Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

haiku
-follows the -5-7-5 format
-it's focused on a brief moment in time
-has provocative image
- it can be read in one breath
-sense of sudden enlightenment
-writen in a present tense
-excellent simplicity
-convined 2 images or ideas divided by a justaposition

 Comment Written 12-May-2015

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reply by the author on 12-May-2015

Thanks for the five stars and the comment. This was the only image on FanArtReview that was close to what I wanted. I didn't want to down industry because they aren't the only places that pollutes the air.

Comment from Jeanie Mercer

Excellent

This meets the contest criteria as to form and syllable count and it addresses a subject of current interest. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 12-May-2015

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reply by the author on 12-May-2015

Thanks for the five stars and comment.

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Short, sweet, and right to an easy to follow story line that touches on a very big problem being faced today. Well done. Picture illustrates this message well. Write on.

 Comment Written 12-May-2015

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reply by the author on 12-May-2015

Thank you for the five stars and comment.

Comment from Praise000

Excellent

Good day,

You have managed to say a lot in a few words
and three lines.
"Pollutants...Indoors or outdoors
Unhealthy..." All the best. Praise000

 Comment Written 12-May-2015

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reply by the author on 12-May-2015

Thank you for the five stars and comment. I had another way to go but I read that not only is in the air outside be on the inside as well.

Comment from CR Delport

Excellent

It is so sad how we humans contaminate and pollute this beautiful planet of ours. I fear for my children's children. They might suffer the consequences of our arrogance. This is well done.
Take care.
Christelle.

 Comment Written 12-May-2015

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reply by the author on 12-May-2015

Thank you for the five stars and comment.

Comment from kriver

Excellent

Hi
This is a good contest entry.
Good imagery with the picture.
The word choice is good.
It is directly to the point.
The statement's point is
obvious to the reader.

 Comment Written 12-May-2015

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reply by the author on 12-May-2015

Thank you for the five stars and comment.

Comment from cbat

Excellent

Your poem is strikingly true, if it were not it would be funny.

You get straight to the truth.
Also this hopefully draws attention to the problem.

Great words!

 Comment Written 12-May-2015

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reply by the author on 12-May-2015

Thanks for the five stars and comment.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

A really good socially aware 3/5/3 air entry in this poetry contest. There's really not much can be done with such a short discipline, but this is quite good, nice artwork too! Well done, good luck, blessings, Roy.

 Comment Written 11-May-2015

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reply by the author on 12-May-2015

Thank you for your five stars and comment.

reply by royowen on 12-May-2015

My pleasure.

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

You've written a fine 3-5-3 poem
The syllable count is spot on
It addresses the topic well
Sends a great message
Great photograph to poem match
Good luck in the contest
Excellent

 Comment Written 11-May-2015

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reply by the author on 12-May-2015

Thank your for the five stars and comment.

Comment from pharp

Excellent

Profound statements can be made with very words, and you penned this 3-5-3 poem syllable count spot on. Excellent job, message received. Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 11-May-2015

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reply by the author on 12-May-2015

Thank you for the five stars and comment.