Dark Covenant
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "A Race with the Moon"The Berwick Witches Series: Book One
21 total reviews
Comment from michaelcahill
For something complicated I seem to be able to jump back in easily after an absence and that's a great thing. You are able to throw in some really funny lines without breaking the realism of the story. That's a difficult trick and you pull it off with ease. I'm lucky you aren't as post crazy as I am. Even when I'm sick and buried in real world work, writing mass quantities of STUFF comes rather easy. Well, feeling better and maybe the folks I take care of are too. Don't forget to remind me if I miss something. I'm the kind of guy that NEEDS reminding. :)) mikey
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2015
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For something complicated I seem to be able to jump back in easily after an absence and that's a great thing. You are able to throw in some really funny lines without breaking the realism of the story. That's a difficult trick and you pull it off with ease. I'm lucky you aren't as post crazy as I am. Even when I'm sick and buried in real world work, writing mass quantities of STUFF comes rather easy. Well, feeling better and maybe the folks I take care of are too. Don't forget to remind me if I miss something. I'm the kind of guy that NEEDS reminding. :)) mikey
Comment Written 05-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2015
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Thanks, mikey, I'm so flattered that you went back and read a previous chapter. For a while I thought you had lost interests. Smile. But now I know you need reminding.
Comment from giraffmang
Hello there,
Another well crafted chapter to the book Dark Covenant.
The style is interesting and your writing is consistently good (I have read previous chapters).
Good scene setting and strong use of dialogue is prevalent.
Nicely done
GMG
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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Hello there,
Another well crafted chapter to the book Dark Covenant.
The style is interesting and your writing is consistently good (I have read previous chapters).
Good scene setting and strong use of dialogue is prevalent.
Nicely done
GMG
Comment Written 28-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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Thank you. Hope you got the $1.13. Smile. My four day certificate just expired. But I do appreciate you stopping by. I think I read your latest post. If I didn't...I will.
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hello Harriett,
I'm finding this tale quite compelling.
The dialogue is good and the plot quite believable.
Well done!
I've been away for several weeks visiting my parents. It's good to be back.
Have a great weekend.
Love,
Sonali :)
If another one of your spoiled brats (does) something like this
"What on earth is he doing here(?)"
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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Hello Harriett,
I'm finding this tale quite compelling.
The dialogue is good and the plot quite believable.
Well done!
I've been away for several weeks visiting my parents. It's good to be back.
Have a great weekend.
Love,
Sonali :)
If another one of your spoiled brats (does) something like this
"What on earth is he doing here(?)"
Comment Written 28-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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Thank you. Welcome back. I was wondering where you were. I was worried.
Comment from RonCraig
This was an exciting and well written chapter. I confess not in a genre I am familiar with but the quality of your writing ability crosses over category lines. I found it easy to get up to speed having jumped into the story at this point. Great job and a pleasure to read.
Only found this small item;
The dark outline of the clouds blazed against the sky with every lightning flash. The rain beat down heavily upon the window pain.(pane)
Ron
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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This was an exciting and well written chapter. I confess not in a genre I am familiar with but the quality of your writing ability crosses over category lines. I found it easy to get up to speed having jumped into the story at this point. Great job and a pleasure to read.
Only found this small item;
The dark outline of the clouds blazed against the sky with every lightning flash. The rain beat down heavily upon the window pain.(pane)
Ron
Comment Written 27-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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Oops! LOL pain. Thank you Ron. I am so delighted that you read me. I hope you continue. I find your comments and error catching so valued. Thanks for the stars.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi amahra
OK, I'm leaping into this story when it is already well along, but found it held my interest and built the tension. The requirement to have the blood of a boy, evidently NOT a member of the pack suggests there are some serious developments still to come.
Well done, a good read.
Patrick
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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Hi amahra
OK, I'm leaping into this story when it is already well along, but found it held my interest and built the tension. The requirement to have the blood of a boy, evidently NOT a member of the pack suggests there are some serious developments still to come.
Well done, a good read.
Patrick
Comment Written 27-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Patrick. So glad you took that leap. I'm pleased it held your interest.
Comment from marijmd
"You haven't a cunt's chance in dicksville." - OH yikes! LOL
They all are in such a pickle
Great chapter with high suspense building - will the cure be enough to end this war and can they accomplish it.
Happy to give you stars! great chapter.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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"You haven't a cunt's chance in dicksville." - OH yikes! LOL
They all are in such a pickle
Great chapter with high suspense building - will the cure be enough to end this war and can they accomplish it.
Happy to give you stars! great chapter.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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LOL! I got tired of "a snow ball chance in hell." So I thought I'd be creative. Thank you so much for the stars. I really wasn't expecting it. I have heads rolling in my next chapter too. Glad to see I'm not alone. Smile.
Comment from thee-name
Excellent chapter. Seen no mistakes. Writing was interesting.
Gunshots echoed across the south eastern sky of Greyscott Falls as Dex, Mattew and members of the southern pack hid behind barracks with riffles blasting.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2015
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Excellent chapter. Seen no mistakes. Writing was interesting.
Gunshots echoed across the south eastern sky of Greyscott Falls as Dex, Mattew and members of the southern pack hid behind barracks with riffles blasting.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2015
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THANK YOU.
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THANK YOU!
Comment from Writingfundimension
I'm so impressed with how you handle the action sequences in this chapter, Amahra. With the supernatural angle, it's really hard to not be pulled totally into this story, which I'm sure is good news for you LoL. Great going, my friend.
:) Bev
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2015
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I'm so impressed with how you handle the action sequences in this chapter, Amahra. With the supernatural angle, it's really hard to not be pulled totally into this story, which I'm sure is good news for you LoL. Great going, my friend.
:) Bev
Comment Written 26-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Bev.
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You're welcome, Amahra. :)
Comment from Tellis
Wow it's been a while since the last chapter and I almost had to go back and reread the previous one. This is heating up and I like your use of tension to keep the reader on edge. Great work.
Tellis
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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Wow it's been a while since the last chapter and I almost had to go back and reread the previous one. This is heating up and I like your use of tension to keep the reader on edge. Great work.
Tellis
Comment Written 25-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Tellis.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Harriett. What a wonderful, mystical-sounding write this truly is.
Your opening line is a real good intro and it just gets better from there with your action and use of images, like:
"Crane's mouth suddenly went dry; he could hardly speak. He lowered his rifle and looked around at his men who stood frozen. They lowered their firearms and began to grumble among themselves. Crane eased out from behind his truck with the barrel of his gun pointed down at the ground
Suggestion: "gun blast that whisked past Dex's head. (I think whistled would be more realistic sounding
Good job, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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Hi, Harriett. What a wonderful, mystical-sounding write this truly is.
Your opening line is a real good intro and it just gets better from there with your action and use of images, like:
"Crane's mouth suddenly went dry; he could hardly speak. He lowered his rifle and looked around at his men who stood frozen. They lowered their firearms and began to grumble among themselves. Crane eased out from behind his truck with the barrel of his gun pointed down at the ground
Suggestion: "gun blast that whisked past Dex's head. (I think whistled would be more realistic sounding
Good job, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 25-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Bob. I'm trying to do so many things at once. I just promoted my new book, The Glass Cat Eye. I haven't forgotten to read you.
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My new chapter is worth 1.18 right now. Bob
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Reading you has never been about fanstory money, Bob. I promise I'll read you soon. Smile.
