Comment from
lancellot
Well it is certainly a different read and very interesting.
note:
highest order as the Ecclesiastical points out."
-space-
His self-flagellation continued until he
With love and best wishes,
Sincerely,
Eduardo Giovanni.["]
-add
"You; Francis Mendez[,]" {he} exclaimed steadying him at the same time.
I would change because of 'exclaimed'
"You; Francis Mendez." He exclaimed steadying him at the same time.
"Monsignor Giovanni, is that you sir?"
- add spaces in this section
"That's the great idea for us to reacquaint with each other in a "Lighted Environment"["], he made the quotation
-need a closing quote mark
These are a few. I think you may want to go over this a bit more.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
I can't thank you enough for the constructive notes. Editing is my weak point and I must do better. I revisit and apply the corrections every time I get one. I hope you will visit my profile and read the novel. Thanks again.
Comment from
cbat
I found your writing insightful and touching.
I have lived with a gay young man, he was my son.
Seeing and getting to know his true love was an eye opening experience. It bridged the gap between what we are taught and what the heart feels. The beauty of those two tall beautiful young men together is one of my treasured memories.
My son died because of drugs, his love suffered much.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
Thanks for your review. I feel enouraged eading your comment