tangerine robe kneels
A riddle.66 total reviews
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Hi SisCat - I pondered this one a while before I read your author notes. Without them I didn't have a solid understanding of what you were saying to me. Once I read your notes it all fell into place though. I'm not sure on this one - it left me pondering for a while though - which is always good.
Thanks for sharing,
Maureen
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Hi SisCat - I pondered this one a while before I read your author notes. Without them I didn't have a solid understanding of what you were saying to me. Once I read your notes it all fell into place though. I'm not sure on this one - it left me pondering for a while though - which is always good.
Thanks for sharing,
Maureen
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Maureen, for your kind review. Many also made the same comment about my notes. The poem is a riddle just as the actions of terrorists are.
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Thank you, Maureen, for your kind review. Many also made the same comment about my notes. The poem is a riddle just as the actions of terrorists are.
Comment from gypsymoth
I will be honest with you, the five is due to having read the author notes. Before that, I didn't have a clue. Ater reading it all fits together, the whole horrifying story. Should a poem have to stand with author notes to be appreciated?
Gypsymoth
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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I will be honest with you, the five is due to having read the author notes. Before that, I didn't have a clue. Ater reading it all fits together, the whole horrifying story. Should a poem have to stand with author notes to be appreciated?
Gypsymoth
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Gypsymoth (I love that name!) for your kind review. I, and a lot of other reviewers, agree with you that this poem may be unable to stand on its own for now without the author notes. Here in our country the news and even people themselves sensor out the executions. If I were to say in America, "A man in an orange jumpsuit lies on a gurney with an IV in his arm," everyone would know that it was a prisoner about to be executed by lethal injection. Due to the news and the media, we all here have a frame of reference to American prisoners in orange jumpsuits. What is happening in the Middle East is so foreign and barbaric, that we sensor it out. We form a mental block and go about our day. Part of the horror I captured in my poem is when reviewers realize (due to the notes) what they are reading and they are forced for one split moment to think about the people who are dying over there.
Thank you for your review.
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Thank you, Gypsymoth (I love that name!) for your kind review. I, and a lot of other reviewers, agree with you that this poem may be unable to stand on its own for now without the author notes. Here in our country the news and even people themselves sensor out the executions. If I were to say in America, "A man in an orange jumpsuit lies on a gurney with an IV in his arm," everyone would know that it was a prisoner about to be executed by lethal injection. Due to the news and the media, we all here have a frame of reference to American prisoners in orange jumpsuits. What is happening in the Middle East is so foreign and barbaric, that we sensor it out. We form a mental block and go about our day. Part of the horror I captured in my poem is when reviewers realize (due to the notes) what they are reading and they are forced for one split moment to think about the people who are dying over there.
Thank you for your review.
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I have no dipute with the fact that this goes on as we go about our daily life. If This helps at all to get poeple to take notice, become irate, demonstrate our disgust for what's happening, then you've done more than our Govt. is doing. My hat is off
to the king of Jordon, he did as much as his small country can accomplish alone. I feel guilt when I see news of
these executions, guilt for the ambivilance of our Govt. When I learned about WWll in history, I found
it hard to believe that Hitler got as
far as he did with his atrocities. Now
history repeats, but now, those in charge choose to allow it to repeat
without enough intervention to stop it. I guess I got off on a rant. I could
have said you're right to bring this
horror to mind until we won't stand it anymore. Thanks for trying in your way.
Comment from pipersfancy
Strong statement in minimal words. Bone-chilling truth; our reality in this day is that jumpsuit orange is the new colour of a merciless death.
PF
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Strong statement in minimal words. Bone-chilling truth; our reality in this day is that jumpsuit orange is the new colour of a merciless death.
PF
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Thank you, PF, for your kind six star review. The earliest victims wore the distinctive orange robes which is the Middle East's prison garment. Now it appears that ISIS is beheading so many people that they ran out of their own traditional prison garments and started using Western orange jumpsuits as evidenced by the executions of the twenty-one Coptic Christians. When will this stop?
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Thank you, PF, for your kind six star review. The earliest victims wore the distinctive orange robes which is the Middle East's prison garment. Now it appears that ISIS is beheading so many people that they ran out of their own traditional prison garments and started using Western orange jumpsuits as evidenced by the executions of the twenty-one Coptic Christians. When will this stop?
Comment from mauial
It saddens me to hear about such horrific things being done. I like how you incorporate the contrast of what is done in the hot desert, sending chills to those watching the news in their living rooms.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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It saddens me to hear about such horrific things being done. I like how you incorporate the contrast of what is done in the hot desert, sending chills to those watching the news in their living rooms.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Thank you, mauial, for your kind review. What is done in the desert in a foreign land chills us far away in our living rooms.
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Thank you, mauial, for your kind review. What is done in the desert in a foreign land chills us far away in our living rooms.
Comment from dragonpoet
Is that a poisonous spider killing that fruit in an orange skin. It is really sad that people feel beheading others somehow furthurs their religious cause.
Without the notes I wouldn't have understood the poem.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Is that a poisonous spider killing that fruit in an orange skin. It is really sad that people feel beheading others somehow furthurs their religious cause.
Without the notes I wouldn't have understood the poem.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Thank you, dragonpoet, for your kind and thoughtful review. Many reviewers agree with you that they would not have understood the poem without the notes. I will keep writing.
