The Science Fair
Young girl needing attention enters science fair project.13 total reviews
Comment from royowen
A truly lovely entry in this divergent: fan fiction contest. What a lovely ending, after the beginning in which Erica receives no mall invitations from fellow female students, and what a lovely mum, although struggling, does her best to raise and provide for her tall, slightly built daughter. Nice writing, I loved this "poor girl does well" story, expressively good, descriptively intuitive and interestingly engaging with identifiable characters, well done, Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2015
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A truly lovely entry in this divergent: fan fiction contest. What a lovely ending, after the beginning in which Erica receives no mall invitations from fellow female students, and what a lovely mum, although struggling, does her best to raise and provide for her tall, slightly built daughter. Nice writing, I loved this "poor girl does well" story, expressively good, descriptively intuitive and interestingly engaging with identifiable characters, well done, Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2015
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Thank you for your kind words. Motivating.
Write On Thank You!
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Most welcome
Comment from Jay Squires
This is a really good read, Lil (I assume). Your characters were realistic, the dialogue that helped develop them was strong and the Narrative filled in the gaps and moved the story forward. I think it had a fine ending for the young adult. That she got honorable mention gave the story a dose of reality and a mother that was loving, caring and wise, was the "voice" for the story's theme.
All-in-all, an exceptionally well written story for the young adult.
She enjoys seeing the smile on Erica's face [You lapsed into the present tense here]
"Honey this is wonderful, you've done a magnificent job." [A run-on sentence. You can't separate two complete sentences with a comma. Other punctuation is needed.]
Good work, Lil.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2015
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This is a really good read, Lil (I assume). Your characters were realistic, the dialogue that helped develop them was strong and the Narrative filled in the gaps and moved the story forward. I think it had a fine ending for the young adult. That she got honorable mention gave the story a dose of reality and a mother that was loving, caring and wise, was the "voice" for the story's theme.
All-in-all, an exceptionally well written story for the young adult.
She enjoys seeing the smile on Erica's face [You lapsed into the present tense here]
"Honey this is wonderful, you've done a magnificent job." [A run-on sentence. You can't separate two complete sentences with a comma. Other punctuation is needed.]
Good work, Lil.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2015
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Thank You. This is my first writing. I wish I didn't sleep so much in English class.
Thank you so much!!
Lil
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You are most welcome, Lil. I appreciate the "thumbs up"!
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Gunner Lil,
Interesting story, the lass may not have won the trophy, but she certainly made a mark - and has a new friend. One can but hope the friend is a true friend.
Patrick
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2015
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Hi Gunner Lil,
Interesting story, the lass may not have won the trophy, but she certainly made a mark - and has a new friend. One can but hope the friend is a true friend.
Patrick
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2015
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Thank You!! This story is my very first. I have much to learn!!!!
