The Luncheon
courtesy goes a long way23 total reviews
Comment from gypsycaravan
Well written story with the characters of women you hate developed well. The ending was a good one, even though not a great surprise. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
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Well written story with the characters of women you hate developed well. The ending was a good one, even though not a great surprise. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
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Wow, you didn't think such rude women writing a column on manners wasn't a surprise? Thanks for reading.
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Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. As I said, you wrote the story well, but I have read a similar one in the past so had a pretty good idea what was coming and wasn't surprised. Your writing was excellent, though.
Comment from mauial
Well the ending certainly surprised me. Who would have thought that your main characters were writer of an etiquette column. Didn't see that one coming.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
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Well the ending certainly surprised me. Who would have thought that your main characters were writer of an etiquette column. Didn't see that one coming.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
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Thanks, appreciate the read.
Comment from LIJ Red
I didn't count the words but it looks about right. The required twist at the end is present. It seems to fit the prompt and is smoothly written
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
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I didn't count the words but it looks about right. The required twist at the end is present. It seems to fit the prompt and is smoothly written
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
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I know the committee would have kicked me out if the word count didn't match. Yes, it's under the 600 word limit.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
LOL, that could very easily be a true story! They are usually the worst people to be with. You wrote this really well, the story caroused down the page nicely, and then came the surprise! I half though he was going to say they were his aunties! LOL. Good luck in the contest! xsx sandra
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
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LOL, that could very easily be a true story! They are usually the worst people to be with. You wrote this really well, the story caroused down the page nicely, and then came the surprise! I half though he was going to say they were his aunties! LOL. Good luck in the contest! xsx sandra
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
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Thanks, these old broads hand around and take on different names and personalities, but they are fun to play with.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Good ending because I never saw that one coming. Just goes to show you that some folks don't practice what they preach. A bunch of sad old bitties, with no reason to live.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
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Good ending because I never saw that one coming. Just goes to show you that some folks don't practice what they preach. A bunch of sad old bitties, with no reason to live.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
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The immaculate manager goes home and veges out in sweats. Thanks.
Comment from Genya
Well it certainly surprised me. Never expected that ending. Very well told, a great story showing these women at their worst. A very enjoyable read. Felt so sorry for the waiter..... what some of them have to put up with. Good luck in the contest with this one. It was great. Genya
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
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Well it certainly surprised me. Never expected that ending. Very well told, a great story showing these women at their worst. A very enjoyable read. Felt so sorry for the waiter..... what some of them have to put up with. Good luck in the contest with this one. It was great. Genya
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
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Tough being on the receiving ed. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hah! Now doesn't that figure. I'll admit, I sure didn't see that ending coming. It sort of sneaks up on you, like a snake in tall grass. It's very well written, and all three ladies were very believable. In fact, I think one of them must be inadvertently derived from my Aunt Bessie. The constant martini drinking one. She works for a newspaper too.
Great work, and best of luck to you in the contest. :)
~Dean
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
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Hah! Now doesn't that figure. I'll admit, I sure didn't see that ending coming. It sort of sneaks up on you, like a snake in tall grass. It's very well written, and all three ladies were very believable. In fact, I think one of them must be inadvertently derived from my Aunt Bessie. The constant martini drinking one. She works for a newspaper too.
Great work, and best of luck to you in the contest. :)
~Dean
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
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Thanks. It might very well have been your aunt coaching me as I wrote.
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Ha-ha, it was my pleasure. :)
Comment from mfowler
A good twist, surprise.
A great development of characters is at the heart of this. The girls are a riot and their erratic behaviour among themselves and service staff, drive the narrative.
Excellent prose and humour on display in this entry. You should poll well. Good luck.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
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A good twist, surprise.
A great development of characters is at the heart of this. The girls are a riot and their erratic behaviour among themselves and service staff, drive the narrative.
Excellent prose and humour on display in this entry. You should poll well. Good luck.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
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Thanks very much.
Comment from adewpearl
Did you check to make sure this isn't longer than 600 words?
you set the stage and introduce your main characters well
great use of dialogue to convey the characters' personalities and attitudes
The staff kept their eye on - eyes
great surprise reveal - how ironic that these rude women write an etiquette column LOL
Brooke
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2014
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Did you check to make sure this isn't longer than 600 words?
you set the stage and introduce your main characters well
great use of dialogue to convey the characters' personalities and attitudes
The staff kept their eye on - eyes
great surprise reveal - how ironic that these rude women write an etiquette column LOL
Brooke
Comment Written 28-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2014
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Thanks for the catch, and yes, I watched the word count and have two to spare before reaching the limit.
Comment from Carole Rosa
To the author of "The Luncheon", This is a humorous short story about three old ladies, who could be my friends!! Ha! The story was well written and I enjoyed the read. However, the ending was funny, but not a surprise for me. I know people who act like that!! Carole
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2014
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To the author of "The Luncheon", This is a humorous short story about three old ladies, who could be my friends!! Ha! The story was well written and I enjoyed the read. However, the ending was funny, but not a surprise for me. I know people who act like that!! Carole
Comment Written 28-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2014
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I do too, but I'd find it odd if they wrote a column on manners. Thanks.
