The Werewolf of Wall Street
Big business -- it's a dog eat dog world out there...77 total reviews
Comment from Ridley Williams
'ello Deano,
Well, you certainly put a new twist on the "Wolf" of Wall Street! I appreciated the smooth read and story development.
Good alliterations in "demure demeanor" and "silken sensuous."
I think this could be made into a fine novel. You've ended this piece with a cliff hanger and I would love to know what happens next!
Nice work, my friend, best of luck with your entry, Bill
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
  |
'ello Deano,
Well, you certainly put a new twist on the "Wolf" of Wall Street! I appreciated the smooth read and story development.
Good alliterations in "demure demeanor" and "silken sensuous."
I think this could be made into a fine novel. You've ended this piece with a cliff hanger and I would love to know what happens next!
Nice work, my friend, best of luck with your entry, Bill
Comment Written 15-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
-
Thanks very much, Bill, and I appreciate your encouraging comments and generous rating as always. It's gettin' the crap kicked out of it in the contest currently, but it's still very early in the game.
Much obliged, my friend. :} ~Dean
Comment from RGstar
You should do well with this. The overall grammar was good in context with the you were presenting. It flowed well, unforced. Yes, it was predictable, but you went about it with an ease as if watching a film with a parallel handling.
Well done,
My six.
Rgstar
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
|
You should do well with this. The overall grammar was good in context with the you were presenting. It flowed well, unforced. Yes, it was predictable, but you went about it with an ease as if watching a film with a parallel handling.
Well done,
My six.
Rgstar
Comment Written 15-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
-
Well, Roy, is isn't doing very well in the contest currently, however I do appreciate your encouragement. I'm very glad you enjoyed the story, and I certainly appreciate the glowing comments and six star rating.
Be well, my friend. :)
~Dean
Comment from Thewriterwithnoname
Very entertaining story, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it throughout. It had an excellent flow. The snappy writing ensured that it didn't drag and the dialogue sounded natural. I'm not sure why a werewolf would have hypnotic powers, but whatever, I like it. I also liked the gothic description of the building he worked at. It's silly, but it lends a bit of clever humor to the story. I thought your reference to the Wolf of Wall Street was a little too on the nose. It's already being referenced in the title so to mention it again within the story seems like a bit too much; it crosses the realm from subtle to excessive.
One thing I noted: "A smattering of drool dribbled unnoticed down his double chin, mingling with perspiration on his already saturated shirt." I can guess that you're referring to Gleason here, but it felt unclear to me.
Good work!
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
 |
Very entertaining story, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it throughout. It had an excellent flow. The snappy writing ensured that it didn't drag and the dialogue sounded natural. I'm not sure why a werewolf would have hypnotic powers, but whatever, I like it. I also liked the gothic description of the building he worked at. It's silly, but it lends a bit of clever humor to the story. I thought your reference to the Wolf of Wall Street was a little too on the nose. It's already being referenced in the title so to mention it again within the story seems like a bit too much; it crosses the realm from subtle to excessive.
One thing I noted: "A smattering of drool dribbled unnoticed down his double chin, mingling with perspiration on his already saturated shirt." I can guess that you're referring to Gleason here, but it felt unclear to me.
Good work!
Comment Written 15-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
-
Yes, Thewriterwithnoname, you would be correct in that assumption. I'm very sorry it seemed a bit confusing and unclear, but you seemed to pick up on it okay in the end.
I added the author's notes at the behest of another reader. He'd mentioned that the movie may not be as widely seen as I'd hoped, and suggested it.
Thanks for your suggestions, opinions and review. All are greatly appreciated. ~Dean
Comment from Genya
I am so sorry I am out of sixes Dean as this great story deserved them. I loved the way Ian, so swarth and business like can just flick his fingers...so to speak, and the job is done. You know like jumping out of a window after writing the report. Then the lady downstairs.... yes, he certainly liked her scent. Brilliant story and a great entry for the contest. Horror fiction in a flash, this is just so up your street. Genya
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
|
I am so sorry I am out of sixes Dean as this great story deserved them. I loved the way Ian, so swarth and business like can just flick his fingers...so to speak, and the job is done. You know like jumping out of a window after writing the report. Then the lady downstairs.... yes, he certainly liked her scent. Brilliant story and a great entry for the contest. Horror fiction in a flash, this is just so up your street. Genya
Comment Written 15-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
-
Thanks, Genya. I am so happy you enjoyed reading it. ~Dean
Comment from Ulla
I like it insofar that it is well written. But at one point I get kind of lost. Where are you really going with this story? Well, maybe I am ignorant of the werewolf. Still the story kind of takes me in.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2015
|
I like it insofar that it is well written. But at one point I get kind of lost. Where are you really going with this story? Well, maybe I am ignorant of the werewolf. Still the story kind of takes me in.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2015
-
Thanks for sharing your honest opinions, Ulla. Where am I going with this? Well, the possibilities of a supernatural being with the powers of mind control entrenched in one of the world's largest financial institutions are as vastly endless and as abundant as the stars in the cosmos. The ramifications world-wide could spell financial collapse for a number of already struggling economies.
