Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Rest In Peace"Dawn of Chaos
29 total reviews
Comment from Allezw2
Simple enough! The last man standing can claim the right, however diminished it might be.
After all, war planners never count on their personal demise.
In the beginning the new recruit is invulnerable in the right (after all "God is with us." Immortal in the eyes of his peers, indestructible by the assurances of his leaders they are fed into the maelstrom.
It's one thing to pray for the safety of men at risk, quite another to pray for the destruction of the enemy.
As to the posting: Lots of threads, not always consonant with the thought. Too, there are slips where the nouns and numbers do not agree. Overall, 'a capture the flag' recounting.
And there are those so addicted to war games they spend fortues on paint ball games.
?????
I think you are pleased, though a bit more thought would make this a masterpiece.
Fantasist
Fantasist
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2015
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Simple enough! The last man standing can claim the right, however diminished it might be.
After all, war planners never count on their personal demise.
In the beginning the new recruit is invulnerable in the right (after all "God is with us." Immortal in the eyes of his peers, indestructible by the assurances of his leaders they are fed into the maelstrom.
It's one thing to pray for the safety of men at risk, quite another to pray for the destruction of the enemy.
As to the posting: Lots of threads, not always consonant with the thought. Too, there are slips where the nouns and numbers do not agree. Overall, 'a capture the flag' recounting.
And there are those so addicted to war games they spend fortues on paint ball games.
?????
I think you are pleased, though a bit more thought would make this a masterpiece.
Fantasist
Fantasist
Comment Written 26-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2015
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Thank you this work was cut from 1,ooo words to approx 500, I just want the story and thank you for reminding me to stay consistent will look into and revise great rate and welcoming insights with helpful advice more work
Comment from writeapoem
I found this poetry explaining the intense of war informative how true many would agree war is fought differently today.
The mere mention of the past ways and means of war we can read of Abraham and notice how he was successful in battle and refused the spoils of war that Sodom's king begged for.
And the king of Sodom said unto Abram, Give me the persons, and take the goods to thyself. Gen 14:22 And Abram said to the king of Sodom, I have lift up mine hand unto the LORD, the most high God, the possessor of heaven and earth,
Gen 14:23 That I will not take from a thread even to a shoelatchet, and that I will not take any thing that is thine, lest thou shouldest say, I have made Abram rich:
One more great war will be fought on this earth, and our greatest adversary will be the instigator. The crisis we face today with Isis will not compare.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015
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I found this poetry explaining the intense of war informative how true many would agree war is fought differently today.
The mere mention of the past ways and means of war we can read of Abraham and notice how he was successful in battle and refused the spoils of war that Sodom's king begged for.
And the king of Sodom said unto Abram, Give me the persons, and take the goods to thyself. Gen 14:22 And Abram said to the king of Sodom, I have lift up mine hand unto the LORD, the most high God, the possessor of heaven and earth,
Gen 14:23 That I will not take from a thread even to a shoelatchet, and that I will not take any thing that is thine, lest thou shouldest say, I have made Abram rich:
One more great war will be fought on this earth, and our greatest adversary will be the instigator. The crisis we face today with Isis will not compare.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015
So Abram caused the destruction of Sodom, threaten by mommon Abram refused, not desiring any portion but seemed offended, Thank you for over generous rate and insightful feedback
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought you did an excellent job with this poem. To make the impact stronger you may want to look at your word choices. You always refer to the warriors as -- warriors? Changing that reference to "young man, boy, or child" would impact that. Or even just describing young faces determined (but eyes hiding fear) would bring emotion from the reader into it the poem and have that much of a stronger impact. Great job. Your poem was easy to read. I think you accomplished the goal you set out for. I enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015
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I thought you did an excellent job with this poem. To make the impact stronger you may want to look at your word choices. You always refer to the warriors as -- warriors? Changing that reference to "young man, boy, or child" would impact that. Or even just describing young faces determined (but eyes hiding fear) would bring emotion from the reader into it the poem and have that much of a stronger impact. Great job. Your poem was easy to read. I think you accomplished the goal you set out for. I enjoyed it.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015
Truly a great critique of this work, constructive criticism which application enhance already composition structure Thanking you for all with blessings
Comment from kintesiegel
This poem contains a tragic momentum that grows in agony and sadness as the poem progresses. It makes the horrors of war way too real. It is an effective and sad tale of today. well done work
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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This poem contains a tragic momentum that grows in agony and sadness as the poem progresses. It makes the horrors of war way too real. It is an effective and sad tale of today. well done work
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
Thank you for your statement and written
insights about the work. A very strange piece
or odd ball in my collections of notes. A
very generous rate and great comment. Have
a good day.
