The Kiss
Encounter in the airport terminal in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico10 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
I searched and found one of your early posts that I missed. Thank you for drawing on your experiences in Mexico and sharing these alternating rhymes in quatrains. I enjoyed your vivid images, use of alliteration and punchline. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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I searched and found one of your early posts that I missed. Thank you for drawing on your experiences in Mexico and sharing these alternating rhymes in quatrains. I enjoyed your vivid images, use of alliteration and punchline. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Joan, for a fine review. I appreciate your comments because this sour lime poem was not well received in the Kiss Poetry contest. Thank you once again.
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The contest results are so much based on statistics. Better luck next time- Joan
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Joan, what types of statistics? I am curious to know your experience with them.
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I just meant that the outcome is based on how many folks happen to read and take the time to vote on an entry and how much they were enticed by the currency offered and limited by the time period involved. There are so many extraneous variables that have to do with luck nothing to do with the quality of the work. I am always satisfied when one of my pieces receives one or two votes. Smiles- Joan
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Same here. I am happy if my contest posts receive more than one vote-my own. I play the contest gave and always bump contest entries into the top three. They may not win, but they will be reviewed by many people who may vote. Thanks for confirming my experience.
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I like your strategy and appreciate your participation. Here's to positive results in the next competition! -Joan
Comment from Cat of Letters
Hello,
A unique purrspective, as Zahir would say.
I like the Salton sea bit and the half a sour green moon sets.
It is excellent.
Best wishes, Alison
Purrs from Zahir
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2015
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Hello,
A unique purrspective, as Zahir would say.
I like the Salton sea bit and the half a sour green moon sets.
It is excellent.
Best wishes, Alison
Purrs from Zahir
Comment Written 07-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2015
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It cheers me to read your review. It came in last place in the contest, but I would rather have "a unique purrspective" than follow the crowd. Thank you for affirming my uniqeness!
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Sis Cat
When I saw the fab image you selected I did think of the more macabre ... a bitter kiss experience of the human kind. Though I love limes and my mouth did water. :) I realise as I read, you've chosen a creative and very effective path for your 'kiss' poem. A sour kiss indeed ... though a popular one.
It must have come as quite a shock to find tequila at the bottom of the cup and not limeade. lol I would have thought the same thing. Great descriptions were tantalising. Excellent rhyme and great rhythm. I've enjoyed your alliteration ... loads of it but appropriate for your poem, not over-done at all.
"Icy cold swear beads ..."
"where half of a sour green moon sets.
My hot tongue breaks through your icy
Surface and submerges to suck
your gold blood, your life, tu vida,"
Some great phrasing as exampled above. You certainly made this reader thirst for a sip from that cup. My son has been in Mexico for two months, I imagine I'l hear some tequila experiences. lol
A great entry for the contest. I just started reading the entries and have missed the vote. Well done though. Warm smiles - Lovi xoxo
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2015
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Hi Sis Cat
When I saw the fab image you selected I did think of the more macabre ... a bitter kiss experience of the human kind. Though I love limes and my mouth did water. :) I realise as I read, you've chosen a creative and very effective path for your 'kiss' poem. A sour kiss indeed ... though a popular one.
It must have come as quite a shock to find tequila at the bottom of the cup and not limeade. lol I would have thought the same thing. Great descriptions were tantalising. Excellent rhyme and great rhythm. I've enjoyed your alliteration ... loads of it but appropriate for your poem, not over-done at all.
"Icy cold swear beads ..."
"where half of a sour green moon sets.
My hot tongue breaks through your icy
Surface and submerges to suck
your gold blood, your life, tu vida,"
Some great phrasing as exampled above. You certainly made this reader thirst for a sip from that cup. My son has been in Mexico for two months, I imagine I'l hear some tequila experiences. lol
A great entry for the contest. I just started reading the entries and have missed the vote. Well done though. Warm smiles - Lovi xoxo
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2015
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Lovinia, thank you very much. It cheers my heart to read your review, especially after I came in last in the contest with just one vote--my own. Sometimes a poet has to believe in and vote for herself even when no one else does. Your review validates that I wrote a poem with wit, humor, originality, and skill. Your smile validates my craft. Thank you very much!
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Lovinia, thank you very much. It cheers my heart to read your review, especially after I came in last in the contest with just one vote--my own. Sometimes a poet has to believe in and vote for herself even when no one else does. Your review validates that I wrote a poem with wit, humor, originality, and skill. Your smile validates my craft. Thank you very much!
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Hi Sis Cat
A good poem won, though the quality of your poem was there. When I first joined FS I felt pretty defeated at first ... and we couldn't vote for our own then. lol Believe in yourself ... once you're better known writers will take more notice. I see many great poems low at the voting booths and not necessarily the best one as the winner. One can never know the mood of the voters, so take heart and shrug off the vote. I loved the humour and originality, and sometimes that gets the win .... hang in there. You have a good poetic voice which I enjoy very much! Hugs - Lovi xoxo
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Thanks for the encouragement. Sometimes voters perplex me by voting for the poem which I do not feel is the best. You are right. We do not know the mood of the voters. The best I can do is keep plugging away at my keyboard and create the best poems I can. Thanks.
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Thanks for the encouragement. Sometimes voters perplex me by voting for the poem which I do not feel is the best. You are right. We do not know the mood of the voters. The best I can do is keep plugging away at my keyboard and create the best poems I can. Thanks.
Comment from Ricky1024
Very nice and well written too.!
Heres mine!
Perect Adjective and Objective Content.
Grammar and imagery. "The Kiss?"
{A Contest Entry Dedication}
by ?
