Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "Mary Christine"Dawn of Chaos
29 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Your poem about lost love and loneliness is very evocative. It certainly sounds like a true story and the artwork you selected helped to establish the mood. Sighs- Joan
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020
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Your poem about lost love and loneliness is very evocative. It certainly sounds like a true story and the artwork you selected helped to establish the mood. Sighs- Joan
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020
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No my walk through Italian neighborhood, seeing woman dressed fully black, asked friend whom informed me of her loss. Glad aspects in this write were found appealing, thanking you for generous rate and welcomed comments.
Comment from Maureen Sky
For me, I found this hard to read and comprehend. Maybe I needed to read more and research the craft and style of this work and for that I apologize. But, I did read it a few times over and each time, I still found myself confused. I think it needs more clarity.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020
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For me, I found this hard to read and comprehend. Maybe I needed to read more and research the craft and style of this work and for that I apologize. But, I did read it a few times over and each time, I still found myself confused. I think it needs more clarity.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020
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I hear your thoughts and will consider your viewpoint, pleased certain aspects were interesting to you, thanking you for generous rate and welcomed comments.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
I find the backwards affectation off-putting; awkward and hard to follow.
It's curious that you chose to start the verse in a normal order: Mary Christine is alone long ago retired--for which clarity I thank you--though the straightforward phrase seems perversely out of place with the scrambling that ensues. That said, I managed to tease out some fresh imagery and alliteration: mate...life's fate solitude...faceless still doll figure...appearing as a silhouette...dress fully blackened is a twist on the predictable. Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020
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I find the backwards affectation off-putting; awkward and hard to follow.
It's curious that you chose to start the verse in a normal order: Mary Christine is alone long ago retired--for which clarity I thank you--though the straightforward phrase seems perversely out of place with the scrambling that ensues. That said, I managed to tease out some fresh imagery and alliteration: mate...life's fate solitude...faceless still doll figure...appearing as a silhouette...dress fully blackened is a twist on the predictable. Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020
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You had problems interesting, hearing a similar viewpoint about this particular read, considering your statement. Thanking you for your generous rate and touching words.
Comment from Brenda Henderson
Heartbreaking. My heart goes out to you. I just heard a minister say on a YouTube video today that " in life you're like a bus driver. People will get on and off the bus but you have to keep driving." We often get so focused on the destination that we forget all about the journey and that's what it's all about! Sell that house and start a new chapter someplace else where you can meet people and enjoy your life. Don't just sit in an empty house waiting to die. I've been there and done that and it's not a good thing. It can only lead to bitterness and a walking dead existence. If this is not about you but about someone you know then become the one person who does visit her and try to bring some life to her life. I can promise you this; you'll feel better for having done so. Well done!
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020
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Heartbreaking. My heart goes out to you. I just heard a minister say on a YouTube video today that " in life you're like a bus driver. People will get on and off the bus but you have to keep driving." We often get so focused on the destination that we forget all about the journey and that's what it's all about! Sell that house and start a new chapter someplace else where you can meet people and enjoy your life. Don't just sit in an empty house waiting to die. I've been there and done that and it's not a good thing. It can only lead to bitterness and a walking dead existence. If this is not about you but about someone you know then become the one person who does visit her and try to bring some life to her life. I can promise you this; you'll feel better for having done so. Well done!
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020
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Glad this particular write seemed able to touch certain points of your interests, thanking you for generous rate and appreciated thoughts.
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You're welcome!
Comment from jmshumate
This is a very sad poem especially the last line " to cry each sun up night fell that came" So much said in that line, I've experienced that before, but life goes on whether we go on with it is up to us! Thank you for sharing this.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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This is a very sad poem especially the last line " to cry each sun up night fell that came" So much said in that line, I've experienced that before, but life goes on whether we go on with it is up to us! Thank you for sharing this.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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Happy you feel this was an emotional write, apparently capturing some person memories. Thanking you for those thoughts and generous rate.
Comment from BlueTiger
Great job on this poem as well, Tpac. Again, offbeat word order, but the meaning of this poem is clear to the reader. You bring a real feeling of grief to this piece, especially in the last line. Looking forward to reading more of your work!
-BT
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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Great job on this poem as well, Tpac. Again, offbeat word order, but the meaning of this poem is clear to the reader. You bring a real feeling of grief to this piece, especially in the last line. Looking forward to reading more of your work!
-BT
Comment Written 29-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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Yeah, my writes suffers its pits, wondering if perfection will never be obtained by my efforts. Glad aspects of this write were appealing to your interests. Thanking you for your generous rate.
Comment from Cybertron1986
The voice and unique expression here attaches me as the reader. From the start, there is a relatable and emotionally packed story of both tragedy and struggle. It sounds like Mary is losing the battle at the end to the unavoidable hand of time, but there is admiration in the implication of being strong through her tears. Beautifully expressed and engaging material.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
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The voice and unique expression here attaches me as the reader. From the start, there is a relatable and emotionally packed story of both tragedy and struggle. It sounds like Mary is losing the battle at the end to the unavoidable hand of time, but there is admiration in the implication of being strong through her tears. Beautifully expressed and engaging material.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
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Glad aspects of this write were found captivating to your interests. Thanking you for your generous rate and warm sentiments.
Comment from Earl Corp
Your notes helped me to get your point you were try ing to make. Did you mean a union broken by death? This is invokes a lot of sadness, but we all face being alone at the end.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2018
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Your notes helped me to get your point you were try ing to make. Did you mean a union broken by death? This is invokes a lot of sadness, but we all face being alone at the end.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2018
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Confusion seem the most my writes create, yet an interest by the reader to define the actual. As if, they were separating fantasy from fiction. I will consider your remarks. Thanking you for your generous rate and warm sentiments.
Comment from heavenempress
Hi, exceptional poetry and very rich in words. Well articulated and great presentation too. Will learn much from your rich display of words. I highly recommend your work to others.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2018
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Hi, exceptional poetry and very rich in words. Well articulated and great presentation too. Will learn much from your rich display of words. I highly recommend your work to others.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2018
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Now that's a different direction thinking I had to duck a tossed shoe. Glas aspects of this write were appealing to your interests. Thanking you for your generous rate and touching remarks.
Comment from Jaye Bennett
I can figure out from context what you are saying. However, the odd phrasing makes it difficult to follow the poem without studying it and rephrasing what is said. What you are trying to say is good, but it is hard to read. I do like what you are saying, when I manage to translate it into understandable language. Others may not have a problem. I am sorry I do. It does have appeal.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2018
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I can figure out from context what you are saying. However, the odd phrasing makes it difficult to follow the poem without studying it and rephrasing what is said. What you are trying to say is good, but it is hard to read. I do like what you are saying, when I manage to translate it into understandable language. Others may not have a problem. I am sorry I do. It does have appeal.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2018
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I too have problem with my sometimes incoherent conveyances. This is why I'm here to better their presentation. I will consider your remarks. Thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed response.
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Keep writing. That is the best way to learn the art/skill/trade. I will try to keep up with your work.
