Reflections Of Color
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "South On Sixty-Five"A collection of my All-Time Best rated song lyrics
45 total reviews
Comment from amahra
I love country music and know country lyrics when I hear, or in this case, read them. Country pulls no punches when it deals with real life; and these lyrics are very heart-felt. I hope you don't mind; I made up a little tune as I sang it in my mind. No. I'm not a composer LOL. I just did it for me.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015
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I love country music and know country lyrics when I hear, or in this case, read them. Country pulls no punches when it deals with real life; and these lyrics are very heart-felt. I hope you don't mind; I made up a little tune as I sang it in my mind. No. I'm not a composer LOL. I just did it for me.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015
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Thanks for your comments and continued support. Appreciate them very much.
Comment from Neonewman
I'm sorry about the rating, it just seemed a bit forced to me at times and somewhat out of meter. The first two stanza's failed to rhyme for me, maybe this was your intention. I love country music and look forward to reviewing your all time best 5.
I believe with a little re-write or editing that this one might reach the all time best status as well.
Just didn't work for me as is.
God bless!
Steve
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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I'm sorry about the rating, it just seemed a bit forced to me at times and somewhat out of meter. The first two stanza's failed to rhyme for me, maybe this was your intention. I love country music and look forward to reviewing your all time best 5.
I believe with a little re-write or editing that this one might reach the all time best status as well.
Just didn't work for me as is.
God bless!
Steve
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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It already has as of tonight's update from FanStory but thanks for your comments. I am confused though how does "Heading south on sixty-five, can't believe I'm still alive, gotta find a way to get you off my mind" not rhyme with" I've been up and down these roads, where I'm goin' I don't know. Gotta find a way to get you off my mind"? It is a soft rhyme, not a hard one. Could you possibly elaborate on that for me for a spell? Help me clear my confusion about that up. I do appreciate your comments very much though. I learned a long time ago when it comes to writing something you can't please everybody, some times myself included. So, definitely no offense taken. Happy to hear you will read them. I have many more headed your way too. So, stay tuned.
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Soft rhymes are harder to control on paper. I would imagine that when sung with a southern accent, one could hear the rhyme more clearly. Believe me, I have had my fair share of painful reviews. I take them and grow or I simply let them go. It is what it is. Never take them to heart, there is usually a little inspiration to be found with every word spoken. I just commented on the Buckle, I could hear this one playing on the radio today. Smooth flow leading to the end.
God bless!
Steve
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And that is why the rating system of this site and I are not at 100 percent agreement. I find it very difficult to read something subjectively and have to rate it objectively. And, why I do not worry about stars. BIG DEAL!!!! WHO CARES!!!!! I write for my own enjoyment and I share that with others. As, I said I learned a long time ago, and sending more than 6,000 copies of a monthly newsletter for my extremely popular classiccountrymusicgoldnashville.com website proved to me not everybody is going to like what I write all the time. And as I said, that includes me as well. Stay tuned. Tomorrow's Country music lyrics I am going to post I have always considered my all-time very best and my pride and joy. I call them No Such Thing As Angels. Be interesting to see if others agree with me about that one.
Comment from artemis53
Definitely Country. Lost or cheating loves and instead of horses there are 18 wheelers. "You're a memory from my lonesome past. " Yep. Just let it go and let it be.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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Definitely Country. Lost or cheating loves and instead of horses there are 18 wheelers. "You're a memory from my lonesome past. " Yep. Just let it go and let it be.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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Problem is, according to the last verse of the song, he can't seem to do that. "When loneliness takes hold of you, and there's nothing else that you can do, pick up the phone and let me hear from you". Appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from Eternal Muse
I just lived these song lyrics! Like I was listening to a song while driving, and enjoyed beautiful scenery, similar to your picture.
How great were these:
Headin' South on Sixty-Five.
Can't believe I'm still alive.
Gotta find a way to get you off my mind.
I've been up and down these roads.
Where I'm goin' I don't know.
I see your face on every highway sign.
Loved your country dialect, the whole thing was was just a delight!
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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I just lived these song lyrics! Like I was listening to a song while driving, and enjoyed beautiful scenery, similar to your picture.
How great were these:
Headin' South on Sixty-Five.
Can't believe I'm still alive.
Gotta find a way to get you off my mind.