Thanks so much again for your review. It is appreciated. :)
Comment from robina1978
I did not now about this film. Excellent quote from Hitchcock. It is certainly a horror story and if I understand correctly about real events. You wrote this faultless. Best wishes for the contest,
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
|
I did not now about this film. Excellent quote from Hitchcock. It is certainly a horror story and if I understand correctly about real events. You wrote this faultless. Best wishes for the contest,
Comment Written 15-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
-
Thanks for your encouragement, Ine. Have a wonderful weekend. ~Dean
Comment from TheSprite
I think this sounds like a wonderful, fascinating thing to do! I have never heard of this idea -- werewolf in life/vampire in death. I like it!
I am horrified by Vlad the Impaler -- true horror at its finest!
Who doesn't love Dracula and who doesn't like a nice furry puppy to pet by the full moon? LOL!
Love that you spun Wall Street into things! Money = the other evil!
Love the writing and love the idea! Wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pen myself but would love to take it all in! :) Let me know when it's Kindle ready! ;)
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
|
I think this sounds like a wonderful, fascinating thing to do! I have never heard of this idea -- werewolf in life/vampire in death. I like it!
I am horrified by Vlad the Impaler -- true horror at its finest!
Who doesn't love Dracula and who doesn't like a nice furry puppy to pet by the full moon? LOL!
Love that you spun Wall Street into things! Money = the other evil!
Love the writing and love the idea! Wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pen myself but would love to take it all in! :) Let me know when it's Kindle ready! ;)
Comment Written 15-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
-
Thanks for the exceptional rating and wonderful comments, TheSprite. I certainly do appreciate it. And while my story isn't doing very well in the contest, the feedback from most readers has been favorable, including your own.
Thanks so much again. :)
~Dean
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Dean
Well done! I didn't know that werewolves had the power to hypnotize. Nor did I know that if you were a werewolf in life, you'd be a vampire in death. In any case, I was waiting for that "Tha-whock!" as Mr. Gleason hit the pavement. Gruesome.
I would be very interested in reading your novel. Anne Rice has vampires wrapped up, and there are so many stories about vampires. But werewolves? Not so much about those critters. I recall the 1948 movie, "Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein". Lon Chaney Jr. played Lawrence Talbot, a werewolf. Loved that movie... comedy and horror, what could be better?
Nice to read some prose from you for a change!
Thanks for sharing your endless talent.
cheers
Kimbob
|
Hi Dean
Well done! I didn't know that werewolves had the power to hypnotize. Nor did I know that if you were a werewolf in life, you'd be a vampire in death. In any case, I was waiting for that "Tha-whock!" as Mr. Gleason hit the pavement. Gruesome.
I would be very interested in reading your novel. Anne Rice has vampires wrapped up, and there are so many stories about vampires. But werewolves? Not so much about those critters. I recall the 1948 movie, "Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein". Lon Chaney Jr. played Lawrence Talbot, a werewolf. Loved that movie... comedy and horror, what could be better?
Nice to read some prose from you for a change!
Thanks for sharing your endless talent.
cheers
Kimbob
Comment Written 14-Jan-2015
Comment from K. Lorraine
I like your style... your story lines are always clearly defined. Your scenic descriptions are wonderful... your dialogue is always natural and the story moves flawlessly on its merry way. I love the way that you incorporate numerous artwork pieces into each of your entries (I can't figure out how this is done.) To be honest with you, I think that you are a natural born writer and when I come up against you in a contest, I'm quite intimidated by your talent. I did not enter this particular contest, so I'm rather at ease. As always, I liked your entry and you are at the top of the totem pole. Good luck and keep paving the way for us newbie writers who need role models such as you.
|
I like your style... your story lines are always clearly defined. Your scenic descriptions are wonderful... your dialogue is always natural and the story moves flawlessly on its merry way. I love the way that you incorporate numerous artwork pieces into each of your entries (I can't figure out how this is done.) To be honest with you, I think that you are a natural born writer and when I come up against you in a contest, I'm quite intimidated by your talent. I did not enter this particular contest, so I'm rather at ease. As always, I liked your entry and you are at the top of the totem pole. Good luck and keep paving the way for us newbie writers who need role models such as you.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2015
Comment from lancellot
Well, I don't know, Dean. In a novel with an all powerful being, it will be difficult to find a worthy adversary. There aren't many tales written with a werewolf who can control minds, or who have the use of their cursed abilities during the day while in human form. Other than senseless killing and taking what he wants this particular character isn't likable or has an agenda. The writing is good though.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
|
Well, I don't know, Dean. In a novel with an all powerful being, it will be difficult to find a worthy adversary. There aren't many tales written with a werewolf who can control minds, or who have the use of their cursed abilities during the day while in human form. Other than senseless killing and taking what he wants this particular character isn't likable or has an agenda. The writing is good though.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
-
H-m-m-m-m-m...well, opinions obviously vary as to his likability I suppose, Lance. Many have found Ian obnoxious and arrogantly cocky, but funny as well, which they claim makes him likable. besides, it's a horror story, and your characters don't have to be "likable." It doesn't work the same way in the horror genre as it does for others.
Anyhow, thank you very much for you candor and review.
~Dean
