Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

Your work, right down to the closing of your notes, sounds an awful lot like a regular contributor to Fanstory, who specializes in horror. Never mind. Being embalmed while alive--or aware, anyway-- sounds like a super nightmare...
Excellent.

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015

Now, just who could that be, Red? H-m-m-m-m-mmmmmmm... LOL... ;)

Seriously, my friend, this was the most horrifying nightmare I believe I've ever had, and I've had a few. The worst part about it was I could hear and see my dad weeping as he worked on my corpse, and I could hear, smell, (but thankfully not feel!), everything going on around me. Yet, I couldn't move and was completely helpless to do anything about any of it. The worst part of all is that everyone in the dream -- the mourners, my father -- all spoke like William Shakespeare. And I loathe Shakespeare, LOL!

Thanks so much again fro your outstanding review. It is appreciated. :}

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

Wow! What a nightmare. I'm surprised you got this far in your dream. When I dream of something bad I usually wake up. Your death is written quite elegantly. Just think of this the next time you get a shot from the doctor. This would be an awesome poem in the funeral home. LOL. You did a great job! Les

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015

It was the most horrifying nightmare I believe I've ever had, Les, hand down. One of the worst things about it was that was conscience and I could hear and see my dad weeping as he worked on my corpse. I could hear, smell --but thankfully not feel -- everything going on around me. Yet, I couldn't move and was completely helpless to do anything about any of it. Another part that terrified most of all was that everyone in the dream -- the mourners, my father -- all spoke like William Shakespeare. And I loathe Shakespeare, LOL!

Thanks so much again for your outstanding review, Les. It is appreciated. :}

Comment from emrpoems

Excellent

There is some kind of connection to the dead and if I were you I would not encourage this at all.
Your poem is an excellent composition and I can guess who the author happens to be.
Excellent use of abab rhymes
Fantastic presentation and strong entry in the contest
Good luck

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015

It was the most horrifying nightmare I believe I've ever had, Erica, bar none! One of the worst things about it was that was completely conscience and could hear and see my dad weeping as he worked on my corpse. I could hear, smell --but thankfully not feel -- everything going on around me. Yet, I couldn't move and was completely helpless to do anything about any of it. Another part that terrified most of all was that everyone in the dream -- the mourners, my father -- all spoke like William Shakespeare, hence the way it is written, in archaic, Old World English. I loathe Shakespeare, LOL!

Thanks so much again for your outstanding review, Erica. It is appreciated. :}

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

I have dreamt being dead, mourners filing by my coffin but to dream of being embalmed by your father while conscious of what is going on - you win. I hope I never have a nightmare to top yours. Truly chilling and your facility in ye olde English is quite impressive. Excellent poem. And now it is time for bed. Why am I suddenly afraid to go to sleep?

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015

Thank you, Ed. It was the most horrifying nightmare I believe I've ever had, hands down. One of the worst things about it was that was fully conscious and I could hear and see my dad weeping as he worked on my corpse. I could hear, smell --but thankfully not feel -- everything going on around me. Yet, I couldn't move and was completely helpless to do anything about any of it. Another part that terrified most of all was that everyone in the dream -- the mourners, my father -- all spoke like William Shakespeare. And I loathe Shakespeare, LOL!

Thanks so much again for your outstanding review, Ed, my friend. It is very much appreciated. :}

Comment from GWinterwin

Excellent

Good poem with a message that made cold chills go down my spine. Good word flow and rhyming as you tell of your worst night mare. Yes to be seamlessly helpless as the Embalmer started to do his job, would be a terrible thing.

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015

Thank you very much, GW. It was the most horrifying nightmare I believe I've ever had, my friend, hands down. One of the worst things about it was that was conscience and I could hear and see my dad weeping as he worked on my corpse. I could hear, smell --but thankfully not feel -- everything going on around me. Yet, I couldn't move and was completely helpless to do anything about any of it. Another part that terrified most of all was that everyone in the dream -- the mourners, my father -- all spoke like William Shakespeare. And I loathe Shakespeare, LOL!

Thanks so much again for your outstanding review. It is sincerely appreciated. :}

Comment from Eigle Rull

Excellent

This poem was very well written, my friend. It tells the same story as your author's notes, but in a different, more quaint way. It flows well and the rhyming is good. I enjoyed reading this poem. I think it was excellent, my friend.

Always with respect,

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015

It was the most horrifying nightmare I believe I've ever had, Eigle Rull, without exception. One of the worst things about it was that was completely conscience and I could hear and see my dad weeping as he worked on my corpse. I could hear, smell --but thankfully not feel -- everything going on around me. Yet, I couldn't move and was completely helpless to do anything about any of it. Another part that terrified most of all was that everyone in the dream -- the mourners, my father -- all spoke like William Shakespeare, hence the way in which it is written; in archaic, Old World English. But despite the way I wrote it, I really loathe Shakespeare's poetry, LOL!

