Faces of the City
A make believe essay.51 total reviews
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Ric:
I think you captured all three aspects of what the class asked you
to do. You engaged me in the story from the beginning. I truly
enjoyed the story about the gentleman and his wife and know that
these kinds of conversations take place on public transportation
all the time.
thanks for sharing
jan
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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Ric:
I think you captured all three aspects of what the class asked you
to do. You engaged me in the story from the beginning. I truly
enjoyed the story about the gentleman and his wife and know that
these kinds of conversations take place on public transportation
all the time.
thanks for sharing
jan
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much, Jan, for taking time to read and comment on my essay. Your kind words, generous review, and understanding of my intentions are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from alf collier
Hi Ric Myworld. This is a very chatty and informative piece to read, for a person like me who has never visited New York. How often do we learn about other's lives in similar situations. Loved it, alf
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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Hi Ric Myworld. This is a very chatty and informative piece to read, for a person like me who has never visited New York. How often do we learn about other's lives in similar situations. Loved it, alf
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much, Alf, for taking time to read and comment on my essay. You kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. I guess that living in a big city is all about sacrifices, those I'm not willing to make. :-)
Comment from zanya
Yes it certainly 'transports ' the reader to that city throbbing with life called the 'Big Apple'- Great sense of the vibrancy of the city and its multi -faceted population together with the personal 'vignette' - well done
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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Yes it certainly 'transports ' the reader to that city throbbing with life called the 'Big Apple'- Great sense of the vibrancy of the city and its multi -faceted population together with the personal 'vignette' - well done
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much for taking time to read and comment on my essay. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from humpwhistle
Ric, I like the piece. And I liked it better when you inserted 'I' into it. The opening wasn't nearly as effective as it could have been if you injected 'I' into it.
You let several paragraphs go by without giving us a real firsthand experience.
Tell me what Ric sees and smells. Not some nebulous nobody. Really, Ric. I think you'd describe this Manhattan scene better if you put yourself into the picture.
Just a thought.
Peace, Lee
are real troopers.--troupers--the term is derived from traveling shows, not soldiers.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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Ric, I like the piece. And I liked it better when you inserted 'I' into it. The opening wasn't nearly as effective as it could have been if you injected 'I' into it.
You let several paragraphs go by without giving us a real firsthand experience.
Tell me what Ric sees and smells. Not some nebulous nobody. Really, Ric. I think you'd describe this Manhattan scene better if you put yourself into the picture.
Just a thought.
Peace, Lee
are real troopers.--troupers--the term is derived from traveling shows, not soldiers.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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You know, I see exactly what you are telling me. Dag nab it! I intentionally tried to separate me from the story. For once I wanted my thoughts and opinions not to matter, but now I can see where I messed up, thanks to you. Also, there isn't anything about cabbies or a taxi ride. That can't happen in New York. Thank you so much, Lee, for taking time to read, comment, and offer such great suggestions. Your kind kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is a very apt and fitting post that the author has created with this piece of work. I live in London and it is so similar to New York in every way. They are both sprawling metropolises and multi-cultural societies, so I can relate to much of what is in this post. Well done.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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This is a very apt and fitting post that the author has created with this piece of work. I live in London and it is so similar to New York in every way. They are both sprawling metropolises and multi-cultural societies, so I can relate to much of what is in this post. Well done.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much for taking time to read and comment on my essay. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. It was brought to my attention that I didn't include anything about cabbies or cab rides, which was a mistake, but I'm glad it isn't longer. Thanks again, Ric. :-)
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Well done and take care.
Comment from gypsycaravan
You completed your assignment quite well. The spices were incorporated into the story without it feeling forced to this reader. Your characters were well-developed and you drew out the sadness and emotion the reader just had to feel that the husband and wife now shared so little of their earlier married life. Nice work.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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You completed your assignment quite well. The spices were incorporated into the story without it feeling forced to this reader. Your characters were well-developed and you drew out the sadness and emotion the reader just had to feel that the husband and wife now shared so little of their earlier married life. Nice work.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much for taking time to read my essay. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. It was brought to my attention that I hadn't put anything about cabbies and cab rides, which was a mistake, but I'm glad the post isn't longer. Thanks, again, Ric.
Comment from GWHARGIS
Good descriptive terms. I liked how you eased the backdrop of people and then introduced the noises and smells. Good imagery throughout an the emotional tone was sound. I liked the visual interaction of the nameless main characters. Well done. Gretchen
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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Good descriptive terms. I liked how you eased the backdrop of people and then introduced the noises and smells. Good imagery throughout an the emotional tone was sound. I liked the visual interaction of the nameless main characters. Well done. Gretchen
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much, Gretchen, for taking time to read my essay. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. It was brought to my attention that I didn't say anything about the cabbies and rides, which is an obvious mistake, but I'm glad it isn't any longer. At least for Fan Story. Thanks again, Ric.
Comment from thee-name
Excellent essay. About the hustle and busel of city life. I personally would never go for.
PEOPLE HUSLE AND CHURN IN A FRENZY AS THEY PUSH ANS WADE THROUGH THE CROWD, RUSHING TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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Excellent essay. About the hustle and busel of city life. I personally would never go for.
PEOPLE HUSLE AND CHURN IN A FRENZY AS THEY PUSH ANS WADE THROUGH THE CROWD, RUSHING TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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Yes, it's a zoo of confusion, people crawling like mounds of ants. Thank you so much for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
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:-) THANK YOU!
Comment from Tellis
This story told me a lot about the city of Manhattan and I enjoyed reading this well written story. I enjoyed the mans life story also.
Tellis
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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This story told me a lot about the city of Manhattan and I enjoyed reading this well written story. I enjoyed the mans life story also.
Tellis
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much for taking time to read and comment on my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Absolutely well written.
Descriptions are easy to read and puts the reader in the piece
I can see everything you write about.
Flow is good and keeps moving from new thing to another
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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Absolutely well written.
Descriptions are easy to read and puts the reader in the piece
I can see everything you write about.
Flow is good and keeps moving from new thing to another
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much, Barb, for taking time to read my story and your comments. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
