If All Are Zealots...
free verse10 total reviews
Comment from patcelaw
Very nicely presented and written this abecedarian poem.
courage came to categorize me
This line of your poem speak to who I am as I have had to have a lot of courage in my life. Patricia
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Very nicely presented and written this abecedarian poem.
courage came to categorize me
This line of your poem speak to who I am as I have had to have a lot of courage in my life. Patricia
Comment Written 15-Apr-2015
Comment from dragonpoet
The form adds emotion because the indented lines show the persons feelings.
It seems like you are saying the zealot doesn't really understand what he is doing that he is only doing it because he wants some notice. There really is no justice or religion in being a zealot which is one step away from being a terrorist.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
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The form adds emotion because the indented lines show the persons feelings.
It seems like you are saying the zealot doesn't really understand what he is doing that he is only doing it because he wants some notice. There really is no justice or religion in being a zealot which is one step away from being a terrorist.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 14-Apr-2015
Comment from stephybs
This is a real well thought up and well written piece. Your choice of colour and art work match very nicely . Great line flow and play on words. Excellent! Stephanie
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This is a real well thought up and well written piece. Your choice of colour and art work match very nicely . Great line flow and play on words. Excellent! Stephanie
Comment Written 13-Apr-2015
Comment from jeannaprentice
Well it does fit the form that it is supposed to be in. I am not sure if the way it appears with lines kind of scattered is the way it is supposed to appear. It kind of made it hard to read in a way. I still really didn't understand what the poem's topic was. As far as word choice goes, I applaude you for going above and beyond by using words that most people don't use in their writing.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2015
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Well it does fit the form that it is supposed to be in. I am not sure if the way it appears with lines kind of scattered is the way it is supposed to appear. It kind of made it hard to read in a way. I still really didn't understand what the poem's topic was. As far as word choice goes, I applaude you for going above and beyond by using words that most people don't use in their writing.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2015
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The layout is common in free verse poetry. It serves to emphasis particular lines or set them apart in certain ways. Not sure which words aren't commonly used. :)
Appreciate your candor, but if you have suggestions for improvement they would be welcome.
Sorry this missed the mark for you. Thanks for taking a look.
Comment from lancellot
It sounds good, Mikey. I'm not sure what you're saying accept the world and people are confusing. Great presentation and it will make the reader think. Well done
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It sounds good, Mikey. I'm not sure what you're saying accept the world and people are confusing. Great presentation and it will make the reader think. Well done
Comment Written 13-Apr-2015
Comment from bayforesthimankush
The poem maintains the contest requirement of 26 letters in sequence of 26 lines. Be an enthusiast, be brave, and be a believer is the message of the poem. All should be zealots.
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The poem maintains the contest requirement of 26 letters in sequence of 26 lines. Be an enthusiast, be brave, and be a believer is the message of the poem. All should be zealots.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2015
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Picture added depth to this poem. Poem flowed well. Liked the use of all letters in a row. Held interest throughout. Write on.
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Picture added depth to this poem. Poem flowed well. Liked the use of all letters in a row. Held interest throughout. Write on.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2015
Comment from Bill Schott
This abecedarian really uses the format to make an interesting story line for the narrator, making his way from justification to realization.
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This abecedarian really uses the format to make an interesting story line for the narrator, making his way from justification to realization.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2015
Comment from rama devi
Outstanding free verse Abrecadarian. this sounds to me like Les--did I guess right? Let me know after the contest ends). Of all the entries I've read this far, this one is the most seamless, fluid and original. Bravo. A likely contender for my vote.
I applaud your skill in using line breaks and spacing to sculpt phrasing and cadence as well as augment dramatic impact of certain lines.
The content and meaning are deeply reflective and thought provoking...layered and nuanced. Bravo!
Also, fine smattering of poetic devices, like alliteration and annoyance of C and B here as well as alliteration S and F:
courage came to categorize me
death scared me so
escape simulated assault
fighting back stemmed from blind fear
gratitude became the numb kudos tendered
how the heartfelt blanket covered me
I did not see irony in cowardice run amok (POTENT LINE!)
