Inside My Head
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "The Piddler"I am what I am,my thoughts, my words,my poems
10 total reviews
Comment from skye
Humorous, filled with detail, and a subject I have never thought about before.
You made that old dog come alive, and described his gift in poetic language.
Well done, with a lot of fun.
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Humorous, filled with detail, and a subject I have never thought about before.
You made that old dog come alive, and described his gift in poetic language.
Well done, with a lot of fun.
Comment Written 03-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Thanks again Skye, it's fun to write something fun, cheers Bill
Comment from Pantygynt
I am at a loss to understand the relationship of this poem to the picture and although midly humourous the poem was ruined by poor presentation and lack of attention to detail viz.
S2 L2 spce before comma should be after comma.
S3 L1 i alone should be I. L2 I,d should be I'd x2.
S5 L2 stroll,sniff needs space after comma.
S7 L3 He,s should be He's & L4 also dirty,and.
Altogether this precludes me giving it any more than three stars. If the typos were sorted I'd be prepared to give it four stars.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
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I am at a loss to understand the relationship of this poem to the picture and although midly humourous the poem was ruined by poor presentation and lack of attention to detail viz.
S2 L2 spce before comma should be after comma.
S3 L1 i alone should be I. L2 I,d should be I'd x2.
S5 L2 stroll,sniff needs space after comma.
S7 L3 He,s should be He's & L4 also dirty,and.
Altogether this precludes me giving it any more than three stars. If the typos were sorted I'd be prepared to give it four stars.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
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thnx for comment on typos and i see your midly humourous should be mildly humourous,yes,we can all make mistakes
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Touché
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have amended poem, thnx for your help
Comment from scd41
A very funny poem. You have narrated the peeing of the dog with such vividness that made my guffaws countless. From now onwards, I would be observing the performances of dogs roaming around to judge whether it is an imposter or a worthy descendant of the master.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
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A very funny poem. You have narrated the peeing of the dog with such vividness that made my guffaws countless. From now onwards, I would be observing the performances of dogs roaming around to judge whether it is an imposter or a worthy descendant of the master.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
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thnx for your comments and reply, im pleased you see the the humour in it as ntendede
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You are welcome.
Comment from kiwijenny
Ha ha ha how do they save it and how do they mark each pole
Well,penned my friend
I see he was a European breed
He should be on the fire truck
God bless
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2015
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Ha ha ha how do they save it and how do they mark each pole
Well,penned my friend
I see he was a European breed
He should be on the fire truck
God bless
Comment Written 06-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2015
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Hi Kiwijenny,i see you like our kiwi humour,thnx for your comments
Comment from stephybs
Hahaha! This has made my day! I have just come in from watering my garden, just came in to stop for a cuppa and a p.. thought I'd Stop by for five. A came across this lovely lifting poem. Excellent stuff!. Stephybs
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2015
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Hahaha! This has made my day! I have just come in from watering my garden, just came in to stop for a cuppa and a p.. thought I'd Stop by for five. A came across this lovely lifting poem. Excellent stuff!. Stephybs
Comment Written 06-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2015
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Hi Steph,im happy my kiwi humour
has given you a grin,thnx,cheers,Bill
Comment from rspoet
A little rough in the meter and grammar. Watch the commas and apostrophes.
Good use of rhymes in aabb pattern
My own opinion is that less humor would have a bigger impact.
Not sure about the photo to poem match
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2015
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A little rough in the meter and grammar. Watch the commas and apostrophes.
Good use of rhymes in aabb pattern
My own opinion is that less humor would have a bigger impact.
Not sure about the photo to poem match
Comment Written 06-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2015
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Hi , first line depicts the picture i was hoping.I take on board your comments too, cheers,Bill
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Typo in Verse 5 "i" that should be "I" and punctuation errors in Verses 3, 5, and 7. Outside of that cute little story explaining something dogs, and everything else, do.
Write on.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
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Typo in Verse 5 "i" that should be "I" and punctuation errors in Verses 3, 5, and 7. Outside of that cute little story explaining something dogs, and everything else, do.
Write on.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
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thnx for your reply
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amended
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amended
Comment from Eric1
Hi Bill, well this is a refreshingly new attitude to the picture above, and a very hilarious poem as well, it will certainly make an impact on the judges LOL.
Great rhyming, excellent rhythm and a wonderful flow, Good luck in the contest my friend.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
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Hi Bill, well this is a refreshingly new attitude to the picture above, and a very hilarious poem as well, it will certainly make an impact on the judges LOL.
Great rhyming, excellent rhythm and a wonderful flow, Good luck in the contest my friend.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
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thnx Eric for your supportive comments
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It was my pleasure Bill
Comment from benoenose
The stray creatures are to be nurtured. The strangers are looked down in the society that we live in. The poet looks beauty in the stray dog.
Finally, he sees the creature so marvelous and ends her life. Meaning that the dog does not remain in this world to claim its living, or its existential longevity.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
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The stray creatures are to be nurtured. The strangers are looked down in the society that we live in. The poet looks beauty in the stray dog.
Finally, he sees the creature so marvelous and ends her life. Meaning that the dog does not remain in this world to claim its living, or its existential longevity.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
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thnx
Comment from royowen
A very well written and skilfully composed and crafted poem. A very work about a miscreant dog who peed on everything, post, tree, chair leg, whatever took his fancy. Well done, in great even descriptively expressive language, hilariously presented in smooth articulate language, and aabb rhyming, blessings, good luck, Roy.
Typo :- if (i)=I 2. I(,)d had no wind, and I(,)d = I'd 3.( i)=I 4. He(,)s not, He(,)s just=both He's.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
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A very well written and skilfully composed and crafted poem. A very work about a miscreant dog who peed on everything, post, tree, chair leg, whatever took his fancy. Well done, in great even descriptively expressive language, hilariously presented in smooth articulate language, and aabb rhyming, blessings, good luck, Roy.
Typo :- if (i)=I 2. I(,)d had no wind, and I(,)d = I'd 3.( i)=I 4. He(,)s not, He(,)s just=both He's.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
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thnx Roy, appreciate your comments, was a bit nervous submitting my poetry
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It was good, just watch the apostrophes' don't use commas, well done, Roy.
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amended
