The Voice Inside Her
Dedicated to s.c.32 total reviews
Comment from Brabazon
The Voice Inside Her is a lyrical narration with an AAAA song format. The message is about a voice that has been silent despite wanting to speak out, perhaps, of wrong treatment experienced.
There is the flow, the rhythm, the spontaneous rhymes and even a refrain.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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The Voice Inside Her is a lyrical narration with an AAAA song format. The message is about a voice that has been silent despite wanting to speak out, perhaps, of wrong treatment experienced.
There is the flow, the rhythm, the spontaneous rhymes and even a refrain.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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thanks, Brabazon
jan
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Rdf----
Your choice of artwork for this piece is so spot on target for showing the inner-turmoil that the gal has going on inside of her.
Happily, she has come out on the other side, and as you say, hopefully, she will remain there.
Nicely penned and dedicated.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*:*)
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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Hi, Rdf----
Your choice of artwork for this piece is so spot on target for showing the inner-turmoil that the gal has going on inside of her.
Happily, she has come out on the other side, and as you say, hopefully, she will remain there.
Nicely penned and dedicated.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 26-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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thanks so much, Jax
jan
Comment from Delahay
I hope it is just the beginning. No one should have their inner voice stifled and kept inside forever. It does happen all too often though,
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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I hope it is just the beginning. No one should have their inner voice stifled and kept inside forever. It does happen all too often though,
Comment Written 26-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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Ward:
She is talking once in a while - much better than before.
jan
Comment from Travis64
I thought this was very well written and I am giving you six stars because I felt your emotion tugging at my heartstrings; but I also felt the hope rising in my heart when you were finally acknowledged. This is filled with some nice images as well and it flowed very well and there were times, I too, could relate. A well written piece! Well done!
~Travis64
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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I thought this was very well written and I am giving you six stars because I felt your emotion tugging at my heartstrings; but I also felt the hope rising in my heart when you were finally acknowledged. This is filled with some nice images as well and it flowed very well and there were times, I too, could relate. A well written piece! Well done!
~Travis64
Comment Written 26-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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Travis64:
The irony of your review is that this poem was not written for me or about me - at least not on the surface - but is for a young lady with whom I've been working for a while. However, one cannot someone else's pain that well unless they've been there, too.
jan
Comment from kiwijenny
Beautiful hopeful
I'm glad she found the voice in side her ...even gladder someone listened to every word...what use is a voice if you're not heard
Well penned ....
God bless
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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Beautiful hopeful
I'm glad she found the voice in side her ...even gladder someone listened to every word...what use is a voice if you're not heard
Well penned ....
God bless
Comment Written 26-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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you said it, kiwijenny
what good is a voice if it's never heard?
jan
Comment from patcelaw
This is a wonderful poem . Many of us have built walls around ourselves to keep from being hurt, it is a painful thing to have the walls come down, but in the end it is worth it as we (myself included)finally find our voice. God is good and he will help us in the process. Blessings Patricia
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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This is a wonderful poem . Many of us have built walls around ourselves to keep from being hurt, it is a painful thing to have the walls come down, but in the end it is worth it as we (myself included)finally find our voice. God is good and he will help us in the process. Blessings Patricia
Comment Written 26-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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Patricia:
I know all about the pain of building walls around you, then having the walls come down - but it is worth it in the end once we find our voice
thanks for sharing
jan
Comment from scd41
The song has a strong emotional appeal. With courage and determination, the voice which was stiffled for long could finally be heard. The expression 'The voice inside her' has been used a number of times presumably to drive home to readers her agony but it could have the opposite effect.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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The song has a strong emotional appeal. With courage and determination, the voice which was stiffled for long could finally be heard. The expression 'The voice inside her' has been used a number of times presumably to drive home to readers her agony but it could have the opposite effect.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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scd41:
I felt I had to take the chance about using the phrase "the voice inside her" repeatedly because it just kept driving itself through my being - it appears it worked for most everyone - jan
Comment from LIJ Red
Properly, you call this a song, and the repetitious parts
could be the back-up group, while the lead singer takes us
though the story...interesting..
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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Properly, you call this a song, and the repetitious parts
could be the back-up group, while the lead singer takes us
though the story...interesting..
Comment Written 26-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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thanks, LIJ Red
now I just need to get music put to it
jan
Comment from krys123
RDGRDMOM2; A little rough reading at first but I when I read it the third time I really got in with the timing and movement and cadence of the poem. I felt a grasping now for a breath before her voice clinging on to every note her voice would make: "Straining to burst out- The voice inside her". The repetition of those last four words I found very necessary to relate to that anguish she had and letting her feelings to be said. The rhyming that you used were neither forced nor strained in the rhythm is really as good as the reader wanted to be in case the time to read it clearly, easily and fluidly. I enjoyed reading this that I can see many of a person that I used to know and still do can't speak for themselves. A very strong, poignant and powerful piece of poetry. Thanks for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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RDGRDMOM2; A little rough reading at first but I when I read it the third time I really got in with the timing and movement and cadence of the poem. I felt a grasping now for a breath before her voice clinging on to every note her voice would make: "Straining to burst out- The voice inside her". The repetition of those last four words I found very necessary to relate to that anguish she had and letting her feelings to be said. The rhyming that you used were neither forced nor strained in the rhythm is really as good as the reader wanted to be in case the time to read it clearly, easily and fluidly. I enjoyed reading this that I can see many of a person that I used to know and still do can't speak for themselves. A very strong, poignant and powerful piece of poetry. Thanks for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex
Comment Written 26-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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thank you so much, Alex, for taking the time to read this until it "played" right in your head - many people would not have done the same
jan
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You are so welcome Jan. :-)
Alex
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Jan. What a beautiful and powerful piece of cleverly written poetry this is. It flows so sweetly and reads very easily. The subject matter is one that is very close to my heart and I applaud you on this one mate. Cheers and peace, Fez
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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G'day Jan. What a beautiful and powerful piece of cleverly written poetry this is. It flows so sweetly and reads very easily. The subject matter is one that is very close to my heart and I applaud you on this one mate. Cheers and peace, Fez
Comment Written 26-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2015
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Fez:
The subject matter is very near and dear to my heart, also. I believe that is why I was able to capture her pain so vividly.
jan
