Short Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Lady In Red"A book of a mixture of stories
15 total reviews
Comment from kriver
Hi,
This is a very good short work piece.
The dialogue was very smooth and believable.
The scene descriptions
were clear and detailed
for such a short write.
The characters were well
defined and described.
Over all it is a well written work.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2019
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Hi,
This is a very good short work piece.
The dialogue was very smooth and believable.
The scene descriptions
were clear and detailed
for such a short write.
The characters were well
defined and described.
Over all it is a well written work.
Comment Written 15-May-2015
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2019
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Thank you
Comment from fimarie78
This is a very well written, engaging piece. You set the scene well with the lady and her prospective client and clever ending when the tables are turned on him. well done.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2019
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This is a very well written, engaging piece. You set the scene well with the lady and her prospective client and clever ending when the tables are turned on him. well done.
Comment Written 15-May-2015
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2019
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Thank you
Comment from DynamoRich
Hi. Loved this. Prefer stories such as this with a twist at the end. Only addition I would suggest would be to describe the smell of the perfume to add to the moment. Great read :)
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2019
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Hi. Loved this. Prefer stories such as this with a twist at the end. Only addition I would suggest would be to describe the smell of the perfume to add to the moment. Great read :)
Comment Written 14-May-2015
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2019
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Thank you
Comment from JasmineNikki
I loved the twist at the end, a very good read. I would have liked to know why Jack was assassinating the prostitute in the first place? It might have given a bit more impact when he was stopped. Just my thoughts :)
reply by the author on 14-May-2015
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I loved the twist at the end, a very good read. I would have liked to know why Jack was assassinating the prostitute in the first place? It might have given a bit more impact when he was stopped. Just my thoughts :)
Comment Written 13-May-2015
reply by the author on 14-May-2015
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I had hoped the comment "getting the sluts off our streets" might have shown reason enough, but maybe not. I do appreciate your thoughts ande comments to my post. Have a great day!
Comment from TPAC
Very Good. Man I love the way you laid out this whole event and expressed in a on going role in words. Your talent marks my to be like scale. Thoughts in the story convey well and one can imagine themselves within sequence of occurrences I feel magic thank you
reply by the author on 14-May-2015
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Very Good. Man I love the way you laid out this whole event and expressed in a on going role in words. Your talent marks my to be like scale. Thoughts in the story convey well and one can imagine themselves within sequence of occurrences I feel magic thank you
Comment Written 13-May-2015
reply by the author on 14-May-2015
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WEll, that was a very uplifting comment to my old ego...Thank you for enjoying my short post and for leaving me your thoughts and generous comments. Have a great day!
Comment from jpduck
Although quite a long way from my favoured genres, I thought this was skilfully written - nice and tight, with short, terse sentences and a great twist in the tail. I couldn't spot any SPAGs or typos. Good luck with the contest.
Adrian
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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Although quite a long way from my favoured genres, I thought this was skilfully written - nice and tight, with short, terse sentences and a great twist in the tail. I couldn't spot any SPAGs or typos. Good luck with the contest.
Adrian
Comment Written 12-May-2015
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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Thank you, my friend. It's not my favorite either, but it's a pleasure to know you found a little enjoyment in my contest entry. I appreciate your time and comments. Have a great day!
Comment from Dean Kuch
Well, I guess old Jack, the wannabe Ripper, didn't quite have the skills of his predecessor from Whitechapel. But, you can't blame a guy for having a hobby and heroes to emulate. Unfortunately for him, he was found out and was given his just desserts.
I never expected him to be taken down by the brother and sister team looking for their streetwalker sibling. But, that's what flash fiction is designed to do, and should do when it's read. It's all about shock and awe, and you have elements of both here.
Good story, good writing, and good luck! ~Dean ;]
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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Well, I guess old Jack, the wannabe Ripper, didn't quite have the skills of his predecessor from Whitechapel. But, you can't blame a guy for having a hobby and heroes to emulate. Unfortunately for him, he was found out and was given his just desserts.
I never expected him to be taken down by the brother and sister team looking for their streetwalker sibling. But, that's what flash fiction is designed to do, and should do when it's read. It's all about shock and awe, and you have elements of both here.
Good story, good writing, and good luck! ~Dean ;]
Comment Written 12-May-2015
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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Thank you for your kind thoughts and comments. It's really strange, but "Jack" must have been lurking in this old lady's cob-webbed mind because I hadn't really thought of him until several reviewers mentioned it....Never know what else I might find LOL. Thanks again for stopping by.....Have a great day!
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You're more than welcome, and you do the same. :)
~Dean
Comment from cupa tea
nice sidestep...I was wondering who was gonna off who and didn't expect it to be someone not in the center of the game. Well done, it held my attention...
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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nice sidestep...I was wondering who was gonna off who and didn't expect it to be someone not in the center of the game. Well done, it held my attention...
Comment Written 12-May-2015
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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Thank you for your interest. Stories that are limited to words are difficult for me to write since I prefer to lead the reader on so I appreciate that you enjoyed the story. Thanks again! Have a great day!
Comment from vapros
Good story, well told and with a surprise ending. The lady in red made a fine decoy for the guy and his crusade in the district.
v
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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Good story, well told and with a surprise ending. The lady in red made a fine decoy for the guy and his crusade in the district.
v
Comment Written 12-May-2015
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my post. I appreciate it very much. Have a great day!
Comment from humpwhistle
The allusion to Jack the Ripper comes through pretty quickly. I wonder if that particular allusion is a little tired? And phrases like 'pearly whites', 'his eyes widened in disbelief'--are they maybe a little overused?
I find it beneficial to extract such phrases during the editing process. Fresh phrasing can make all the difference. Just a thought.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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The allusion to Jack the Ripper comes through pretty quickly. I wonder if that particular allusion is a little tired? And phrases like 'pearly whites', 'his eyes widened in disbelief'--are they maybe a little overused?
I find it beneficial to extract such phrases during the editing process. Fresh phrasing can make all the difference. Just a thought.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 12-May-2015
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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Thank you for your comments and thoughts...I appreciate the input. For me it is difficult to get invested in a story 500 words or less...and the old lady in maybe must choose from the dust covered files in her mind. I will take another look at the story and see if a fresher mind this morning can find something a bit more rewarding to the reader. Thanks again...Have a great day!
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I do understand about investment. But it's difficult for a reviewer to gauge a writer's interest quotient--especially on blind entries. L
