Fleas
A sestina40 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
Hilarious witty stream of Sestina-consiousness, my friend. Still giggling. Thus was FUN!
Lots of chuckles all along, but these especially made me grin (even without gin)...
He now realises that the sheep in the pen
Have fleas.
Shit! He can no longer pronounce 'complexity'
Instead he has a stab at it with his pen
*And(,) being a perfectly pissed poet(,)
I love how a lurid avalanche of alliteration comes when he no longer feels the flaming fleas---a perfectly pissed poet.
This was fun too:
I am the poet
And I am in control of this poem, so
Let my pen
Begin
To defeat the complexity
By splattering ink over the fleas.
This builds up with a crescendo of 'flea-frustration' until the poet blurts alliterative rants and ends with sound advice:
My advice is to begin by not writing in pen.
Ha ha ha
Six stars for originality and the complex form and the bundle of giggles.
Warm Smiles,
rd
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
  |
Hilarious witty stream of Sestina-consiousness, my friend. Still giggling. Thus was FUN!
Lots of chuckles all along, but these especially made me grin (even without gin)...
He now realises that the sheep in the pen
Have fleas.
Shit! He can no longer pronounce 'complexity'
Instead he has a stab at it with his pen
*And(,) being a perfectly pissed poet(,)
I love how a lurid avalanche of alliteration comes when he no longer feels the flaming fleas---a perfectly pissed poet.
This was fun too:
I am the poet
And I am in control of this poem, so
Let my pen
Begin
To defeat the complexity
By splattering ink over the fleas.
This builds up with a crescendo of 'flea-frustration' until the poet blurts alliterative rants and ends with sound advice:
My advice is to begin by not writing in pen.
Ha ha ha
Six stars for originality and the complex form and the bundle of giggles.
Warm Smiles,
rd
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
-
Thanks for another stellar review, rd! I have implemented your suggestion an trapped my perfectly pissed poet between two dead fleas. ;)
-
Hee hee! Thanks for more chuckles, my friend Hugs, rd
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
As I was reading your poem, I found myself scratching!!! I thought it was great, but you will never read one of these from me! Goodness me, reading your authors notes on the complexity of this style, I decided I'd give it a miss. But I take my hat off to you, well done!! :) Sandra xsx
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
 |
As I was reading your poem, I found myself scratching!!! I thought it was great, but you will never read one of these from me! Goodness me, reading your authors notes on the complexity of this style, I decided I'd give it a miss. But I take my hat off to you, well done!! :) Sandra xsx
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
-
Many thanks for your lovely review, Sandra. It sounds as if this one has engendered quite a bit of scratching around the place!
Comment from JPilcher
Complex is right!! This wouldn't have come easy to me - not whatsoever - so very well done my friend!! Love the whole comparison to fleas. That was quite creative!! It was a combination of the title & the illustration that drew me in. Overall presentation is great!! Good work!!! :) Jill P.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
|
Complex is right!! This wouldn't have come easy to me - not whatsoever - so very well done my friend!! Love the whole comparison to fleas. That was quite creative!! It was a combination of the title & the illustration that drew me in. Overall presentation is great!! Good work!!! :) Jill P.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
-
Such a nice review, Jill. Thank you so much! I don't think that I'll be making a habit of turning these ones out either!
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Tony - I've had a real good laugh at your poem and I'm going to be absolutely frank. I really enjoyed it and have great trust in its accuracy. It's late and I have neither the need nor the desire for a maths lesson. When I saw all those numbers I balked LOL. Knowing your skill as a poet I'm sure it's correct and I marvel how you could face ploughing through this number game and come up with such a good read. Very well done. Warm regards Dorothy x I'd give a 6 if I had one!!
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
|
Hi Tony - I've had a real good laugh at your poem and I'm going to be absolutely frank. I really enjoyed it and have great trust in its accuracy. It's late and I have neither the need nor the desire for a maths lesson. When I saw all those numbers I balked LOL. Knowing your skill as a poet I'm sure it's correct and I marvel how you could face ploughing through this number game and come up with such a good read. Very well done. Warm regards Dorothy x I'd give a 6 if I had one!!
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
-
I was glad that this one brought a smile! Somehow I rather doubt that the purist would find much to commend in it but the humour!
Comment from Ben Colder
Interesting concept of poetry. Must say it was scratchy in places. Other that that I think it howled.Shalom my friend. Good write
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
|
Interesting concept of poetry. Must say it was scratchy in places. Other that that I think it howled.Shalom my friend. Good write
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
-
When ah itchez, ah scratchez.
