Inside My Head
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "I'm going to raise you"I am what I am,my thoughts, my words,my poems
11 total reviews
Comment from grammy3
Your poem is very heartwarming. It took
me back in time when I had to explain to my then
two year old daughter why her daddy was gone.
Your poem showed the love and sweetness between parent and child. Well done!
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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Your poem is very heartwarming. It took
me back in time when I had to explain to my then
two year old daughter why her daddy was gone.
Your poem showed the love and sweetness between parent and child. Well done!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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Thanks for your review, it's a sad time when one has to do this
Comment from pharp
Great poem!! it displays a deep love that a father has for his son. A spoken promise to a son to declare that he will always be in his son life. I really enjoyed this poem, thanks for sharing./peh
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
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Great poem!! it displays a deep love that a father has for his son. A spoken promise to a son to declare that he will always be in his son life. I really enjoyed this poem, thanks for sharing./peh
Comment Written 20-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
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Thank you for your review,i'm pleased you enjoyed it and understood it,cheers, Bill
Comment from Pam (respa)
- Very nicely written and heartfelt.
-The reader can feel what the pain must be for the son.
-However, the father is so comforting and expresses his love so the son definitely understands that he won't be left alone.
-The first two lines are so sad, but most of the rest of the poem is the father responding so lovingly to this boy.
-One very minor correction: "and you wont lose me" (won't)
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2015
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- Very nicely written and heartfelt.
-The reader can feel what the pain must be for the son.
-However, the father is so comforting and expresses his love so the son definitely understands that he won't be left alone.
-The first two lines are so sad, but most of the rest of the poem is the father responding so lovingly to this boy.
-One very minor correction: "and you wont lose me" (won't)
Comment Written 16-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2015
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thnx you described this beautifully
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You are welcome.
Comment from patcelaw
This is a powerful poem of the need of a son, and for a daughter I might add, to have a father in their life is so important. After a divorce the parents should come together in harmony for the sake of the children so the kids have the best of both parents. Good post, Patricia
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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This is a powerful poem of the need of a son, and for a daughter I might add, to have a father in their life is so important. After a divorce the parents should come together in harmony for the sake of the children so the kids have the best of both parents. Good post, Patricia
Comment Written 16-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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I agree with your comments, but in the raw stage of divorce it's not always so until a child demands this
Comment from meggie13
Divorce is heart breaking for children. It is of great importance that both parents get involved in his life. The son needs a male influence in his growing years. It is well written with a good message.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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Divorce is heart breaking for children. It is of great importance that both parents get involved in his life. The son needs a male influence in his growing years. It is well written with a good message.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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thnx, you got it in one
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You are welcome.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This is a good message for anyone who experiences the pain of divorce and also has small children. The poem had good flow, and the repeated line was used effectively.
I would add an ' in the word wont [won't] 4th line 2nd verse.
Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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This is a good message for anyone who experiences the pain of divorce and also has small children. The poem had good flow, and the repeated line was used effectively.
I would add an ' in the word wont [won't] 4th line 2nd verse.
Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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thnx very much
Comment from Erys
Every event would happen in the life of a parent, these do not need to separate him from a child. This promise strengthens it and certainly this will make the child feel safe and loved. A poem full of core.
All the best!
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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Every event would happen in the life of a parent, these do not need to separate him from a child. This promise strengthens it and certainly this will make the child feel safe and loved. A poem full of core.
All the best!
Comment Written 14-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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thnx for your comment
Comment from lalajovanoski
This is a great contest entry. Very well composed and such a nice, deep and thought provoking message. Nicely written. Thank you very much for sharing this.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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This is a great contest entry. Very well composed and such a nice, deep and thought provoking message. Nicely written. Thank you very much for sharing this.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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You are very welcome and thnx for your kind comments
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I think this is well done. I think the information on your notes would make this even stronger if part of your poem. Dialogue might be one way to accomplish this. That being said you paint a strong image here of a father and son together. Well done.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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I think this is well done. I think the information on your notes would make this even stronger if part of your poem. Dialogue might be one way to accomplish this. That being said you paint a strong image here of a father and son together. Well done.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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thnx for your input
Comment from bayforesthimankush
Yes, it happens more often now a broken home, a broken marriage, and a broken child. But for the sake of child the promise of a father to support his son is excellent example. A child life is to enjoy and is to hope for future. The promise of a father to his son gives the boy his life back.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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Yes, it happens more often now a broken home, a broken marriage, and a broken child. But for the sake of child the promise of a father to support his son is excellent example. A child life is to enjoy and is to hope for future. The promise of a father to his son gives the boy his life back.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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You describe my thoughts very well, I enjoy the response when a fellow poet/person interprets exactly the message of my writings, thank you
