When Blood Collides
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Suspicion of Murder"A family's love is tested.
1 total reviews
Comment from I am Cat
Hi Shari,
So far, this is the only chapter I've had trouble following.... It seems to have more narrative than prose, and i've lost my way a lot.
Perhaps because new characters have been introduced quicker than my feeble brain are capable of remembering? Maybe i"m distracted? I don't know...
Whatever the reason, I've read the previous two or three before this, and I didn't get lost, but this one.... I'm a bit lost, so in order NOT to mess it up... I"m going to take a little break... and when I come back, I'll definitely re-read it again.
In the meantime, perhaps you might get a chance to see if anyone else had any difficulties keeping up?/ or is it just me? lol
The only typo I've found is the one following this... but I did find it pretty hard to follow. (Like I say though, I"ll definitely give it another shot) :)
"I'm a pauper now. Bev denied any deal between me and my son. She a thief and a murderer and should be in prison" (she's a thief? she is a thief?)
Cat
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
  |
Hi Shari,
So far, this is the only chapter I've had trouble following.... It seems to have more narrative than prose, and i've lost my way a lot.
Perhaps because new characters have been introduced quicker than my feeble brain are capable of remembering? Maybe i"m distracted? I don't know...
Whatever the reason, I've read the previous two or three before this, and I didn't get lost, but this one.... I'm a bit lost, so in order NOT to mess it up... I"m going to take a little break... and when I come back, I'll definitely re-read it again.
In the meantime, perhaps you might get a chance to see if anyone else had any difficulties keeping up?/ or is it just me? lol
The only typo I've found is the one following this... but I did find it pretty hard to follow. (Like I say though, I"ll definitely give it another shot) :)
"I'm a pauper now. Bev denied any deal between me and my son. She a thief and a murderer and should be in prison" (she's a thief? she is a thief?)
Cat
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
-
You're right. It's poorly written. I spent an half hour editing it and then internet explorer destroyed it, so I gave up. The important idea here is that my aunt has no source of income now except for a meager retirement check.
-
Oh wait... I NEVER said it was poorly written... just that I couldn't follow it... I would never never never even say that... no no no. Lol... don't you throw that on me girl! But... ok, now i"m with you... carry on. <3
-
Trust me. That was my own opinion. I'm my toughest critic.
Love ya,
Shari
-
Love ya back. LOL (just don't blame it on me) <3
