Stealing Kisses
being naughty21 total reviews
Comment from PoemsOfDD
A solid write. I can see this not ending so well. Affairs always have an unhappy ending for someone. An enjoyable write as it has some clever twists to it and a story line. Well done.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2015
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A solid write. I can see this not ending so well. Affairs always have an unhappy ending for someone. An enjoyable write as it has some clever twists to it and a story line. Well done.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2015
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thank you
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Admitting you stole kisses from forbidden fruit. The one knows he do wrong he plead not to tell his wife, but he still want to go steal more kisses from another man's wife.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2015
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Admitting you stole kisses from forbidden fruit. The one knows he do wrong he plead not to tell his wife, but he still want to go steal more kisses from another man's wife.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2015
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thank you
Comment from Sis Cat
Yes, and your fun shows in this poem. It is well rhymed, structured, and playful. There is a childlike charm and innocence to this poem. The kiss stealer is unrepentant in an addictive sort of way.
Off to steal more kisses
my hunger and my strife
if kisses were but wishes
have the time of my life
I hope he does not get caught. thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2015
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Yes, and your fun shows in this poem. It is well rhymed, structured, and playful. There is a childlike charm and innocence to this poem. The kiss stealer is unrepentant in an addictive sort of way.
Off to steal more kisses
my hunger and my strife
if kisses were but wishes
have the time of my life
I hope he does not get caught. thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 30-May-2015
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2015
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thanks for your kind review
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello keimosobie, Ahhhh ... kisses without regrets--now that's kissing. Of special note:
I still feel the softness
caressed on my lips
hands filled with wantonness
pulled her on her hips
I also liked:
I have stolen kisses
to this I must confess
I know she is a misses
A sin I must undress
(Suggestion about that kissing ...
you may just want to hold on to the confessing
until you've done some undressing
cause one you confess your sin
you promise to sin no more
and there will be no chance to do undressing.
So be quick and do some undressing, before the confessing - lol. I just had to share that thought 'cause that's what I thought as I read that verse.)
And now for my afterthought:
I thought I stole some kisses
until I realized that the Misses
was willing to give those kisses
away to me, and him, and Jim - lol.)
A fun poem. Lovely artwork choice. Your poem made me smile and laugh just a wee bit. Smiles, LateBloomer
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2015
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Hello keimosobie, Ahhhh ... kisses without regrets--now that's kissing. Of special note:
I still feel the softness
caressed on my lips
hands filled with wantonness
pulled her on her hips
I also liked:
I have stolen kisses
to this I must confess
I know she is a misses
A sin I must undress
(Suggestion about that kissing ...
you may just want to hold on to the confessing
until you've done some undressing
cause one you confess your sin
you promise to sin no more
and there will be no chance to do undressing.
So be quick and do some undressing, before the confessing - lol. I just had to share that thought 'cause that's what I thought as I read that verse.)
And now for my afterthought:
I thought I stole some kisses
until I realized that the Misses
was willing to give those kisses
away to me, and him, and Jim - lol.)
A fun poem. Lovely artwork choice. Your poem made me smile and laugh just a wee bit. Smiles, LateBloomer
Comment Written 30-May-2015
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2015
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thank you for your kind review
Comment from amahra
Naughty, naughty, LOL! I really liked this poem. It rhymed really well and had a great rhythm. Very fun poem with great word choice and nice art work. Great job.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2015
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Naughty, naughty, LOL! I really liked this poem. It rhymed really well and had a great rhythm. Very fun poem with great word choice and nice art work. Great job.
Comment Written 30-May-2015
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2015
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thank you I hope I didnt offend too much
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No. I seldom make judgement. I wasn't offended.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hey, keimosobie,
While I appreciate the lighthearted nature of this; the punny playfulness, the tongue-in-cheek humor, and the attempts to lighten the mood around these hallowed halls now that adewpearl's been absent, there are several things which warrant revision.
For example, in the line, "I know she is a misses", it should read, I know she is a missus, since you're speaking of someone's wife. In this line, "oh if kisseswhere were but wishes...", you've used "where", when you should have written "were", and the second of the following two lines here:
"hands filled with wantonness
pulled her on her hips "...............I don't think makes any sense whatsoever.
