Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

It seems like all this wonderful alliteration doesn't tell a wonderful story. It tells that sin or temptation to sin always slithers back. It shows no hope of lasting atonement or redemption.

Congrats of the win.

Keep writing

dragonpoet

 Comment Written 24-May-2015

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reply by the author on 24-May-2015

Thanks for digging this up from the bowels of FanStory obscurity, dusting it off, and having a go of it, dragonpoet. I sincerely appreciate reviews of past posts. That let's me know you were interested enough to go digging, and that member dollars mean very little to you as it pertains to reviewing. So, thanks again, my friend, and come back anytime. My door is always open...
~Dean

reply by dragonpoet on 24-May-2015

You're welcome.

dragonpoet

Comment from bob cullen

Excellent

A deserving winner. Is there no end to your talent?

Yu are indeed a wordsmith of the highest calibre. And clever too.

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015

Thanks, Bob, you're very kind. I'm happy that you enjoyed the poem. It was definitely a challenge! ;}

~Dean

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

Tom T. Hall sang Sneaky Snake goes dancing. You chose wisely, of T,N,R,S S probably occurs most. And the lines mostly make clear sense. Excellent.

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015

Thanks, LIJ Red. I appreciate your review. Yes, 's' is one of the most used letters in the English alphabet.

Comment from Deniz22

Excellent

I think I need a bath after reading your excellent poem...no offense to you...but you really captured the serpent slithering sneakily up behind me...? Oh No!

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015

Thanks you for an excellent rating and review, Deniz. I appreciate it. :}

Comment from LoannaLois

Excellent

This is a nightmare of "Ss"...Using your horrid theme (scared hitless of snakes ), you weave a frightening situation filled with snakie possibilities...This is so well-done.

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015

Thank you very much, L.Lois, that's very kind of you to say, and I'm very pleased that you enjoyed reading my poem. It was a challenge to write, that's for sure! :)

Comment from Bobbi22

Excellent

Wow! Masterful execution of alliteration here makes this an excellent entry in the Alliteration Celebration prompt. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015

Thank you so much for that, RightPics. I'm sincerely glad that you enjoyed reading it. It was definitely a challenge, that's for sure! :}

Comment from A TARNISHED KNIGHT

Excellent

Ha I know who wrote this..It's my dark side friend..Hey this is very hard to do and you pulled it off expertly as always Good luck in the contest my friend
TK

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015

Hah, you do, do you now, TK? Well, only time will tell if you are correct. I'd never done an all alliteration poem, so I took it on as a challenge to myself to create a poem that rhymes, all beginning with an "S", and include a message in it as well. I couldn't have left well enough alone and simply written a free verse? Oh, woe is me and my love for poetry that rhymes. It will be the death of me yet, I fear...LOL :}

Thanks so much for an outstanding and encouraging review, :}

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

Although I don't care for these alliteration contests (they just as well ask you to write a tongue twister instead), I am really impressed by yours. Most use 2-3 words per line but you did a wonderful job. Good luck.
teresa

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015

Thanks, Teresa. I fully realize that too much of a good thing is sometimes bad, and alliteration is no different as it pertains to poetic devices. When used sparingly, it can be quite effective. If used excessively, well... let's just say you'll probably hear about it, especially in haiku and senryu. It's absolutely taboo there. I took this on as a challenge more than anything else, to see if I could create a rhyming, somewhat well-metered and coherent poem using words which all begin with the letter "S". There are a couple of other things where some thought went into this as well. The text, all of the first letters, snake down the page like a serpent. If you take all of the S's, and read down, you get "S-S-s-s-s-s-s-s-sssssss", like the hissing of a snake. That's where the idea and inspiration for this poem came from in the first place, the hissing sound a snake makes.

Thanks for an excellent and encouraging review. I sincerely appreciate your time. :}

Comment from Ben Colder

Excellent

I think you did it, poet. Each line with the same letters. Hard to do. Takes much concentration. Not sure if I could do it. Thanks for sharing. Shalom.

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015

Thank you very much for your review, Ben. As always, I appreciate the time you set aside to do so.

Comment from RYME4U

Excellent

What a sibulent poem this is. A real tongue twister, Well done and nicely presented. The snake and the "sssss" sound are well matched . You have done a great job with this contest entry.

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015

Thanks so much, RTME4U. I'm so glad that you enjoyed reading my poem. :)