Bullied to Death
A poem about bullying59 total reviews
Comment from Selina Stambi
My dear Karen,
A powerful message. You tell the story with compassion and somberness.
Well done!
Hope you had a blessed Christmas. Happy New Year to you, my friend.
Hugs,
Sonali
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2014
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My dear Karen,
A powerful message. You tell the story with compassion and somberness.
Well done!
Hope you had a blessed Christmas. Happy New Year to you, my friend.
Hugs,
Sonali
Comment Written 31-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2014
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Thanks so much, Sonali, for your review and the high marks for this poem. Don't worry about your timing of reviews and replies. Glad you are enjoying the holidays!
Blessings to you for 2015!
Comment from Samuel Dickens
You've hit upon a very sensitive note with this one. Bullying has always been a problem, but seems to produce far more tragic results these days than it used to. I wish I knew why.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2014
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You've hit upon a very sensitive note with this one. Bullying has always been a problem, but seems to produce far more tragic results these days than it used to. I wish I knew why.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2014
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Thanks, Sam. I appreciate your review.
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Thanks, Sam. I appreciate your review.
Comment from Spitfire
This says it best. No rhyme or reason. I fault the parents too as Mama should knew he was unhappy and still did nothing. A sad, but all too true ending.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014
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This says it best. No rhyme or reason. I fault the parents too as Mama should knew he was unhappy and still did nothing. A sad, but all too true ending.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014
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Thanks so much for reviewing. Very sad what some kids have to go through.
Comment from pipersfancy
An important message in your poem, and a situation that young kids find themselves in far too often in school.
I see that you've used minimal punctuation. I'd like to make a couple of minor suggestions.
but how bad? She didn't know.
- the thoughts are connected, although it feels as though the initial thought is more an unanswered question (at this juncture) which we learn the sad answer to in the conclusion. Because it is a pivotal moment (IMHO), I'd highlight that question with a question mark.
Somebody now - that everyone knew.
- again, while the parts of this line are connected, it feels like both parts require emphasis, a stop, a pause, to allow the reader to truly reflect on the meaning of the words. For me, a comma is not a graphic enough pause, so that is why I suggest the use of the dash.
Best of luck in your contest,
PF
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014
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An important message in your poem, and a situation that young kids find themselves in far too often in school.
I see that you've used minimal punctuation. I'd like to make a couple of minor suggestions.
but how bad? She didn't know.
- the thoughts are connected, although it feels as though the initial thought is more an unanswered question (at this juncture) which we learn the sad answer to in the conclusion. Because it is a pivotal moment (IMHO), I'd highlight that question with a question mark.
Somebody now - that everyone knew.
- again, while the parts of this line are connected, it feels like both parts require emphasis, a stop, a pause, to allow the reader to truly reflect on the meaning of the words. For me, a comma is not a graphic enough pause, so that is why I suggest the use of the dash.
Best of luck in your contest,
PF
Comment Written 17-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014
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Thanks so much for your review and insightful comments. I like your suggestions, especially the question mark.
Comment from Serenity Van Halen
This really is sad, and unfortunately is a reality for many people. You wrote beautifully on the topic, which I saw first hand at my school, MPHS, in the shooting that happened there. Fortunately I was not in the room, but it is a harsh reality that has happened again in Portland just last week. You really touched base with the reader, and did an excellent job overall.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014
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This really is sad, and unfortunately is a reality for many people. You wrote beautifully on the topic, which I saw first hand at my school, MPHS, in the shooting that happened there. Fortunately I was not in the room, but it is a harsh reality that has happened again in Portland just last week. You really touched base with the reader, and did an excellent job overall.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014
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Thanks so much for reviewing. I taught for 38 years and the last ten, I often wonder if it would happen at my school. Thank goodness , it never did.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow, this is a strong poem, and so very sad. Unfortunately, it's also extremely believable. Good cadence to it, and the rhyme also works well. All the best of luck in this contest. (I loved the whole thing but that first line is my favorite.)
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014
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Wow, this is a strong poem, and so very sad. Unfortunately, it's also extremely believable. Good cadence to it, and the rhyme also works well. All the best of luck in this contest. (I loved the whole thing but that first line is my favorite.)
Comment Written 17-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014
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Thanks so much for reviewing.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Mystery Poet
A chilling story, well penned. Excellent rhythm and rhyme. So poignant, so very common. Sometimes the outcome not the same, yet as potent. The bullied one lives forever with this hurt and pain, or commits suicide. Why? I don't understand how children can be so cruel.
