. I think it's always good to keep the interpretation a little sketchy though bridegroom is a good choice. Good luck in the contest, I think you have a great chance.
All the best,
Rodger

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015

Hi, Rodger. Thanks for the great review and the six stars.

I have used doubtgulls once before - it seems an apt metaphor, although I don't know hy I regard the poor birds so negatively...

Steve

Comment from petalangela

Excellent

This poem is a reflection of the true walk in faith sometimes it is on a thin line of faith but the faith is strong then even a thin line is enough. It's a great tribute to your faith
Thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015

Thanks for the generous review.

Steve

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

That would be a great title Steve. I really like this poem. It does help so much if a person has faith that God is there to help when they need it. Well done and good luck. Nancy

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015

Thanks, Nancy - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from sgalletti

Excellent

Hi Stevie! This is a beautifully crafted sonnet and an excellent entry in the Faith Contest. Your meter throughout is impeccable, your abab rhymes in your quatrains work well, your consonance is excellent, your message wonderful, with a nice turn in the third quatrain. I love the use of the "olde" language in this piece. Good luck in the contest. Sue

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015

Sue, thanks for the thoughtful reading and review.

Yes, I wanted just a touch of 'ye olde' English here...

Steve

Comment from Cass Carlton

Excellent

This has to be one of the most perfectly constructed pieces of verse I have ever encountered. There is not a thing out of place; the rhythm is perfect, the rhyme is perfect, the subject dealt with in a clear, confident way. This piece has many levels of meaning which puts it way above the average writing. It can be taken at face value or it can be used as a metaphor. Call it what you will, whatever you decide, it will be perfect Cheers Cass

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015

Cass, thanks so much for the very positive review - I must be getting the hang of this sonnet thing!

Steve

Comment from nancyjam

Excellent

Beautifully crafted Sonnet, Steve, with a lovely
message delivered with amazing imagery.
Nice turn in the third stanza and that lovely
tribute to Faith in love - in the final couplet.
I wish you the best in the contest.
Nancy

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015

Thanks, Nancy - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from Adri7enne

Exceptional

Ah, nice, Steve. You're the only poet, except for Brooke, who rhymes so flawlessly and follows a rhythm without hesitation. I loved it. And the theme is well developed. Faith in love requires courage, patence, trust and hope. I totally agree. Good luck in the contest, Steve.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015

Thanks for the generous remarks and the generous gift of stars. let's hope the committee like it as much!

Steve

Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Excellent

Well done, Steve. I'm glad I took this moment to read your sonnet. Your scope of subject surpasses all the angles of poetry. Just love the 'screeching gulls assail my ears' line. Giddy

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015

Thanks, Giddy - put my serious hat on for once!

Steve