I've been up and down these roads.
Where I'm goin' I don't know.
I see your face on every highway sign.
Loved your country dialect, the whole thing was was just a delight!
Comment Written 25-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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Thank you very much for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much.
Comment from GE Parson
Hey there Truck Driving Man!
Been awhile since you posted anything. I like this one you posted.
I'm an old country music fan. After the 50's country music took on a mixture of country & rock n roll sound.
I took some of tho old county music and wrote Gospel lyrics
to the country tunes.
I'm C/P a truck driving song I composed to the sounds of that Hot Rod something song.
Blessings
G.E. Parson
Keep scowling down
This is a series of this Grampa's life's expediences. 99% of them true, but all of them exaggerated for humor sake.
GRAMPA THE TRUCK DRIVER MAN
AND BIG STAN
Grampa was a truck driving man
A-hauling freight,
They were slow unloading one night
And so he had little wait.
The truck driving men got to talking
'bout places dangerous and rough,
About a certain caf© that was really tough.
And warned Grampa to stay away.
Well 'ol Grampa got hungry one night,
And he wasn't afraid, he knew how to fight.
So Grampa drove over to that cafe to get a bite to eat
As he walked to the back to take seat,
He had to admit there was a lot wild looking
Men and women talking & cursing loud.
For three o'clock in the morning,
there was an unusual big crowd.
As tough 'ol Grampa walked across the floor,
Bumping drunken bodies of humanity galore,
He was minding his own business, keeping alert,
Just wanting to eat, didn't want to get hurt.
Suddenly he accidentally pumped a giant of a man,
Whom he learned later was known as BIG STAN!
He looked at little Grampa with cruel hate,
Grampa quickly apologized, but it was too late.
With snarling lips and a hands with vise-like grip,
He grabbed Grampa by his throat,
And lifted him right out of his coat,
Then with the speed of a rocket,
He pulled a big black RAZOR out of his pocket,
the biggest RAZOR ever made.
Grampa knew for sure he he would soon be daid.
Now the only reason Grampa is alive today
To tell this story at all was because the.....
RAZOR......ELECTRIC CHORD WAS TOO SHORT
TO REACH THE OUTLET IN THE WALL!!!
Yeah, too short to reach the outlet in the wall.
* * * * * * * * * *
And you've just been spoofed by another
Silly Grampa story
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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Hey there Truck Driving Man!
Been awhile since you posted anything. I like this one you posted.
I'm an old country music fan. After the 50's country music took on a mixture of country & rock n roll sound.
I took some of tho old county music and wrote Gospel lyrics
to the country tunes.
I'm C/P a truck driving song I composed to the sounds of that Hot Rod something song.
Blessings
G.E. Parson
Keep scowling down
This is a series of this Grampa's life's expediences. 99% of them true, but all of them exaggerated for humor sake.
GRAMPA THE TRUCK DRIVER MAN
AND BIG STAN
Grampa was a truck driving man
A-hauling freight,
They were slow unloading one night
And so he had little wait.
The truck driving men got to talking
'bout places dangerous and rough,
About a certain caf© that was really tough.
And warned Grampa to stay away.
Well 'ol Grampa got hungry one night,
And he wasn't afraid, he knew how to fight.
So Grampa drove over to that cafe to get a bite to eat
As he walked to the back to take seat,
He had to admit there was a lot wild looking
Men and women talking & cursing loud.
For three o'clock in the morning,
there was an unusual big crowd.
As tough 'ol Grampa walked across the floor,
Bumping drunken bodies of humanity galore,
He was minding his own business, keeping alert,
Just wanting to eat, didn't want to get hurt.
Suddenly he accidentally pumped a giant of a man,
Whom he learned later was known as BIG STAN!
He looked at little Grampa with cruel hate,
Grampa quickly apologized, but it was too late.
With snarling lips and a hands with vise-like grip,
He grabbed Grampa by his throat,
And lifted him right out of his coat,
Then with the speed of a rocket,
He pulled a big black RAZOR out of his pocket,
the biggest RAZOR ever made.
Grampa knew for sure he he would soon be daid.
Now the only reason Grampa is alive today
To tell this story at all was because the.....
RAZOR......ELECTRIC CHORD WAS TOO SHORT
TO REACH THE OUTLET IN THE WALL!!!
