When Blood Collides
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "The Iron Incident "A family's love is tested.
24 total reviews
Comment from I am Cat
"They conduct self-improvement seminars (or) market new products." In other words, they sold the public anything it would buy.
I found the use of this particular preposition the most interesting part of this... OR... or whatever works. LOL
wow, that's a tough way to make a living... it would make me nervous all the time.
I also had to wonder about your hands? It made me worry about them and why you couldn't hold the iron? :(
I'm back at it, as you can see... dancing from both ends of the candle.. .I see the new chapters and want so much to read those but swear I won't read out of sequence. LOL
It's crazy. I'm going to catch up. Hell, at this rate, it might not be until after the first of the year... I may read and skip some reviewing, but i"m going to read it ALL! ;)
HUGS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS
oops (caps lock)
Cat
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2015
  |
"They conduct self-improvement seminars (or) market new products." In other words, they sold the public anything it would buy.
I found the use of this particular preposition the most interesting part of this... OR... or whatever works. LOL
wow, that's a tough way to make a living... it would make me nervous all the time.
I also had to wonder about your hands? It made me worry about them and why you couldn't hold the iron? :(
I'm back at it, as you can see... dancing from both ends of the candle.. .I see the new chapters and want so much to read those but swear I won't read out of sequence. LOL
It's crazy. I'm going to catch up. Hell, at this rate, it might not be until after the first of the year... I may read and skip some reviewing, but i"m going to read it ALL! ;)
HUGS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS
oops (caps lock)
Cat
Comment Written 05-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2015
-
Hey, a late review is better than nothing.
As for holding the iron, I probably just set it close to the edge and it fell.
I'll check on that sentence. It's hard to keep up with reviews and write your own material too!
Appreciate it.
-
Oh don't I know it...
Oh I don't mean to change the preposition... I'm just saying... wow... that's a hard way to live. . LOL
this OR that... like... it didn't matter... it wasn't this AND that... yeah, that's hard. that's like almost gypsy life... not knowing what's coming next... that's hard. :(
Comment from IndianaIrish
I give you a gold star for not saying anything snippy back to Nichole, Shari. It must have been difficult. You switched to present tense when describing the carving and wonder if it would be more consistent if you write it in past tense like the rest of the book.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
|
I give you a gold star for not saying anything snippy back to Nichole, Shari. It must have been difficult. You switched to present tense when describing the carving and wonder if it would be more consistent if you write it in past tense like the rest of the book.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
-
Thanks for noting this. I edited and changed some wording too.
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Shari, crikey my mum would have donged me on the head if I'd spoken to her like that. None of this "Are you ok mum? from Nichole, Just "you broke something and did you burn my dress?" Sheesh! Anyway, this is another great chapter mate, I hope you get rid of avon ladies and car salesmen soon LOL. Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
|
G'day Shari, crikey my mum would have donged me on the head if I'd spoken to her like that. None of this "Are you ok mum? from Nichole, Just "you broke something and did you burn my dress?" Sheesh! Anyway, this is another great chapter mate, I hope you get rid of avon ladies and car salesmen soon LOL. Cheers Fez
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
-
A delightful review-- the Avon lady--you crack me up. You're right. Nichole's concern should have been for me!
Comment from Tatarka2
You kept me engaged throughout in this chapter. I thought the use of dialogue between yourself and Nichole really helped move the story along. I would suggest that the first part of this chapter, before the dialogue, seems a bit heavy on "telling." I've tried writing autobiographical material before myself. My writing coach once gave me great advice. She said, "think of the people as characters, and write it as you would a fiction story." This was so helpful to me, because then I didn't feel as much compulsion to "tell" the reader everything, and fill in all the backstory with narrative so the reader would understand it the way I wanted them to. Just a thought . . .
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
|
You kept me engaged throughout in this chapter. I thought the use of dialogue between yourself and Nichole really helped move the story along. I would suggest that the first part of this chapter, before the dialogue, seems a bit heavy on "telling." I've tried writing autobiographical material before myself. My writing coach once gave me great advice. She said, "think of the people as characters, and write it as you would a fiction story." This was so helpful to me, because then I didn't feel as much compulsion to "tell" the reader everything, and fill in all the backstory with narrative so the reader would understand it the way I wanted them to. Just a thought . . .
Comment Written 25-May-2015
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
-
I'll try to keep that in mind, Tat. I think you've mentioned it before, so shame on me. Thanks as always for any advice.
Comment from Louise Michelle
Hi Shari,
What an ordeal! You may be a bit of a klutz, but under all that tension it probably exacerbated it.
I still can't get used to the way your daughter talks to you. Were you always a liberal mother? I can remember my mother washing my mouth out with soap. Now it would be considered child abuse.
Hugs,
Lou
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
|
Hi Shari,
What an ordeal! You may be a bit of a klutz, but under all that tension it probably exacerbated it.
I still can't get used to the way your daughter talks to you. Were you always a liberal mother? I can remember my mother washing my mouth out with soap. Now it would be considered child abuse.
