Sometimes Roses, Sometimes Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Our Secret Dance"A collection of sonnets
24 total reviews
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Michael,
What a beautiful poem, with super artwork. Great last two lines to tie it up with a bow on top.
Enjoyed the read. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*:*)
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Hi, Michael,
What a beautiful poem, with super artwork. Great last two lines to tie it up with a bow on top.
Enjoyed the read. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 08-Mar-2015
Comment from krys123
Mikey;
+ Near and notable alliterations "stands still"/"dance our dance".
+ The sun it's well-written and I discovered that is not an English Shakespearean sonnet but more of an American sonnet and very well done at that.
+ Rhyming is exceptional and crucial In making the rhythm flows smoothly. Each rhyming word is very contingent to the meaning and concept of each line develops rhyming that is neither forced nor labored.
+ Rhythmic cadence, tempo, timing and movement all were very helpful in making the reading smooth, clear, fluid and easy.
+ Enjambment(the running on of a thought from one line or stanza to the next without a syntactical break) used well.
+ Imagery exceptionally achieved and is distinct, expressive and vividly descriptive mostly throughout your writing and also your imagery is reflective of and emblematic an annotated commentary for love: "In blindness, we indulge our hearts desire but practical and honest is recalled The consequences rise and they are dire were called to honor--fantasy is stalled".
+ The picture shows much warmth by its colors which reflects love in a metaphorical way.
+ Why I enjoyed this sonnet that I could feel the sincere and warm feeling that brings me to your very well written piece of work. This feeling is amplified by your imagery and the choice of words that it instilled much feeling by myself.
+ Good luck in the contest Mikey and may the Lord be with you always.
Alex
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Mikey;
+ Near and notable alliterations "stands still"/"dance our dance".
+ The sun it's well-written and I discovered that is not an English Shakespearean sonnet but more of an American sonnet and very well done at that.
+ Rhyming is exceptional and crucial In making the rhythm flows smoothly. Each rhyming word is very contingent to the meaning and concept of each line develops rhyming that is neither forced nor labored.
+ Rhythmic cadence, tempo, timing and movement all were very helpful in making the reading smooth, clear, fluid and easy.
+ Enjambment(the running on of a thought from one line or stanza to the next without a syntactical break) used well.
+ Imagery exceptionally achieved and is distinct, expressive and vividly descriptive mostly throughout your writing and also your imagery is reflective of and emblematic an annotated commentary for love: "In blindness, we indulge our hearts desire but practical and honest is recalled The consequences rise and they are dire were called to honor--fantasy is stalled".
+ The picture shows much warmth by its colors which reflects love in a metaphorical way.
+ Why I enjoyed this sonnet that I could feel the sincere and warm feeling that brings me to your very well written piece of work. This feeling is amplified by your imagery and the choice of words that it instilled much feeling by myself.
+ Good luck in the contest Mikey and may the Lord be with you always.
Alex
Comment Written 08-Mar-2015
Comment from Sankey
Great poem and I loved the layout. Missing your stories mate. Just a suggestion instead of practical and honest could practicality and honesty work there?
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Great poem and I loved the layout. Missing your stories mate. Just a suggestion instead of practical and honest could practicality and honesty work there?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2015
Comment from wildkatz97
I enjoyed this brief poem. Many times I've read poetry, in and out of class. Your Dance Poem speaks beautifully of a dance meant for two that is split. It's romantic and enchantingly elegant, especially your word choice for each line! I love it!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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I enjoyed this brief poem. Many times I've read poetry, in and out of class. Your Dance Poem speaks beautifully of a dance meant for two that is split. It's romantic and enchantingly elegant, especially your word choice for each line! I love it!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2015
