Get Well, Brooke!
Viewing comments for Chapter -2 "A Dew and A Pearl"Writing for Brooke
90 total reviews
Comment from CR Delport
A very well done poem for a very special person. We all miss Brooke and wish her a speedy recovery. This is a fitting tribute.
Take care.
Christelle.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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A very well done poem for a very special person. We all miss Brooke and wish her a speedy recovery. This is a fitting tribute.
Take care.
Christelle.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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Thank you very much .
Comment from Eternal Muse
This is an amazing poem. You pay a great tribute to one of our most talented and versatile members. Yes, her poetry is terrific, and I enjoyed her rhyme and meter which is my style too. I also love her incredible optimism which she brings out in her poems - they exude and celebrate life.
Yes, that image of spinning sunshine to make shwals for the trees is amazing - I don't believe I read that poem. We both love dandelions, she also loved ladybugs. May God speed her recovery! We are all praying for her.
The reason for the reduced rating is lack of punctuation. It is a six star poem on its own merit, but punctuation mars it.
Rather than going line by line, these are my suggestions:
She sketches the world around her
with the clarity of dawn's dew -
birds, beetles and weeds that wither
find themselves drawn in golden hue.
Daffodils basking in warbler's notes,
April roses and autumn leaves,
puddles just right for paper boats,
icicles leaning from the eaves.
She spies falling stars through the trees,
dreams of spinning sunshine to shawls;
snowflakes drifting down with breeze,
dandelion in the wilderness sprawls.
Brooke, you still have to unravel
more mysteries of this universe,
take us with you as you travel
to gather pearls for your every verse.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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This is an amazing poem. You pay a great tribute to one of our most talented and versatile members. Yes, her poetry is terrific, and I enjoyed her rhyme and meter which is my style too. I also love her incredible optimism which she brings out in her poems - they exude and celebrate life.
Yes, that image of spinning sunshine to make shwals for the trees is amazing - I don't believe I read that poem. We both love dandelions, she also loved ladybugs. May God speed her recovery! We are all praying for her.
The reason for the reduced rating is lack of punctuation. It is a six star poem on its own merit, but punctuation mars it.
Rather than going line by line, these are my suggestions:
She sketches the world around her
with the clarity of dawn's dew -
birds, beetles and weeds that wither
find themselves drawn in golden hue.
Daffodils basking in warbler's notes,
April roses and autumn leaves,
puddles just right for paper boats,
icicles leaning from the eaves.
She spies falling stars through the trees,
dreams of spinning sunshine to shawls;
snowflakes drifting down with breeze,
dandelion in the wilderness sprawls.
Brooke, you still have to unravel
more mysteries of this universe,
take us with you as you travel
to gather pearls for your every verse.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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Thank you very much for punctuating my poem .Actually it was intentional ,not that I believe in it ,but i thought this was the 'in' thing and i was rather old fashioned to worry about punctuation.Actully I had readers writing that punctuation 'distracts' and i have noticed that many people do not put these marks. some of them write 'lack of punctuation intentional'!
Anyway i have a different opinion on two points .After the second line of stanza one and the last stanza shouldn't it be full stop?
Comment from livelylinda
Sanku: a lovely poem to wish Brooke well. She is the only person who can convince me that dandelions are anything other than a weed which must be destroyed. We all miss her presence in FanStory world. livelylinda
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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Sanku: a lovely poem to wish Brooke well. She is the only person who can convince me that dandelions are anything other than a weed which must be destroyed. We all miss her presence in FanStory world. livelylinda
Comment Written 04-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Sanu. My..but I haven't heard from you in a long long time. this is a wonderful poem and I am sure Brooke will love it:
"She spies falling stars through the trees
dreams of spinning sunshine to shawls
snowflakes drifting down with breeze
dandelion in the wilderness sprawls."
Wonderful..Bob
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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Hi, Sanu. My..but I haven't heard from you in a long long time. this is a wonderful poem and I am sure Brooke will love it:
"She spies falling stars through the trees
dreams of spinning sunshine to shawls
snowflakes drifting down with breeze
dandelion in the wilderness sprawls."
Wonderful..Bob
Comment Written 03-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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Hi, how are you? Hope your health is fine now .I have been absent or coming very erratically here (because of my illness, my husband's surgery etc etc and also because of a very welcome addition to our family ,my granddaughter, my first grandchild ) I had noticed that you have started a new novel but it was already 10 th chapter or so.)