This could easily be a much better read if the flow were adjusted to read more smoothly, and the numerous spelling errors were corrected. I hate to mete out anything less than five stars, but this poem, while a good effort, needs a bit of work.
Good luck with it...~Dean
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2015
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Hey, keimosobie,
While I appreciate the lighthearted nature of this; the punny playfulness, the tongue-in-cheek humor, and the attempts to lighten the mood around these hallowed halls now that adewpearl's been absent, there are several things which warrant revision.
For example, in the line, "I know she is a misses", it should read, I know she is a missus, since you're speaking of someone's wife. In this line, "oh if kisses
"hands filled with wantonness
pulled her on her hips "...............I don't think makes any sense whatsoever.
This could easily be a much better read if the flow were adjusted to read more smoothly, and the numerous spelling errors were corrected. I hate to mete out anything less than five stars, but this poem, while a good effort, needs a bit of work.
Good luck with it...~Dean
Comment Written 30-May-2015
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2015
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thank you for the kind review
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Anytime...
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Anytime...
Comment from sibhus
It's a good poem, very good poem, and the flow is gentle and sweet almost like a little tune. However, I'm a little undecided about the subject. It's like if I praise it too much, I'm supporting infidelity, but hey, it's imagination right. kidding, a wonderful poem.
reply by the author on 30-May-2015
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It's a good poem, very good poem, and the flow is gentle and sweet almost like a little tune. However, I'm a little undecided about the subject. It's like if I praise it too much, I'm supporting infidelity, but hey, it's imagination right. kidding, a wonderful poem.
Comment Written 30-May-2015
reply by the author on 30-May-2015
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Infedility is wrong I admit, but god forgives I hope and it's not the end of the world so I make light of it, thank you for the review
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello keimosobie
Oh Yes what a fun way you made your poem with your rhyme and repeated phrase--
I have stolen kisses
Gert
reply by the author on 30-May-2015
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Hello keimosobie
Oh Yes what a fun way you made your poem with your rhyme and repeated phrase--
I have stolen kisses
Gert
Comment Written 30-May-2015
reply by the author on 30-May-2015
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I think most of us do at some point ur god loves us anyway thanks for the kind review
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smiles you are welcome
Comment from ravenblack
Wishes-boy,you have let the genie out of the bottle. Just be careful lest the genie thump you on the head. A dangerous game summed up by "a sin I must undress". Your speaker knows it is a sin and does not care. A good poem. You just need to fix "mans"-in every instance, you need "man's". And "knot" should be "not".
reply by the author on 30-May-2015
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Wishes-boy,you have let the genie out of the bottle. Just be careful lest the genie thump you on the head. A dangerous game summed up by "a sin I must undress". Your speaker knows it is a sin and does not care. A good poem. You just need to fix "mans"-in every instance, you need "man's". And "knot" should be "not".
Comment Written 30-May-2015
reply by the author on 30-May-2015
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the knot is intentional. ill fix the man's thank you again
Comment from visionary1234
oh if kisses where(were) but wishes
this I can Knot deny (Knot may be deliberate? but it doesn't work)
I know she is a misses (missus - meaning 'is married')
kisses are only kisses
of which there is (are) no trace - i.e. has to agree with 'kisses' plural
Hope that helps! :)S
Rhythm's is often irregular in places ... main thing, though, is numerous spelling errors (eg 'misses' instead of 'missus' as you've used it) ... and contrived rhyme (geyser/wiser). Sorry - but definitely needs a little work still.
:)Sharyn
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reply by the author on 30-May-2015
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oh if kisses where(were) but wishes
this I can Knot deny (Knot may be deliberate? but it doesn't work)
I know she is a misses (missus - meaning 'is married')
kisses are only kisses
of which there is (are) no trace - i.e. has to agree with 'kisses' plural
Hope that helps! :)S
Rhythm's is often irregular in places ... main thing, though, is numerous spelling errors (eg 'misses' instead of 'missus' as you've used it) ... and contrived rhyme (geyser/wiser). Sorry - but definitely needs a little work still.
:)Sharyn
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-May-2015
reply by the author on 30-May-2015
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wasnt aware i misspelled misses thanks. yes ill work on the rythm too thanks again