Great personification:
justice peeks from under a garish patch
knighted by a serf's sword
lest the lord of the land tire
Unique imagery and I LOVE this:
my true nature reflects off ice cubes
nestled in a needed libation
only the cheers are missing from this celebration
Well voiced (and great alliteration and consonance of P and M):
prom kings look foolish in parades,
queens are what the scrapbook begs for
recollections of manufactured moments
spontaneity carefully planned
Brilliant irony:
this is when that happened
understanding that it didn't happen at all
Good original use of the X line:
X is my signature and legacy
Potent closing note (and fine alliteration and consonance of R):
yearning for true meaning remains a
zealot's cotton candy dream in the rain
Kudos...a six!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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Outstanding free verse Abrecadarian. this sounds to me like Les--did I guess right? Let me know after the contest ends). Of all the entries I've read this far, this one is the most seamless, fluid and original. Bravo. A likely contender for my vote.
I applaud your skill in using line breaks and spacing to sculpt phrasing and cadence as well as augment dramatic impact of certain lines.
The content and meaning are deeply reflective and thought provoking...layered and nuanced. Bravo!
Also, fine smattering of poetic devices, like alliteration and annoyance of C and B here as well as alliteration S and F:
courage came to categorize me
death scared me so
escape simulated assault
fighting back stemmed from blind fear
gratitude became the numb kudos tendered
how the heartfelt blanket covered me
I did not see irony in cowardice run amok (POTENT LINE!)
Great personification:
justice peeks from under a garish patch
knighted by a serf's sword
lest the lord of the land tire
Unique imagery and I LOVE this:
my true nature reflects off ice cubes
nestled in a needed libation
only the cheers are missing from this celebration
Well voiced (and great alliteration and consonance of P and M):
prom kings look foolish in parades,
queens are what the scrapbook begs for
recollections of manufactured moments
spontaneity carefully planned
Brilliant irony:
this is when that happened
understanding that it didn't happen at all
Good original use of the X line:
X is my signature and legacy
Potent closing note (and fine alliteration and consonance of R):
yearning for true meaning remains a
zealot's cotton candy dream in the rain
Kudos...a six!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 13-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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I'm delighted you think I'm Les!!! That is a wonderful compliment. Nope. What a wonderful review. I usually write more Fanstory friendly fare, but I just had to write something that appealed to me for a change. That usually gets me a lot of, "I don't get it's". But then, it only takes one super encouraging, "I do get it" like this and it is all worthwhile. Thank you so very much. This is bound to be the highlight of the year for me. :))
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Ah yes--Les is one of the best. I'm so pleased this was you, Mikey...so glad I stumbled onto it, as the last few times I visit your page it was prose, and I did not have the time and focus for reviewing a longer prose piece in those moments.
Thanks for the warm smiles your gracious response brings me!
Warmly, rd
Comment from Day Z Chayn
Seems to remind me of a singular historical event viz; the assassination of Austrian Duke Ferdinand, by none other than Galvario Princip, a Serb belonging to a group referred to as the 'Black Hand.' This signaled the start of The Great War, a.k.a. World War One.
On a lighter note, it seems to be entirely possible that while reading this poem, one may also find themselves reliving the events of November 23, 1963, the day President John F. Kennedy was shot.
Those in power may choose to hide behind a gun, a badge, a bed sheet, a cleric's or judge's, or an infinite number of guises, though the identity of 'zealots' may persist to remain an enigma, even unto themselves, along with their detractors.
Blessings,
Shane
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2015
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Seems to remind me of a singular historical event viz; the assassination of Austrian Duke Ferdinand, by none other than Galvario Princip, a Serb belonging to a group referred to as the 'Black Hand.' This signaled the start of The Great War, a.k.a. World War One.
On a lighter note, it seems to be entirely possible that while reading this poem, one may also find themselves reliving the events of November 23, 1963, the day President John F. Kennedy was shot.
Those in power may choose to hide behind a gun, a badge, a bed sheet, a cleric's or judge's, or an infinite number of guises, though the identity of 'zealots' may persist to remain an enigma, even unto themselves, along with their detractors.
Blessings,
Shane
Comment Written 13-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2015
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I appreciate the insights. I did have some of those things in mind as this occurred to me. JFk and his brother, Bobby, were high on my list of names of those who were willing to stand alone apart from the crowd. Thank you. anon