Comment from patcelaw
I don't believe there is ever a true winner in war. There is coming a day though when there will be no more wars, but that will be when Jesus has returned and sets up His kingdom here on earth for 1,000 years.
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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I don't believe there is ever a true winner in war. There is coming a day though when there will be no more wars, but that will be when Jesus has returned and sets up His kingdom here on earth for 1,000 years.
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
I, too, feel the inspiration even though world
will be blind sided by event. Bad time to be
alive. But I do pray: His kingdom come.
Appreciate the generous rate and giving your
wonderful experience. Can you imagine
mine while writing the work?
Comment from angel123
Your poem is interesting and it held my attention. I enjoyed reading it and I like your title and artwork. It flows well and you painted a vivid picture of war. Best Wishes!
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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Your poem is interesting and it held my attention. I enjoyed reading it and I like your title and artwork. It flows well and you painted a vivid picture of war. Best Wishes!
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
Thanking you for your gracious comments.
The work throws items at reader, thought
suggestions in occurrences. Project
Endurance poems seem to express the title
within its artwork. You have confirmed all my
desires for the project just 1.99 Forewarn a
project in process
Comment from costellsgirl33
War I such a sad and tragic thing! But I do believe sometimes it is necessary. Sometimes a simple sit down with someone isn't an option. I have friends that their husband have gone to war and they came back a different person. It is indeed sad.
Your poem is very emotional, well to me it was, and it was written from the heart. Which to me is always the best place to write from.
I would never willingly to into the military and for that very reason, I admire and respect those in the armed forces.
Nice job
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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War I such a sad and tragic thing! But I do believe sometimes it is necessary. Sometimes a simple sit down with someone isn't an option. I have friends that their husband have gone to war and they came back a different person. It is indeed sad.
Your poem is very emotional, well to me it was, and it was written from the heart. Which to me is always the best place to write from.
I would never willingly to into the military and for that very reason, I admire and respect those in the armed forces.
Nice job
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
Grandfather served in WW1 but brother inspired this work. My brother, as I,
victims of what I define as Alliance. Alliance blood thirst sent platoon into not winnable situation. Aim to destroy all peasants and conquered foes. Agent orange assault on such units. My brother, lone survivor, given purple
heart. My brother served in Vietnam. War has its toll. Turn productive man into monster. Bad, flash back. Way too generous, rate with touching comment.
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War does take its toll. I have a friend that her husband's friend went to war and he came back a complete mess! It was incredibly sad and scary for him and his wife. Just sad.
Arnetta
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War does take its toll. I have a friend that her husband's friend went to war and he came back a complete mess! It was incredibly sad and scary for him and his wife. Just sad.
Arnetta
Comment from Jean Lutz
Ravages of war have plagued since the beginning of time and alas, will until the end. Yet we can each do a small part to bring peace to another or even self.
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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Ravages of war have plagued since the beginning of time and alas, will until the end. Yet we can each do a small part to bring peace to another or even self.
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
Among warmongers I see only a dream. Still,
as defender of righteousness; quote, "to bring peace to another or even self", unquote. Kind response with its generous rate and encouraging inspirations. Have a great day.
Comment from Donovan
The tragedy and paradoxical nature of war is alway upon us. We learn nothing from history. Life is not an exercise of benefiting from the past, but a repeat of the errors since Abel...or whoever it was.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
|
The tragedy and paradoxical nature of war is alway upon us. We learn nothing from history. Life is not an exercise of benefiting from the past, but a repeat of the errors since Abel...or whoever it was.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
Great point and true gospel. I see my inner intents not directly focused have emerge in the reader heart. Maybe, I should apologize. Constructive comments and over generous rate. Have a good day.