"I must so much dismiss the Kiss for If I shall resist...
"I must try hard not to cry for if I so...
"I think I will die...
"And I must not think of *you my love for now you have gone...
"So far above..
...
"But why and when shall I see..
"You again my............................................................................
"Buddy Friend?"
"My first written poem on April 1st, 2003.
"I won a beautiful , silver bowl for this!"
"I'm not here right now...
"but I am not far...
" I'm in a place...
"not far like a star...
"you'll feel this place take a moment...
"and then you will soon see...
"exactly where...
"I shall be..
{Dedicated by me and Jay to his friends in 2003}
Richard Edward Smrkovsky and my "Buddy Friend
Jason Richard Smrkovsky.
"Rest in place my only *Son...
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2015
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Very nice and well written too.!
Heres mine!
Perect Adjective and Objective Content.
Grammar and imagery. "The Kiss?"
{A Contest Entry Dedication}
by ?
"I must so much dismiss the Kiss for If I shall resist...
"I must try hard not to cry for if I so...
"I think I will die...
"And I must not think of *you my love for now you have gone...
"So far above..
...
"But why and when shall I see..
"You again my............................................................................
"Buddy Friend?"
"My first written poem on April 1st, 2003.
"I won a beautiful , silver bowl for this!"
"I'm not here right now...
"but I am not far...
" I'm in a place...
"not far like a star...
"you'll feel this place take a moment...
"and then you will soon see...
"exactly where...
"I shall be..
{Dedicated by me and Jay to his friends in 2003}
Richard Edward Smrkovsky and my "Buddy Friend
Jason Richard Smrkovsky.
"Rest in place my only *Son...
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2015
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A very nice poem. Thank you for sharing!
Comment from risktaker
Nice description of a bitter tasting kiss. I like the imagery, tone, and structure. I like the rhyme scheme and the word choice. the photo is awesome. Entertaining. thanks
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2015
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Nice description of a bitter tasting kiss. I like the imagery, tone, and structure. I like the rhyme scheme and the word choice. the photo is awesome. Entertaining. thanks
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2015
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Thank you! I had a lot of fun writing it, but it is not a kiss I am describing! ; )
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Thank you! I had a lot of fun writing it, but it is not a kiss I am describing! ; )
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Sorrry I missed it.
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sorry
Comment from CR Delport
Haha, very funny. Well, I suppose you get all kinds of kisses :) I prefer the real deal though. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Have a great day.
Christelle.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2015
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Haha, very funny. Well, I suppose you get all kinds of kisses :) I prefer the real deal though. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Have a great day.
Christelle.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2015
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Thank you for the review and the well wishes for the contest. I had a lot of fun writing this.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi,
Yes, but did you drink the water?? (*<*) Tequila was probably was the best bet.
Fun read and take on the prompt. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*:*)
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2015
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Hi,
Yes, but did you drink the water?? (*<*) Tequila was probably was the best bet.
Fun read and take on the prompt. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2015
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Thank you! I had a lot of fun writing it and drinking it. Cheers!
Comment from Irish Rain
And here I thought you were describing a woman, when all along it was a lime! Ha ha...this is cute, and original, a wonderful entry for this contest!
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2015
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And here I thought you were describing a woman, when all along it was a lime! Ha ha...this is cute, and original, a wonderful entry for this contest!
Comment Written 28-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2015
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Thank you, Irish Rain! But it is neither a woman or a lime. It is a riddle. Read closely. The answer is staring you in the face. I am glad you enjoyed it!
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Thank you, Irish Rain! But it is neither a woman or a lime. It is a riddle. Read closely. The answer is staring you in the face. I am glad you enjoyed it!
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lemonade?
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No, guess again. You are close but far.
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in a solo cup? I give up! Too clever for me!
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Solo is an American brand of plastic cups often used at parties for cocktail drinks instead of glass. As the last line says, the drink I am describing is tequila, which is served with salt and a wedge of lime on the rim. A layer of crushed ice covers the "gold blood." A fine tequila is as good as a . . .
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Right in front of me!!! As all good riddles are! Bravo!
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No, guess again. You are close but far.
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Solo is an American brand of plastic cups often used at parties for cocktail drinks instead of glass. As the last line says, the drink I am describing is tequila, which is served with salt and a wedge of lime on the rim. A layer of crushed ice covers the "gold blood." A fine tequila is as good as a . . .
Comment from adewpearl
solid use of abab rhyming
good assonance in phrases like skin so chill
vivid descriptive detail with strong sensory appeal
good alliteration in mouths met
you shift verb tense a couple of times
good consonance in icy surface and submerges to suck
love the humor in your closing :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2015
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solid use of abab rhyming
good assonance in phrases like skin so chill
vivid descriptive detail with strong sensory appeal
good alliteration in mouths met
you shift verb tense a couple of times
good consonance in icy surface and submerges to suck
love the humor in your closing :-) Brooke
Comment Written 28-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2015
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Thank you for your review and feedback! Yes, I am a verb tense shifter. I will give my poem a second look. Thanks, always!
Comment from Dawny53
Ok, I have to ask you, was there a worm in there? Bet that was one big surprise! I think this is an excellent entry, it certainly is a most interesting one! It was alot of fun to read..rather exciting actually! Good luck to you!
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2015
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Ok, I have to ask you, was there a worm in there? Bet that was one big surprise! I think this is an excellent entry, it certainly is a most interesting one! It was alot of fun to read..rather exciting actually! Good luck to you!
Comment Written 28-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2015
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I was shocked. I am a tea drinker. I did not know what the airport greeters handed me, but after I drank it I asked for seconds and thirds . . . and then bought the bottle.