Comment from Drew Delaney
You have me in stitches tfawcus. This poetry looks like so much fun, but I think it would drive me mad. Ha, not that I'm not already. hee, hee!
This is a really great attempt and I have gotten the gist of what this poem is all about other than being that of humour. Enjoyed and I challenge you to write another one. LOL
Drew Delaney
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
|
You have me in stitches tfawcus. This poetry looks like so much fun, but I think it would drive me mad. Ha, not that I'm not already. hee, hee!
This is a really great attempt and I have gotten the gist of what this poem is all about other than being that of humour. Enjoyed and I challenge you to write another one. LOL
Drew Delaney
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
-
Poetry is at the edge of madness, or so I have been told! Yours is the second invitation to write another. Perhaps we need a contest!
-
Go for it!
Comment from BeasPeas
WoW! I'm impressed by the complexity of the sestina. Just explaining it is a challenge in itself. I doubt I could write one with or without a drink--actually without as I don't drink. You jumped in with both feet on this one. :)
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
|
WoW! I'm impressed by the complexity of the sestina. Just explaining it is a challenge in itself. I doubt I could write one with or without a drink--actually without as I don't drink. You jumped in with both feet on this one. :)
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
-
I am usually fairly abstemious too, except when driven to the demon drink by the wretched sestina!
-
I think it will be a good long while before I attempt that poetry form.
Comment from LIJ Red
I think this could be made more of a brainteaser by requiring that it be in iambic pentameter with hard end rhymes,written in archaic English under a waning half moon.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
|
I think this could be made more of a brainteaser by requiring that it be in iambic pentameter with hard end rhymes,written in archaic English under a waning half moon.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
-
Methinks the next waning half moon falleth on the Ides of December, (according to my lunar calender adjusted for latitude and longitude at my antipodean location). Verily, it seemeth one hath a bare lunar demicycle in which to take up the gauntlet. De dum, I ponder. Perhaps a visit to the apothecary is ordained in the astrolabe to indicate the purchase a potent elixir to keep those end-rhymes hard.
-
Odzooks.
Comment from kiwijenny
I suggest you flee a poem of such complexity...
And lay off the gin...sample instead..complexi-tea...to get your head on straight and when those sheep come out of the gate have the dip ready...whether or wether it's no matter but ATTACK THOSE FLEAS. And while you are at it stab those pesky French for coming up with such a stupid poetic form,,,,,obviously they were imbibing too much gin and were up to shenanigans with Sestina....stab Tina .....while you're at it ...French women are the worst
Sigh
God bless
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
|
I suggest you flee a poem of such complexity...
And lay off the gin...sample instead..complexi-tea...to get your head on straight and when those sheep come out of the gate have the dip ready...whether or wether it's no matter but ATTACK THOSE FLEAS. And while you are at it stab those pesky French for coming up with such a stupid poetic form,,,,,obviously they were imbibing too much gin and were up to shenanigans with Sestina....stab Tina .....while you're at it ...French women are the worst
Sigh
God bless
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
-
I have had some wonderful replies to this silly poem but yours is firmly ensconced at the top of the pile! Complexi-tea indeed! Brilliant! Shenanigans with Sestina? It must have been the leprechaun in me! Vive l'amour!
-
Ha ha I'm Irish leprechaun too my mum's name was Robin because her dad didn't like Colleen and wanted a boy...Now that's Irish ! Please do another impossible-to-follow poetic form. It's honing my reviewing skills :o)
Comment from st francis
Brilliant! Was an extraordinary and clever piece, A poetic masterpiece. "..A good sheepdog would be of great help to the poet." Loved this line. It takes us through from a mildly frustrated writer to a thoroughly pissed raver. Such wit and humour. Those pesky fleas indeed. I think we have all been bitten maybe too many times lol. I don't often give out six stars, but this appeals to my sense of humour in all it's entirety. Well done! Blessings, Miriam
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
|
Brilliant! Was an extraordinary and clever piece, A poetic masterpiece. "..A good sheepdog would be of great help to the poet." Loved this line. It takes us through from a mildly frustrated writer to a thoroughly pissed raver. Such wit and humour. Those pesky fleas indeed. I think we have all been bitten maybe too many times lol. I don't often give out six stars, but this appeals to my sense of humour in all it's entirety. Well done! Blessings, Miriam
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
-
So glad it brightened your day. The sestina being arranged in groups of six, it is most propitious of you to have awarded it six stars, Miriam! I am honoured!
-
Your welcome! Like that word propitious..I'm stealing it lol
-
You are welcome to appropriate propitious. It is not a proprietary brand! LOL
