Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

good dialogue that has an intense feeling as they discuss this intriguing and very dangerous aspect of the church
the dialogue imparts lots of information without its becoming a boring narrative information dump
sighing, rolling eyeballs, a spark of insanity in his eyes... - good use of nonverbal communication to enhance the spoken conversation
blood spraying and spattering, bursting intestines - seems like old times, my friend - you do love to gross me out LOL

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015

lol, thank you Brooke, and apologies if I put you off your tea :-). I've learnt loads since I first write this, and integrating world-building into dialogue and action instead of straight prose is one of the main things. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

Mike

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Exceptional

I am totally into this story. You are doing a great job. This story reminds me of the Nights of Templar. I felt like I was there watching the scene unfold.

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015

Thank you soooo much, Barbara :-). I do so love writing the action sequences that so many writers, especially fantasy ones, seem to avoid. If nothing else, it's a solid way to impart character and plot simultaneously. I'm thrilled you were caught up in it and enjoyed the read.

Mike

Comment from royowen

Excellent

A very exciting episode indeed, particularly violent episode, the characters are quite obviously antagonists, the end result is a few dead bodies and the source of the conflict is in the hands of the head of the chief of secret police, Don looks like a goner, and poor woman sent way with the scroll is now dead, well done, with this one, the characters were vividly real, the plot descriptively good, and the story designed well and absorbing, well done, blessings, Roy,

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015

Thank you, Roy :-). I enjoy writing an action sequences and seeing if I can create clear scenes without needing too much detailed description.

Mike

Comment from Tellis

Excellent

Dang it I liked that guy Don. I hope that Arran get's there in time to save him. To bad about the woman though. I enjoyed reading this excellent and well written chapter and didn't find any spags.

Tellis

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015

Thank you, my friend :-). Don is a nice guy - we'll see what becomes of him!

Mike

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

Yes, I liked this one very much. As I have said many times before, you are a genius at writing battle scenes. Your imagery is stunning and so very clear the reader feels every blow and even the pain. Great work with this one. I anxiously look forward to the next chapter.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015

Thank you, my friend :-). You know I like writing the action, so I'm thrilled you enjoy those scenes. New chapter is up now!

Mike