Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

I don't like the new format either. This is a great poem....yikes ...
Does your wife read these...?I'd not get her almonds for Christmas...I'm just saying:/( you do this genre so well
God bless

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014

Some of them she does, kiwijenny, but not all. She's not much of a horror fan. My two kids love the stuff I write, my 17 year old daughter especially. She wants to be a writer herself one day.

Thanks for the wonderful comments. As always, I do appreciate it. :}

~Dean

Comment from seaglass

Exceptional

This is really good, as always. Great story in poem form and describe in a way the imagination fills in so much more. If only all murder could be avenged this way.

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2014

Comment from amahra

Excellent

Another fine one my gruesome buddy. I went on classic so I wouldn't miss any words of your poem. And guess what? I just might stay. Loved the art work as usual your selection is brilliant.

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2014

Comment from rjpurdy

Exceptional

This is really brilliant Dean, but I expect no less from now. This has the taste and smell of Mr. Poe and you have done him proud. Creepy and natural. Definitely your voice which is original and authetic. This is what he hets for infidelity and hatred. HAH!

~Peace & Grace~ Rod

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014

That's right, Rod. In the end, I like to think that those who do such things get their just desserts in the end.

Thanks so much for the exceptional rating and review. :}

~Dean

reply by rjpurdy on 07-Dec-2014

My pleasure Dean, the poem is worthy.

Comment from Lighthouse Keeper

Good

I think I can read the story in its entirety, but I suppose I can't really know. It sounds solid. Well done! Fantastic dark, morbid tone throughout. I tightly knit story. Some of the flow stutters for me but not enough to overtake the atmosphere. Good one!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014

Thanks, Lighthouse Keeper. I truly appreciate your thoughts and review.

~Dean

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

The "new and imporved" (see notes)Fanstory did indeed swipe some text.
I was Binging lyrics to "Wish I was Single Again" recently
and it reminds me of this happy marriage...

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014

Thanks, LIJ Red. No matter what I try to do to correct it -- change fonts, get rid of the italicized words, etc. -- nothing seems to work. It's a black hole from which there is no escape...unless you're on FS Classic, that is. :)

Comment from Sidmarks

Exceptional

Your poem was great it had a nice rhythm and created vivid images when read. Consequently this review was the easiest I've had to write!! Well done a fantastic job! xx

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014

Thanks, Sidmarks. I'm happy to know you felt the rhythm and tempo was good. I was beginning to wonder as I'd just received a four-star rating previous to yours from a reader who said it was rather choppy. I can't see where it is "choppy", although I do switch meters a couple of times, but keep it on an even keel.

I'm also happy you noted that it was one of the easiest reviews you've had to write, that's a great compliment.

Thanks again. I am very grateful for your feedback and complimentary review.

~Dean

Comment from TAB_that's me

Exceptional

Well done Dean. I love the poisoned parasol and of course the ending - she gets the last laugh after all....ahhahaha.
Teresa

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014

Thanks, Teresa, and she certainly does! :D

~Dean

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Exceptional

As always a six for the master. I love the way you effortlessly rhyme your pieces as you spin the story and lay it open for everyone to read. Like we have been there with you. Excellently don't with flow and meter. Love to read your pieces....like singing

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2014

Comment from nor84

Excellent

I'm using the "new" format and this presented itself just fine, Dean. As usual, loved the poem. I found a couple of little punctuation nits: No need for apostrophe after "others". It's a plural, not a possessive. No need for coma after "forsaking" because it separates verb (forsaking) from its object (all others). Don't think you need a comma after "soon."

I stumbled over heads swirl. Not sure they can. Examples in dictionary point more toward a liquid: The water swirled around the drain. kept swirling her lemonade until I thought the sound of clinking ice would drive me insane. Just wanted to point that out because I stumbled there.

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2014