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Thank you, dragonpoet, for your kind and thoughtful review. Many reviewers agree with you that they would not have understood the poem without the notes. I will keep writing.
Comment from The Death
Hi, Sis Cat.
Superb word economy in this poem! You have utilized each syllable to its fullest. Nice use of symbolism to denote how the chills of beheading get transfered from the sands to living rooms of millions of people.
tangerine robe kneels
fear casts shadow across sand
and chills living rooms
Nice use of S alliteration in line two, and excellent use of S,R consonance in all the lines. The only thing I found odd is that your poem is hard to crack if the notes are not present. In brevity forms, the words must stand on their own to deliver images or message(whatever the purpose is). You have succeeded in doing that, but it would have been optimal had you opted for some other form, IMHO. It was a pleasure reading your work.
Regards,
Anupam
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Hi, Sis Cat.
Superb word economy in this poem! You have utilized each syllable to its fullest. Nice use of symbolism to denote how the chills of beheading get transfered from the sands to living rooms of millions of people.
tangerine robe kneels
fear casts shadow across sand
and chills living rooms
Nice use of S alliteration in line two, and excellent use of S,R consonance in all the lines. The only thing I found odd is that your poem is hard to crack if the notes are not present. In brevity forms, the words must stand on their own to deliver images or message(whatever the purpose is). You have succeeded in doing that, but it would have been optimal had you opted for some other form, IMHO. It was a pleasure reading your work.
Regards,
Anupam
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Anupam, for your kind review. Yes, the poem is hard to crack without the notes. My fear is that the executions will become so prevalent (as evidenced by the executions of twenty-one Coptic Christians) that people will understand my poem without the notes.
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Thank you, Anupam, for your kind review. Yes, the poem is hard to crack without the notes. My fear is that the executions will become so prevalent (as evidenced by the executions of twenty-one Coptic Christians) that people will understand my poem without the notes.
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Thanks for your kind reply. I surely understand your concern and intention. Enjoy the day! :)
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Very astute presentation.
The spider instils immediate fear and revulsion just ads the ISIS beheadings do.
Whilst the tangerine colour represents the image we see as the victim kneels before death.
Those twelve carefully chosen words hold great power and present an image and an outcome as effectively as brutal rhetoric.
Very well done.
:-) Shirley
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Very astute presentation.
The spider instils immediate fear and revulsion just ads the ISIS beheadings do.
Whilst the tangerine colour represents the image we see as the victim kneels before death.
Those twelve carefully chosen words hold great power and present an image and an outcome as effectively as brutal rhetoric.
Very well done.
:-) Shirley
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Thank you very much, Shirley, for your kind review. In the brief video clips and photos of victims before their executions, our eyes are drawn to their stunning tangerine garments. Thanks for the review.
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Thank you very much, Shirley, for your kind review. In the brief video clips and photos of victims before their executions, our eyes are drawn to their stunning tangerine garments. Thanks for the review.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh, what a marvelous haiku, painting such a grim and horrifying picture of this despicable act. For anyone familiar with the story, it is evident in the grammatically connected, concrete images - the satori is brilliant in its simple connection to those people who watched the news.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Oh, what a marvelous haiku, painting such a grim and horrifying picture of this despicable act. For anyone familiar with the story, it is evident in the grammatically connected, concrete images - the satori is brilliant in its simple connection to those people who watched the news.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Dawn, for your kind review. Before I joined FanStory last month, I had not written a haiku in forty years. I am humbled by the reception of this haiku I wish there was no need to write. Thanks.
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Thank you, Dawn, for your kind review. Before I joined FanStory last month, I had not written a haiku in forty years. I am humbled by the reception of this haiku I wish there was no need to write. Thanks.
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You're most welcome.
Comment from Lucille Bellucci
Given the theme of the poem, the reader is then chilled by the imagery. Here is another observation: Whenever the captive is shown on TV news I notice he always appears composed and dignified. Those 21 Coptic Christians, all kneeling in a row, show a unified front in facing their deaths.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Given the theme of the poem, the reader is then chilled by the imagery. Here is another observation: Whenever the captive is shown on TV news I notice he always appears composed and dignified. Those 21 Coptic Christians, all kneeling in a row, show a unified front in facing their deaths.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Lucille, for your kind review. I wrote this haiku as news broke of the beheadings of the 21 Coptic Christians. Watching them paraded onto the beach was hard because it was like my poem multiplied by 21. Thanks.
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Thank you, Lucille, for your kind review. I wrote this haiku as news broke of the beheadings of the 21 Coptic Christians. Watching them paraded onto the beach was hard because it was like my poem multiplied by 21. Thanks.
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I emphathize. Where will it all end?
Comment from Doc Holiday
You have chilled the air with your short poem and long author notes. The spider crawling across the orange colored moon put the perfect poison touch on the entire subject matter. You have done well to help keep the terror in our hearts as these cowards come into our living rooms and across the television set screens throughout the world.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2015
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You have chilled the air with your short poem and long author notes. The spider crawling across the orange colored moon put the perfect poison touch on the entire subject matter. You have done well to help keep the terror in our hearts as these cowards come into our living rooms and across the television set screens throughout the world.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Doc Holiday, for your kind review. Yes, the poem and the events behind it chill all of us. I hope my poem help us not to forget.
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Thank you, Doc Holiday, for your kind review. Yes, the poem and the events behind it chill all of us. I hope my poem help us not to forget.