Excellent presentation. Good poetic technique in your rhyme ... the words selected added power to your phrasing. Enjambment also worked very well, adding to the despair and misery and the hopelessness of the final outcome. Alliteration, assonance and consonance well used to enhance the strong rhythm. A fine piece of poetry ... creates awareness ... a great entry for the contest and sure to be a contender for high placement. I wish you the best of luck. War, Regards - Lovinia xoox
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014
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Hi Mystery Poet
A chilling story, well penned. Excellent rhythm and rhyme. So poignant, so very common. Sometimes the outcome not the same, yet as potent. The bullied one lives forever with this hurt and pain, or commits suicide. Why? I don't understand how children can be so cruel.
Excellent presentation. Good poetic technique in your rhyme ... the words selected added power to your phrasing. Enjambment also worked very well, adding to the despair and misery and the hopelessness of the final outcome. Alliteration, assonance and consonance well used to enhance the strong rhythm. A fine piece of poetry ... creates awareness ... a great entry for the contest and sure to be a contender for high placement. I wish you the best of luck. War, Regards - Lovinia xoox
Comment Written 17-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014
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Thanks so much, Lovina, for your insightful review and also for the high rating. Both are greatly appreciated.
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My pleasure ... so well written. :))) Lovi xoxo
Comment from judiverse
Very powerful subject, and you did an excellent job with the ABCB rhyme pattern. This is filled with emotion and you present it in such a way as to bring that out. You tell the story of this young man who was bullied in school. Sometimes the bark can be worse than the bite. The constant name-calling was too much for this young man to endure. Things come to bad end when he decides to go on a shooting spree at school and apparently kills himself. It's too bad there are actual cases like this time, and it seems that adults don't intervene before it's too late. Best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014
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Very powerful subject, and you did an excellent job with the ABCB rhyme pattern. This is filled with emotion and you present it in such a way as to bring that out. You tell the story of this young man who was bullied in school. Sometimes the bark can be worse than the bite. The constant name-calling was too much for this young man to endure. Things come to bad end when he decides to go on a shooting spree at school and apparently kills himself. It's too bad there are actual cases like this time, and it seems that adults don't intervene before it's too late. Best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 17-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014
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Judi, thanks so much for your review and insightful comments.
Comment from alexisleech
This beautifully rhymed poem is a lesson to us all. We all say we hate bullies, but just like this boy's mum, do any of us understand when someone near us is going through their own private hell? I thought it was so sad that he ended up killing himself, and even sadder that he was pushed so hard, he took other peoples lives as well as his own. Well done, and good luck in the competition. Alexis
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014
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This beautifully rhymed poem is a lesson to us all. We all say we hate bullies, but just like this boy's mum, do any of us understand when someone near us is going through their own private hell? I thought it was so sad that he ended up killing himself, and even sadder that he was pushed so hard, he took other peoples lives as well as his own. Well done, and good luck in the competition. Alexis
Comment Written 17-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014
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Alexis, thank you so much. I appreciate your review.
Comment from Leineco
You are so right! It is so insidious. As grown-ups we think we remember
how "it's just a right of passage. . .a lesson in learning to stand up for
ourselves" - - - but times have changed, often more than we can truly
imagine. Bullying has taken giant steps past the teasing and taunting we
knew. It has gotten vicious, relentless and cruel to an inhuman level.
Where once, mom & dad worried about their son coming home with a
black eye. . .now it is their very life that is at stake.
And sometimes, horrifically, others lives as well.
I'd like to blame it on a culture of violence. . .but, in truth, I can only blame
it on a steady and constant erosion of civility and being taught empathy for
our fellow man.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014
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You are so right! It is so insidious. As grown-ups we think we remember
how "it's just a right of passage. . .a lesson in learning to stand up for
ourselves" - - - but times have changed, often more than we can truly
imagine. Bullying has taken giant steps past the teasing and taunting we
knew. It has gotten vicious, relentless and cruel to an inhuman level.
Where once, mom & dad worried about their son coming home with a
black eye. . .now it is their very life that is at stake.
And sometimes, horrifically, others lives as well.
I'd like to blame it on a culture of violence. . .but, in truth, I can only blame
it on a steady and constant erosion of civility and being taught empathy for
our fellow man.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014
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Thanks so much for your insightful review. I think you are exactly right in your comments about lack of civility and empathy for others.