Thanks so much again for your outstanding review, my friend. I sincerely appreciate it. :}

reply by Eigle Rull on 28-Mar-2015

It was indeed a scary situation, my friend. I'm glad it was not me having such a dream.

A thought came to mind while I was reading your response to my review. And keep in mind that I am simply thinking out loud here. What if it was a time in an earlier life, where it actually happened? I believe in that kind of thing. It just struck me as it might be such a recollection of a past life. Just thinking out loud. Perhaps the life was set in the old English speaking days?

It was indeed a very strong poem and although it was scary, I did enjoy reading it. Well done, my friend.

Always with respect,

reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015

Thank you! :}

Comment from amahra

Excellent

Wow, some nightmare. Never had one quite like that. Beautifully crafted poem. Great use of Old English to enhance the writing. Awesome rhyming and rhythm.

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015

It was the most horrifying nightmare I believe I've ever had, Amahra, hands down. One of the worst things about it was that was awake and fully conscience, and I I could hear and see my dad weeping as he worked on my corpse. I could hear, smell --but thankfully not feel -- everything going on around me. Yet, I couldn't move and was completely helpless to do anything about any of it. Another part that terrified most of all was that everyone in the dream -- the mourners, my father -- all spoke like William Shakespeare. And I loathe Shakespeare, LOL!

Thanks so much again for your outstanding review, my friend. It is appreciated. :}

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

Chaucer wrote in old English 13th>15th centuries. Old (early) modern English (15th to 18th centuries)
http://www.thehistoryofenglish.com/history_early_modern.html

I was very impressed with the format of your poem. Good luck in your contest.

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015

Thanks for the info, Charlie. I'll be sure to take a gander at it.

It was the most horrifying nightmare I believe I've ever had, Charlie, hands down. One of the worst things about it was that was conscience and I could hear and see my dad weeping as he worked on my corpse. I could hear, smell --but thankfully not feel -- everything going on around me. Yet, I couldn't move and was completely helpless to do anything about any of it. Another part that terrified most of all was that everyone in the dream -- the mourners, my father -- all spoke like William Shakespeare. That's why I wrote the poem the way I did. In reality, though... I loathe Shakespeare, LOL!

Thanks so much again for your outstanding review, buddy. It is appreciated. :}

reply by c_lucas on 28-Mar-2015

you're welcome.

Comment from lovepenguins1984

Excellent

Excellent work! I like how you saved the part about the father at the end as a twist. Being powerless and helpless while witnessing the pain of a loved one--definitely a horrifying thing to endure. Great job!

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015

It was the most horrifying nightmare I believe I've ever had, lovepenguins, hands down! And I have had quite a few. One of the worst things about it was that was awake and fully conscience. I could hear and see my dad weeping as he worked on my corpse. I could hear, smell --but thankfully not feel -- everything going on around me. Yet, I couldn't move and was completely helpless to do anything about any of it. Another part that terrified most of all was that everyone in the dream -- the mourners, my father -- all spoke like William Shakespeare. And I loathe Shakespeare, LOL!

Thanks so much again for your outstanding review, my friend. It is appreciated. :}

reply by lovepenguins1984 on 28-Mar-2015

No problem! The idea of your poem, something terrifying as a child, prompted me to finally write about an experience(s) I had as a kid. I can't believe I never thought to make a story out of it before. Sometimes it was a nightmare, and sometimes I was awake and had an overactive imagination, but it still stands out very vividly and was often reasons for wanting to sleep in my parents bed lol.

reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015

Sounds spooky, lovepenguins, and right up my alley. I hope I don't miss it. Perhaps you could shoot me a message when it is ready to read.

reply by lovepenguins1984 on 29-Mar-2015

sure thing

Comment from alf collier

Excellent

Hi to the unknown author. A poem that meets the prompt and is full of horror. Not an enjoyable read, but commands attention. great poem, alf

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015

It was the most horrifying nightmare I believe I've ever had, Alf, bar none! And I have had quite a few, believe me. One of the worst things about it was that was awake and fully conscience. I could hear and see my dad weeping as he worked on my corpse. I could hear, smell --but thankfully not feel -- everything going on around me. Yet, I couldn't move and was completely helpless to do anything about any of it. Another part that terrified most of all was that everyone in the dream -- the mourners, my father -- all spoke like William Shakespeare. And I loathe Shakespeare, LOL!

Thanks so much again for your outstanding review, my friend. It is appreciated. :}