Hugs,
Lou
Comment Written 25-May-2015
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
-
She got a little mouthy during her teen years a couple of times, but California really changed her for the worst. I never washed her mouth out, but I did haul off and slap her face hard once. Yep, child abuse for sure.
Comment from w.j.debi
Oh, this wedding sounds like it belongs on Halloween with all the horrors that you describe. The decorations certainly were not the easiest that could have been. You are very patient. I probably would have bought paints and painted on the jack-o-lanterns faces instead of gutting the pumpkins. Oh, the things we do for love. As you state, you didn't want to create a scene and it was your daughter's wedding.
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
|
Oh, this wedding sounds like it belongs on Halloween with all the horrors that you describe. The decorations certainly were not the easiest that could have been. You are very patient. I probably would have bought paints and painted on the jack-o-lanterns faces instead of gutting the pumpkins. Oh, the things we do for love. As you state, you didn't want to create a scene and it was your daughter's wedding.
Comment Written 25-May-2015
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
-
Appreciate your understanding. It is important to keep the piece at a time like this.
Comment from Debbie Noland
Another enjoyable segment and what can't I get out of my head? The glowing orange image of all those pumpkins! In my mind I see a reception area where every table has a jack-o'-lantern centerpiece.
What a symbol here! A pumpkin has a hard outward veneer but is a mushy, tangled mess inside. That must reflect the way you felt yourself. Halloween is kind of a bipolar holiday--fun and celebratory, but with a kind of scary undercurrent. This wedding exudes that same ambiguity.
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
|
Another enjoyable segment and what can't I get out of my head? The glowing orange image of all those pumpkins! In my mind I see a reception area where every table has a jack-o'-lantern centerpiece.
What a symbol here! A pumpkin has a hard outward veneer but is a mushy, tangled mess inside. That must reflect the way you felt yourself. Halloween is kind of a bipolar holiday--fun and celebratory, but with a kind of scary undercurrent. This wedding exudes that same ambiguity.
Comment Written 24-May-2015
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
-
What an awesome interpretation. I hadn't thought of that. The pumpkin could be a symbol of both Jeff and Nichole. Maybe they are more alike than I thought!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
My first thought was, "That's way too many pumpkins... you'll never finish."
Interesting episode, and I'm glad it was you and not me. You're like me. I don't handle crowds well... stresses me out.
Definitely explains Jeff's inability to hold down a steady job.
parents, entrepreneurs << Remove comma.
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
|
My first thought was, "That's way too many pumpkins... you'll never finish."
Interesting episode, and I'm glad it was you and not me. You're like me. I don't handle crowds well... stresses me out.
Definitely explains Jeff's inability to hold down a steady job.
parents, entrepreneurs << Remove comma.
Comment Written 24-May-2015
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
-
Thanks, Phyllis. I'm glad you saw what I did about the job thing. Fixed the comma error.
Comment from judiverse
Carving all those pumpkins sounds like quite a task. Great description of Jeff's family. After learning about their job history, it's easy to see why Jeff couldn't seem to settle into a job. Dropping the iron doesn't seem like a big deal, but the circumstances blow it out of proportion. As you say, the tension of the wedding preparations and meeting Jeff's parents contributes to it being a big deal. You seem determined to keep the peace. judi
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
|
Carving all those pumpkins sounds like quite a task. Great description of Jeff's family. After learning about their job history, it's easy to see why Jeff couldn't seem to settle into a job. Dropping the iron doesn't seem like a big deal, but the circumstances blow it out of proportion. As you say, the tension of the wedding preparations and meeting Jeff's parents contributes to it being a big deal. You seem determined to keep the peace. judi
Comment Written 24-May-2015
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
-
Thanks, judi. I'm thinking ahead to the next chapter and wondering if her bridal party really enjoyed all that work! Will post a picture with it.
-
You're welcome. Hope the wedding party had something lovely to remember, despite the work involved. judi
Comment from Leen1
After reading the last sentence unexpectedly one word escaped from my lips and that was: Whoa! You were correct with terms of the reaction from your daughter with regards to the iron incident. She was indeed tense, and the only people she can take it out on were you and your husband. Blame would always lay at your feet. She dare not ruffle the feathers of her "new" in-laws for fear of upsetting her intended. This your life has taken on such an interest for me. I'm enjoying every word.
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
|
After reading the last sentence unexpectedly one word escaped from my lips and that was: Whoa! You were correct with terms of the reaction from your daughter with regards to the iron incident. She was indeed tense, and the only people she can take it out on were you and your husband. Blame would always lay at your feet. She dare not ruffle the feathers of her "new" in-laws for fear of upsetting her intended. This your life has taken on such an interest for me. I'm enjoying every word.
Comment Written 24-May-2015
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
-
Leen, you are spot on with your interpretation of the event. She had to take it out on someone she trusted to still love her.
I didn't like her at that moment, but never stopped loving her.
Future events break my heart again.
