When Blood Collides
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Jeff's Gaffe"A family's love is tested.
22 total reviews
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Shari, another great chapter mate. I can't believe that the parents don't sit at the bridal table, I thought that is the way it's done. I may have kidnapped my daughter and headed to the hills if I were you LOL. Interesting stuff my friend. Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2015
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G'day Shari, another great chapter mate. I can't believe that the parents don't sit at the bridal table, I thought that is the way it's done. I may have kidnapped my daughter and headed to the hills if I were you LOL. Interesting stuff my friend. Cheers Fez
Comment Written 04-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2015
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What can I say. She made her bed and now has to lie in it. Sigh...
Comment from barkingdog
Ha! Frank does speak. I had just asked that in the previous review.
How did this marriage work out? You were so opposed to it. I guess we'll find out as the book continues. I'd be thumbing ahead. I'm so curious. LOL
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2015
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Ha! Frank does speak. I had just asked that in the previous review.
How did this marriage work out? You were so opposed to it. I guess we'll find out as the book continues. I'd be thumbing ahead. I'm so curious. LOL
Comment Written 02-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2015
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Well, they're still together. Guess it's karma. If do, Nichole unwittingly said to me after seven or eight years, "I think I've paid my dues." That says something, but she's still with him.
Comment from Shirley B
Dear Shari, I would have loved the restaurant too. I love the way you describe the place and the people "ape length arms" was great. I could tell you weren't very happy. I would have wanted to sit with the wedding party too. Great chapter, I loved it, Shirley
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2015
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Dear Shari, I would have loved the restaurant too. I love the way you describe the place and the people "ape length arms" was great. I could tell you weren't very happy. I would have wanted to sit with the wedding party too. Great chapter, I loved it, Shirley
Comment Written 02-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2015
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Thanks so much for the six, Shirley. Would that busy restaurant affect your seizures? Just wondering.
Comment from joann r romei
7 in an apartment would make a saint crack, seems like you were feeling left out of all the hoopla, I'm sure your daughter was overwhelmed with emotions as well.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2015
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7 in an apartment would make a saint crack, seems like you were feeling left out of all the hoopla, I'm sure your daughter was overwhelmed with emotions as well.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2015
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She wasn't happy about his family camping out there until after the wedding. It's a wonder to me that she didn't crack under the pressure.
Comment from Tatarka2
I would just repeat the same advice I've given before, Spitfire. Think of these people as characters, maybe even write it as a story, which would mean changing some of the details. In this chapter, I could feel the animosity you and your husband feel toward Jeff and his family, and your disappointment at being seated at the "old folks" table. I think it might help to take a step back, maybe try writing this from Nichole's point of view, see what happens. Or try it in the third person. You want to tell a story, I think, not necessarily to justify your resentment. It's a good story in its own right; the reader will make his/her own conclusions as the story is told.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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I would just repeat the same advice I've given before, Spitfire. Think of these people as characters, maybe even write it as a story, which would mean changing some of the details. In this chapter, I could feel the animosity you and your husband feel toward Jeff and his family, and your disappointment at being seated at the "old folks" table. I think it might help to take a step back, maybe try writing this from Nichole's point of view, see what happens. Or try it in the third person. You want to tell a story, I think, not necessarily to justify your resentment. It's a good story in its own right; the reader will make his/her own conclusions as the story is told.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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LOL. I was just thinking that-telling it from her POV. If I rewrite it, I would do so in the third person. For now, it's enough to purge my hostility and make peace with that part of my life.
Hugs,
Shari
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If you're willing to consider trying it from her POV, even if no one ever sees it, it might be helpful to you, in the end, because you'd probably see how "stuck" she felt. Anyway, I think this chapter, written from Nichole's POV, could be very, very powerful. What is she to do? How can she please parents, in-laws, fiance, and still be her own person? Obviously, no one could do all of this, but the potential for a powerful story is right there, I think. Thanks for writing this, Shari. I think you've hit on something that will resonate with so many family members who have been in similar situations.
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Hopefully, I'll get across the spiritual lessons I learned from this situation which did help prepare for another crises a year and a half later. I'll put that on my prompt list to write it from my daughter's POV, but she's a mystery to me anymore. It's hard being so far away.
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Sometimes when I write things from another person's POV I find I can understand them so much better. This might even help you to be able to tell the story in the third person, eventually, if you had her POV as well. I think this is shaping up to be a very powerful story, layered and metaphoric, which will resonate with many families. Most of us experience these same emotions, even if not in the same situations. The Halloween wedding, the masks, etc., can be used as great literary devices to tell the story on many levels, I think.
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You got me to thinking that maybe I don't know my daughter at all! Maybe the woman who married Jeff is the one I glimpsed now and then during her bouts with depression in high school. I definitely will try to get into her head. She's dropped hints that even college was a torment for her. Thanks for all your input here. A great idea. This could be the skeleton for a novel indeed.
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I think so. I especially love the idea of the Halloween/mask wedding as metaphor. I think this is a powerful story, on any levels, and only you can tell it. Nichole is fortunate to have a mom with your insight and ability to articulate her plight. The ongoing process of understanding and telling her story might well be a bond between the two of you, as well as a great idea for a novel.