Thank you very much for the review. I am her ardent fan and her poems have often removed my depression.So I struggled a bit and wrote this rhyming lines for her.
Comment from Selina Stambi
My dear Santha,
So lovely to read something from your pen. It seems like ages.
Got your text. Glad you are feeling better.
This poem ... my, how your poetic style has improved and blossomed since I first reviewed you.
Great rhyme and metre. Lovely word pictures.
Proud of you, my friend.
Big hugs,
Sonali
p.s. Will send pics when I have a moment. :)
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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My dear Santha,
So lovely to read something from your pen. It seems like ages.
Got your text. Glad you are feeling better.
This poem ... my, how your poetic style has improved and blossomed since I first reviewed you.
Great rhyme and metre. Lovely word pictures.
Proud of you, my friend.
Big hugs,
Sonali
p.s. Will send pics when I have a moment. :)
Comment Written 03-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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Thank you very much Sonali.Iam e very thrilled that it has come out well .
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, sanku, you did an excellent job writing this beautiful verse in the vein of writing that Brooke produces. I enjoyed reading this one. I wrote one called Ten Little Fairies since she loved to write her counting poems.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2015
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this is an excellent write, sanku, you did an excellent job writing this beautiful verse in the vein of writing that Brooke produces. I enjoyed reading this one. I wrote one called Ten Little Fairies since she loved to write her counting poems.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2015
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Thank you vey much for this honour. This means so much to me .I will check out your poem.
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a fitting ode to her poetry. I also read all I could of her poetry. I like how you wound in images from her poetry to show how much you like her poetry and how much she loves the her family and the world around her.
The title and the illustration are a good tribute to her too.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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This is a fitting ode to her poetry. I also read all I could of her poetry. I like how you wound in images from her poetry to show how much you like her poetry and how much she loves the her family and the world around her.
The title and the illustration are a good tribute to her too.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 03-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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Thank you very much for your lovely encouraging words.
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You're very welcome.
dragonpoet
Comment from Tatarka2
If I had a 6 left, I'd give it to you for this lovely tribute to Brooke - her own style! I know she'll love this, especially the way you've taken the time to include the things she so magically includes in her own poetry. Congratulations on having written such a lovely poem of tribute. I'm so glad you did.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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If I had a 6 left, I'd give it to you for this lovely tribute to Brooke - her own style! I know she'll love this, especially the way you've taken the time to include the things she so magically includes in her own poetry. Congratulations on having written such a lovely poem of tribute. I'm so glad you did.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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Thank you very much for this lovely review and for your wish for a six star .
Comment from visionary1234
Oh Sanku, what a beautiful tribute you have written from your heart here! And you have done a fine job with rhythm, too. What a memory you have for all her special images! Well done!
Big hugs,
Sharyn
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2015
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Oh Sanku, what a beautiful tribute you have written from your heart here! And you have done a fine job with rhythm, too. What a memory you have for all her special images! Well done!
Big hugs,
Sharyn
Comment Written 03-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2015
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Thank you very much for this honour .I am so happy that it has come from you who is an expert wordsmith and one i admire very much.Thank you also for the help .I could find the forum and read Miranda's message.
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Sanku, A heartfelt poem written in the essence of Brooke. Of special note:
She sketches the world around her
with the clarity of dawn's dew
birds,beetles and weeds that wither
find themselves drawn in golden hue.
(Indeed they do - the essence and true spirit of Brooke)
And so ...
Like the butterfly
that glitters in the wind,
so does the loving heart
of a-dew-pearl
called Brooke.
Wonderful artwork choice and glorious color choice. A poem that's sure to please our #1 Poet.
Smiles, LateBloomer
called Brooke
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
|
Hello Sanku, A heartfelt poem written in the essence of Brooke. Of special note:
She sketches the world around her
with the clarity of dawn's dew
birds,beetles and weeds that wither
find themselves drawn in golden hue.
(Indeed they do - the essence and true spirit of Brooke)
And so ...
Like the butterfly
that glitters in the wind,
so does the loving heart
of a-dew-pearl
called Brooke.
Wonderful artwork choice and glorious color choice. A poem that's sure to please our #1 Poet.
Smiles, LateBloomer
called Brooke
Comment Written 03-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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Thank you very much. I hope brooke will like and be able to read all these poems.
