The Mess
A person asks himself how he will tell others about his MESS20 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well written. Good work.
I have an idea, but I hope to goodness that ain't it.
Some messes can't be just 'got out of', not without changing up everything, including the ones you would tell the story to.
Best wishes and good luck.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2022
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Well written. Good work.
I have an idea, but I hope to goodness that ain't it.
Some messes can't be just 'got out of', not without changing up everything, including the ones you would tell the story to.
Best wishes and good luck.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2022
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Thank you
Comment from Thatguypk
I haven't at all decided what the mess is! But well done, if the intention was to arouse curiosity, you have managed to do so very effectively. :-) A cleverly constructed Short.
PK
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2022
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I haven't at all decided what the mess is! But well done, if the intention was to arouse curiosity, you have managed to do so very effectively. :-) A cleverly constructed Short.
PK
Comment Written 03-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from John Ciarmello
This is so well written and all together haunting. My assumptions are these are war time stories that are hard to talk about, but also as therapeutic. An engaging read.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2022
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This is so well written and all together haunting. My assumptions are these are war time stories that are hard to talk about, but also as therapeutic. An engaging read.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2022
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Thank You!
Comment from jessizero
I like the story you have told while allowing the reader to fill in the blanks. You've done a good job with the flash format. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2022
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I like the story you have told while allowing the reader to fill in the blanks. You've done a good job with the flash format. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2022
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Thank You!
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, I think the biggest thing I take away from this "story" is that there really isn't a story. This is at best a preamble. And one in where the reader really don't know a thing. No meaningful information is shared.
I suggest add more information and more context.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2022
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Hmm, I think the biggest thing I take away from this "story" is that there really isn't a story. This is at best a preamble. And one in where the reader really don't know a thing. No meaningful information is shared.
I suggest add more information and more context.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2022
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Noted.
Comment from Gloria ....
Hi, Gunner, I rather like your short story. The fact that you didn't mention exactly what the big mess is makes it all the more a quandary. It could be anything, particularly because there is alcohol involved the guy might've suffered memory loss and has no idea why he ended up in the clink.
Delightfully misleading and well written.
Gloria
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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Hi, Gunner, I rather like your short story. The fact that you didn't mention exactly what the big mess is makes it all the more a quandary. It could be anything, particularly because there is alcohol involved the guy might've suffered memory loss and has no idea why he ended up in the clink.
Delightfully misleading and well written.
Gloria
Comment Written 31-May-2015
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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Thank you for your kind words. It was a fun to write.
Thank you again.
Comment from petalangela
Hmmmm. A riddle a guess perhaps redundancy due to missing work too much. You seem too nice to be having and illicit affair.
Aha I have it a speeding ticket an I arrogant cop and the housekeeping gone for a wek .....hope your wife loves you lol
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Hmmmm. A riddle a guess perhaps redundancy due to missing work too much. You seem too nice to be having and illicit affair.
Aha I have it a speeding ticket an I arrogant cop and the housekeeping gone for a wek .....hope your wife loves you lol
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Thank you for reading my short.
Comment from JasmineNikki
An easy to follow story. The language used was nice to read (I particularly like the use of quandary!) and writing about the reactions of the other men in a similar situation to the main character was good.
I feel if there was the tiniest hint of MAYBE what he had done it would have held me captivated that little bit more, but overall an enjoyable read!
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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An easy to follow story. The language used was nice to read (I particularly like the use of quandary!) and writing about the reactions of the other men in a similar situation to the main character was good.
I feel if there was the tiniest hint of MAYBE what he had done it would have held me captivated that little bit more, but overall an enjoyable read!
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from MelB
So many different ways you could go with this one. I was hoping for a few more clues. My first thought was it involves a woman somehow. I thought maybe a pregnancy. Then, I wondered if gambling was involved. As you can see, the wheels are turning. I hope you reveal what the mess is or perhaps write another chapter to add on to this story.
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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So many different ways you could go with this one. I was hoping for a few more clues. My first thought was it involves a woman somehow. I thought maybe a pregnancy. Then, I wondered if gambling was involved. As you can see, the wheels are turning. I hope you reveal what the mess is or perhaps write another chapter to add on to this story.
Comment Written 25-May-2015
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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Thank you for your kind words.
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You're welcome:)
Comment from Walu Feral
Hahahaha! G'day Lil. Welcome to fanstory mate. This little yarn of yours certainly got the whells in this old brain turning, which is always a tough task. I loved it, expertly written and very clever. I'm hoping that you have a part 2. But just in case, I reckon they've run out of money to buy the next beer and don't want to go home sober to the missus LOL. This was cool stuff, cheers Fez
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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Hahahaha! G'day Lil. Welcome to fanstory mate. This little yarn of yours certainly got the whells in this old brain turning, which is always a tough task. I loved it, expertly written and very clever. I'm hoping that you have a part 2. But just in case, I reckon they've run out of money to buy the next beer and don't want to go home sober to the missus LOL. This was cool stuff, cheers Fez
Comment Written 25-May-2015
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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Thank you very much for your kind words.
