Comment from mountainwriter49

Excellent

Good Morning, Bev

I see you've started a new book! I look forward to keeping up with this one now that I'm retired and have more time for reading. Your chapter well captures the issue of being a teenager. I think it's worse now than when we were of that age. I certainly wouldn't want to relive those years. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Ray

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2015

Congratulations on your retirement, Ray. Like you say, now you'll have time to do the things you love all you want LoL. That's great.

I appreciate you taking time to read my chapter. Your review is very encouraging, and I really appreciate that. It's a relief to know that I'm, at least, in the ballpark when it comes to the subject matter of teens and all their timely angst. It IS rough being young these days. You are so right.

Appreciate it, Ray!

Warm regards, Bev

Comment from Genya

Excellent

Thank you for sharing this part of your story. I thought it would be for Teens as the main character seems to be of that age. The story flowed really well with likeable characters. Good dialogue and the start of a really interesting story. Genya

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015

Thanks, Genya. Yes, my target audience is YA.

:) Bev

Comment from RGstar

Excellent

This seems like a filling out chapter, Bev. A nice calming f something to come. I will be hanging on to your curtails this time :)
As usual, your impeccable gift of harmonizing a scene so one becomes totally immersed , be it simple or difficult, good or evil is second to none.

Best wishes, my friend.
Good write.
RG

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2015

Hi, RG. You are right, this chapter is setting up the conflict and introduction to the character(s). More action in the next few.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing so generously. Great to hear from you!

Warm regards, Bev

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Like it a lot and I think you got a good take on the teenagers and their inter reacting. At times the story is a bit too descriptive. Take care of punctuation. There are places where words have to be omitted.
You have a good story going. Looking forward to more chapters

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2015

Thank you, Ulla.

Comment from thee-name

Excellent

Excellent chapter. Seen no mistakes. Interesting story.
I BELIEVE GOD'S WORD, THROUGH MUSIC, CAN WORK MIRACLES, MORA THOUGHT. THIS COULD END UP BEING AN AWSOME EXPERIENCE FOR FOR US BOTH.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2015

Thanks so much taking time to review and send along your generous review, T. :) Bev

reply by thee-name on 15-Jan-2015

THANK YOU!

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

I can see why this is recognised. it is a great piece of writing with a good smooth word flow.

The characters, plot and setting are all well realised with a deft hand. Good role modelling is in place for the youngsters and there is the making of a good relationship there although who will influence who is the interesting dynamic.

Good luck with the rest of it.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2015

Hi, G. Thank you so very much for your generosity and words of encouragement for this project. Your insights mean a lot to me! Warm regards, Bev

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

This work is another example of your vivid imagination at work. I wish you well at reassembling the novel directed at teenagers. I bet you heard your own parent saying "Food is a fuel, not a reward"! "Peanut" is a cute pet name" and "hurting heart" a touching description. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2015

Hi, Joan. Thank you very much for your insights and generosity in reviewing this chapter. I appreciate, as always, the specifics :)

Comment from maggieadams

Excellent

This is a hopeful piece for teens. I like the values interspersed throughout..our teens get inundated with cultural garbage, so it is nice to see a story that can make it okay for teens to have religion, care about their parents and yet have a modern problem for a friend. Great job.

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2015

Thank you so much, M. This review is not only generous but confirms what has been in my heart regarding our young people and this story. I really appreciate that confirmation. :) Bev

Comment from country ranch writer

Excellent

sometimes you just have to give the other person a way to believe in ones self. everybody needs some body and this may be a great friendship in the makings

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Jan-2015

You make a very good point, CRW. That's what I had in mind, too. Thanks so much! :) Bev

reply by country ranch writer on 14-Jan-2015

AWE

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Mara has very nice parents who trust her. Her friend may not have a stable life as Mara does, but if Mara think Jujee is okay, then she probably is... but Mara will have to be cautious. Well written chapter. I suppose there is a market for teen books that appeal to those who remain true to their faith. Times have changed SO MUCH. It's sickening.

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Jan-2015

Hi, Phyllis. Thank you for your gracious review. It's nice to get the perspective of other folks on this particular genre. I have felt the call to write for this age group for some time, and decided now is as good a time as any.

:) Bev