Comment from Donya Quijote
Now some of your true feelings come out. They are hidden the remarks or rather your internal dialogue. I like how that pops out from time to time. The place looks gaudy but if the pizza is delicious I would probably think it was cool. If the pizza is not then the place is an eye sore. Funny how that works, eh? I will put it on my list of places to visit with your recommendation.
Jeff has really rubbed the two of your the wrong way up to this point, and the wedding prep and the wedding is getting to you. I thought they were supposed to be happy occasions but this one does not seem to be. Lots of hurt still there as you dredge up the past. Hard to let go, sometimes.
Not sure of the gaffe. Jeff seems to have an odd sense of humor. Guess he thought he was funny. The "boring table", hmmm? I can't imagine a table with you sitting there could ever be boring. Nope, just not happening. Interesting how the table went silent at the comment. I figure you are building again. Bomb will drop next chapter.
Keep 'em comin'....
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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Now some of your true feelings come out. They are hidden the remarks or rather your internal dialogue. I like how that pops out from time to time. The place looks gaudy but if the pizza is delicious I would probably think it was cool. If the pizza is not then the place is an eye sore. Funny how that works, eh? I will put it on my list of places to visit with your recommendation.
Jeff has really rubbed the two of your the wrong way up to this point, and the wedding prep and the wedding is getting to you. I thought they were supposed to be happy occasions but this one does not seem to be. Lots of hurt still there as you dredge up the past. Hard to let go, sometimes.
Not sure of the gaffe. Jeff seems to have an odd sense of humor. Guess he thought he was funny. The "boring table", hmmm? I can't imagine a table with you sitting there could ever be boring. Nope, just not happening. Interesting how the table went silent at the comment. I figure you are building again. Bomb will drop next chapter.
Keep 'em comin'....
Comment Written 31-May-2015
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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The restaurant is noted for its food. A place to go it you are in the area. This write is helping me to see that I built mountains out of molehills, although basically it comes down to the fact we didn't like Jeff. As for his remark, you are so astute. When I told Nichole about it later, she said it was his idea of humor! (Wrong time to show it.) Anyway, the post is helping me clear the cobwebs away and make an effort to like Jeff. I talked to him for a half hour on the phone last time I called my daughter. Will try to get the next post on tomorrow. It's almost done.
Comment from judiverse
Great work, this. I love all the details in it. The pumpkins seem to be a big issue. It's hard to imagine what people go to such pains to do all that work. I can feel the slights that you and Frank feel as things progress. I think a Druid priest would be a little much for me. Not being able to sit with the bridal party--that would have been a sting. Your feelings about what's going on really come through, and your frustration and anger are understandable. The boring table--that would be an insult. Jeff clearly has no understanding of how other people might be feeling. judi
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Great work, this. I love all the details in it. The pumpkins seem to be a big issue. It's hard to imagine what people go to such pains to do all that work. I can feel the slights that you and Frank feel as things progress. I think a Druid priest would be a little much for me. Not being able to sit with the bridal party--that would have been a sting. Your feelings about what's going on really come through, and your frustration and anger are understandable. The boring table--that would be an insult. Jeff clearly has no understanding of how other people might be feeling. judi
Comment Written 31-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Thanks for the sixer, judi. This write has helped to purge a lot of my negative feelings. Glad you felt the emotion. Jeff still has no understanding of how he comes across. Sigh...
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You're welcome. I certainly "got" what Jeff was about, just reading about his behavior all along. judi
Comment from boxergirl
I enjoyed the sarcasm of your thoughts when Jeff said no need to rush. :-)
Great description also of the atmosphere at the grownup table. Restaurant video adds to the imagery. 8-)
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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I enjoyed the sarcasm of your thoughts when Jeff said no need to rush. :-)
Great description also of the atmosphere at the grownup table. Restaurant video adds to the imagery. 8-)
Comment Written 31-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Thanks, BG. So glad you commented on all three of those items.
Hugs,
Shari
Comment from Leen1
Once again, you've held my interest. The inclusion of the video tour of L & R is such a wonderful added plus. The place looks so inviting. However, all I can say about Jeff is that I can help but wonder what he'll do next to grate on my nerves.
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Once again, you've held my interest. The inclusion of the video tour of L & R is such a wonderful added plus. The place looks so inviting. However, all I can say about Jeff is that I can help but wonder what he'll do next to grate on my nerves.
Comment Written 31-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Thanks, Leen. Glad you found the video a plus. Poor Jeff. I give him a small bit of break in the next post.
Comment from Louise Michelle
LOL - good line about not caring for oriental food or company of inlaws.
Great description of restaurant - must have been magical.
I hate to tell ya, girl, but you are officially an old fogie - as am I, hee hee.
Are you using advanced editor in the new FS mode or in classic?
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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LOL - good line about not caring for oriental food or company of inlaws.
Great description of restaurant - must have been magical.
I hate to tell ya, girl, but you are officially an old fogie - as am I, hee hee.
Are you using advanced editor in the new FS mode or in classic?
Comment Written 31-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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I meant that line to be funny, although I was a mere 59 at the time. The classic mode can't be used for editing anymore which is a royal pain--worse than Jeff. No, It's a problem with internet explorer. Sigh...
