Comment from His Grayness

Exceptional

Absolutely "gripping' from start to finish! What a brilliant piece of writing here and certainly worthy of the TOP SPOT ON THE WRITERS BLOCK! Congratulations for a big win! Vance

 Comment Written 19-May-2015

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reply by the author on 20-May-2015

Thanks, my good friend, Vance. But you know what they say, "it ain't over 'til the weight challenged lady sings", (you can't say "fat" anymore. It's considered rude, lol) and she hasn't even began to warm up her vocals yet. However, I'm glad to know that you think it's written well enough to win the competition, although I doubt it's horrifying enough for the "Contest Competition Committee". That unnamed, faceless entity scare the beejeebers outta me, heh-heh...
I'm very grateful for your encouraging comments, and the sixth star as well.
All my best to you, Vance, and thanks again! ~Dean :}

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Oh Dear, should we all be worried by now? Well written and well structured story line.
Found a couple of mistakes: Anywho = Anyhow he recognised you....
Just go already? Do you mean alright or alrighty ?
Good luck in the contest. Ulla

 Comment Written 19-May-2015

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reply by the author on 19-May-2015

Nope, I meant "anywho", as well as "just go already", Ulla. Instead of "anyhow", my 18 year old daughter frequently uses "anywho" instead. I guess it's a younger person's thing because I've heard may of her friends do it too. I've also been told the word is in a couple of popular movies, although I admit, I've never seen them. Love stories, most likely, and I don't do love stories, not anymore.

Thanks for reading and offering your comments about the story. I appreciate it as always.
~Dean

reply by Ulla on 19-May-2015

Ok, I am learning again. Ulla

reply by the author on 19-May-2015

Ha-ha, so am I... ;)

Comment from JJ Rowe

Excellent

Glad I tuned into this. It was very entertaining. I had a feeling there was a twisted but didn't fully figure it out. You got me. Great character building. Nice job! Good luck!

 Comment Written 19-May-2015

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reply by the author on 19-May-2015

Thanks for reading it, JJ. I know it's rather lengthy. I very much appreciate your excellent feedback.
~Dean

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Dean,

Very nicely told story.
not as gory as some of the others and the tit for tat, tongue in cheek tone works very well. Two mutually horrid people competing for the same slot - always the way. Never pretty. Great descriptive sequences.

good luck in the competition.
G

 Comment Written 19-May-2015

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reply by the author on 19-May-2015

Thanks, G-man. I busted a hump getting this one in just under the wire. An entire week of late-night editing and rewrites, But, what else is new for those of us who feel compelled to write?
Much obliged for your review. ~Dean

reply by giraffmang on 19-May-2015

I know what you mean. I had one planned for this too but time has gotten away from me. I don't think I can get it finished in time now! I have had to slow the writing down for a bit due to other commitments at the minute.

G

Comment from Tatarka2

Excellent

I think this may very well be the winner in this contest. It was perfect. I knew Bruce was going to get it in the end, but you've told the story with action and dialogue, and kept up the suspense throughout. The idea of making it a writing site murder was creative, and so apt for this contest. I was pretty sure this was your contest to win, and I really think you've done it with this one.

 Comment Written 19-May-2015

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reply by the author on 19-May-2015

Thanks, Tataka, and if nothing else, I'm really happy to know that you think so, at least. A lot of late-night editing and rewrites went into this one. I wanted Grace to be likeable yet also a bit of a bi...well, you know... Did you hate and despise Bruce's character? I wanted the ladies who took a chance on reading this to loathe the guy.
Anyhow, I'm really glad you found the story engaging and entertaining. That alone makes all those late nights seem worthwhile.
Thanks again...~Dean ;}

reply by Tatarka2 on 19-May-2015

Yes, I found Bruce despicable but Grace wasn't such a prize either, was she? This one is so uniquely you. It's horrendous, the perfect story for this site, with a touch (very light touch) of tongue-in-cheek humor and laughing at ourselves - - perfect.

reply by the author on 19-May-2015

Thanks, "T". I really appreciate that. :)

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Exceptional

Noir, His little plan backfired on him didn't it. This is a great entry for the contest Dean. So funny to think that ratings would be important enough to kill for. LOL
It sees our dead hero had an inflated ego that needed deflating a bit. It seems Grace was more than happy to do that for him. Now she is #One. Alwats keep an eye on the compitition. Nancy

 Comment Written 19-May-2015

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reply by the author on 20-May-2015

Yeah...ain't it a kick in the groin, Nancy, lol? Old Bruce should have remembered that old tried & true quote by William Congrove before he decided to do Grace in, "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned,."
Thanks very much for reading this rather lengthy post, and for your generous six star rating as well. As always, I greatly appreciate your kind and thoughtful support. :}
~Dean

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

Rule number one, never try to kill someone in a public place...rule number two, never take your eye off the murder weapon. Rule number three, rethink you plan and find a better one. Poor guy, done in by his own ignorance and a broad named Grace, and all for a first place spot. Oh what us writers will do for fame and fortune...okay maybe just fame -- okay, okay, not real fame. I got a kick out of this one an wish you all the best in the contest too. Great entry.

 Comment Written 19-May-2015

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reply by the author on 20-May-2015

Hah-ha, thanks, Smurph. I gotta pretty good "kick" out of reading your reply as well, lol...
Much obliged, my friend, and thanks again...~Dean

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Exceptional

"OH, nothin" he responded, smiling, "just an observation's all"------marks before just is missing.
Oh I couldn't read it fast enough to get to the end to see what happened.
Nicely done. Expertly written

 Comment Written 19-May-2015

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reply by the author on 20-May-2015

Thanks for catching that error for me, Barb, and for taking the time to read such a lengthy story in the first place. I'm glad you liked the pacing of it, given it's length, and I really appreciate your kind comments and generous six star rating.
All my best to you, and thanks so much again! ~Dean :}

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

I enjoyed your top-quote, it is deadly at the top and all the photos that complement your story perfectly. You had it nicely built up, thrilling till the end. The guy wants to kill the girl by putting arsenic in her coffee. But somebody told her about it and at the end she kills him.

 Comment Written 19-May-2015

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reply by the author on 20-May-2015

Thanks so much, Ine. Enjoy the rest of your week. ~Dean

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Looks like I'll have to guard my back Dean. This was well written, the characters were lusty and believable, well designed and with an interesting plot, it was engaging cleverly thought out, I thin it's definitely got a very good chance in this contest, well done. My friend, blessings, Roy.

 Comment Written 19-May-2015

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reply by the author on 19-May-2015

Thanks for reading my story, Roy. Well, it's not really my story, it's about two totally different people, on an altogether different writing site. Oh heck, you know what I mean...
:)

~Dean

reply by royowen on 19-May-2015

Heh heh,