Sometimes Roses, Sometimes Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Morning Glory"A collection of sonnets
78 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
You're very adept at writing sonnets, Mikey, and this one is no exception. I've found that when writing sonnets, it really seems like you have to get in touch with your kinder, gentler, romantic, almost feminine side. That's probably why I suck at writing them, heh-heh...
"But, hidden deep within your lovely wiles,
an evil poison flows in deadly stream.
Your tender blooming brings my starstruck smiles.
I cannot tell your nightmare from my dream."
Obviously, my favorite stanza in this stunning artistic piece.
Well done, and best of luck (although I find skill usually works much better in these matters).
;) ~Dean
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You're very adept at writing sonnets, Mikey, and this one is no exception. I've found that when writing sonnets, it really seems like you have to get in touch with your kinder, gentler, romantic, almost feminine side. That's probably why I suck at writing them, heh-heh...
"But, hidden deep within your lovely wiles,
an evil poison flows in deadly stream.
Your tender blooming brings my starstruck smiles.
I cannot tell your nightmare from my dream."
Obviously, my favorite stanza in this stunning artistic piece.
Well done, and best of luck (although I find skill usually works much better in these matters).
;) ~Dean
Comment Written 31-Dec-2014
Comment from seaglass
This is a really pretty tribute to the Morning glory. I did not know they are hallucinogenic and potentially lethal. Is that the seeds, flowers or leaves. The snails love them and played havoc with my vine. I plant Moon flowers with my morning glories and they take turns blooming, one in day and one at night. Four-o-clocks mix in well too, blooming in late afternoon
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This is a really pretty tribute to the Morning glory. I did not know they are hallucinogenic and potentially lethal. Is that the seeds, flowers or leaves. The snails love them and played havoc with my vine. I plant Moon flowers with my morning glories and they take turns blooming, one in day and one at night. Four-o-clocks mix in well too, blooming in late afternoon
Comment Written 31-Dec-2014
Comment from MelB
Beautiful illustration. I knew about the closing up at night, but did not know about the hallucinogenic effect or that it was lethal. Good luck in the flower sonnet contest.
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Beautiful illustration. I knew about the closing up at night, but did not know about the hallucinogenic effect or that it was lethal. Good luck in the flower sonnet contest.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
This is just about perfect. The flow is so smooth. There is nothing forced and the meaning is delicate and intelligent. The last three lines are as good as it gets. A winner!!
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This is just about perfect. The flow is so smooth. There is nothing forced and the meaning is delicate and intelligent. The last three lines are as good as it gets. A winner!!
Comment Written 31-Dec-2014
Comment from adewpearl
gorgeous presentation of your poem
excellent abab rhyming in your quatrains followed by a closing couplet
good use of consistent iambic meter and enjambment so you have strong cadence and flow
good alliteration in beauty burden and blooming brings
and consonance in hidden deep
compelling change of mood in the turn of the third quatrain
really powerful emotion in your closing couplet
Brooke
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gorgeous presentation of your poem
excellent abab rhyming in your quatrains followed by a closing couplet
good use of consistent iambic meter and enjambment so you have strong cadence and flow
good alliteration in beauty burden and blooming brings
and consonance in hidden deep
compelling change of mood in the turn of the third quatrain
really powerful emotion in your closing couplet
Brooke
Comment Written 31-Dec-2014
Comment from Eternal Muse
This is a beautiful sonnet about the humblest of flowers, Morning Glory. You pay homage to her loveliness well with your remarkable words. The picture fits like a glove for the personified image of flower/woman.
There was one spot where your iambic meter limps a bit - i.e, line two of the first stanza - "sun"s light" are two stressed words in a row, while iambics is supposed to be am unstressed unit followed by the stressed. Suggestion:
"And blossom in your splendor with the light."
Line 3 of stanza 3 seems a little overcrowded, it needs to unload a bit. One suggestion:
"Your tender blooming brings my starstruck smiles."
Your couplet was bull's eye - sharp like a hundred year-old French cheese (lol). Erotic and spicy.
A haunting work.
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This is a beautiful sonnet about the humblest of flowers, Morning Glory. You pay homage to her loveliness well with your remarkable words. The picture fits like a glove for the personified image of flower/woman.
There was one spot where your iambic meter limps a bit - i.e, line two of the first stanza - "sun"s light" are two stressed words in a row, while iambics is supposed to be am unstressed unit followed by the stressed. Suggestion:
"And blossom in your splendor with the light."
Line 3 of stanza 3 seems a little overcrowded, it needs to unload a bit. One suggestion:
"Your tender blooming brings my starstruck smiles."
Your couplet was bull's eye - sharp like a hundred year-old French cheese (lol). Erotic and spicy.
A haunting work.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2014
Comment from rjuselius
this is a beautiful flower sonnet! it successfully incorporates the flower in the body of the poem! very well-penned indeed my friend!
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
blessed holidays!
rebekka x
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this is a beautiful flower sonnet! it successfully incorporates the flower in the body of the poem! very well-penned indeed my friend!
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
blessed holidays!
rebekka x
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2014
Comment from kiwijenny
I like the morning glory ...
I never knew about the poison aspect...that would be morning gory...
Well penned...tasting sin...intrigue
God bless
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I like the morning glory ...
I never knew about the poison aspect...that would be morning gory...
Well penned...tasting sin...intrigue
God bless
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2014