Yeah, too short to reach the outlet in the wall.
* * * * * * * * * *
And you've just been spoofed by another
Silly Grampa story
Comment Written 25-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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That is okay with me. Spoof all my lyrics. I can stand some humor. Besides, that is when you know as a Songwriter that you succeeded in writing a good lyric. I appreciate your comments and support. I really do. Sorry you missed me but since you've been away I now have 6 All Time Best Country music lyrics, and 1 All Time Best Christian lyrics, posted on this site with many more to come. Stay tuned!
Comment from Free_Roxanne
Brett, I can see and feel your writing as if I were there with you, and want to follow you on this site. What an emotional poem and the visions it creates in my mind are actually right here in the room where I sit. I have to read a book of poetry by you, and know it will be in the near future. I like this country-western feeling, a down-to-earth universal feeling. Believe me, I am so appreciative of writers that really know how to write. Keep it up. Excellent! No criticism here
Free_Roxanne
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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Brett, I can see and feel your writing as if I were there with you, and want to follow you on this site. What an emotional poem and the visions it creates in my mind are actually right here in the room where I sit. I have to read a book of poetry by you, and know it will be in the near future. I like this country-western feeling, a down-to-earth universal feeling. Believe me, I am so appreciative of writers that really know how to write. Keep it up. Excellent! No criticism here
Free_Roxanne
Comment Written 25-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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Thank you for your wonderful comments and support. Appreciate them very much. You all keep supporting my lyrics like you are and I promise I will publish them into a book.
Comment from Janet7053
Wow, Brett...Hearty refutation to the one who's done you wrong. Isn't it real love that can't leave things go; wants to amend, wants to make things right? Even though hurt, the person leaves the door open. Ever stop to think why that is? I believe it is the part of our spirit that pursues reconciliation, just as Christ reconciled us to God. We are not wimps, gluttons for punishment as some may think. We are warriors for reconciliation.
One textual suggestion...It should say "but we can't leave well enough alone." Having can't and not in the same phrase is a double negative no no.
Wonderful thought provoking lyrics.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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Wow, Brett...Hearty refutation to the one who's done you wrong. Isn't it real love that can't leave things go; wants to amend, wants to make things right? Even though hurt, the person leaves the door open. Ever stop to think why that is? I believe it is the part of our spirit that pursues reconciliation, just as Christ reconciled us to God. We are not wimps, gluttons for punishment as some may think. We are warriors for reconciliation.
One textual suggestion...It should say "but we can't leave well enough alone." Having can't and not in the same phrase is a double negative no no.
Wonderful thought provoking lyrics.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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Thanks for your comments and continued support. Always appreciate them very much.
Comment from BeasPeas
A well written story/poem-song lyric about fickle love and inability to forget or move on. I particularly like your well thought out form and rhyme scheme. The first two lines of each tercet rhyme and the last word of each two tercets rhyme with each other. Marilyn/BeasPeas
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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A well written story/poem-song lyric about fickle love and inability to forget or move on. I particularly like your well thought out form and rhyme scheme. The first two lines of each tercet rhyme and the last word of each two tercets rhyme with each other. Marilyn/BeasPeas
Comment Written 25-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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Thank you for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much.
Comment from l.raven
Hi Brett, a great song...very well thought of...poem reminds me of me...when I am lonely I drive...it seems to help...be loneliness does take a toll on someone...sooooooooo very well written...and I enjoyed reading your poem...Luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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Hi Brett, a great song...very well thought of...poem reminds me of me...when I am lonely I drive...it seems to help...be loneliness does take a toll on someone...sooooooooo very well written...and I enjoyed reading your poem...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 25-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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Thanks for your comments and your support. Appreciate them.
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you are so welcome Brett...luff xxoo
Comment from valerieellis
Another beautiful writing. I love the rhyme in this one. It was not the typical abab or aabb. The words flowed smoothly and it was easy to follow. I tend to sing your writings :) Thank you for sharing. God bless :)
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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Another beautiful writing. I love the rhyme in this one. It was not the typical abab or aabb. The words flowed smoothly and it was easy to follow. I tend to sing your writings :) Thank you for sharing. God bless :)
Comment Written 25-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
-
Thank you for your comments and continued support. Appreciate them very much.
