Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "Who To Trust"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
15 total reviews
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the story. The village is dividing into sides. One side seeks to provide protection of the innocents. The other side thinks these innocents need to be purged of evil. Children are the easiest to accuse. It was hard to profess their innocence in that day. Great work.
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I love the story. The village is dividing into sides. One side seeks to provide protection of the innocents. The other side thinks these innocents need to be purged of evil. Children are the easiest to accuse. It was hard to profess their innocence in that day. Great work.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
Comment from Michaelk
Cervantes is too eager. I don't trust him. You brought him across as power hungry and only hiding it when admonished by Thurston.
'Father Thurston stopped to gre(e)t a family'
I can see now that the 'possessed' may have a hiding place. I think it's time to make a run before the soldiers surround Abramus' house.
This chapter is excellent. It had a good mix of intrigue, tension, and suspense.
I feel as thought this story is picking up momentum. You are putting pieces in place for something.
On a side note, if your stories keep growing larger with every incarnation of vision and sound, the next time period will be as long as 'War and Peace'. :)
This section of the story, even though continuously referring back to a previous time, I have gotten so involved in this part of the story that I have remind myself that it is part of a larger overall story.
I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
The story of Julia, could be made into a novel on its own.
Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reading. :)
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Cervantes is too eager. I don't trust him. You brought him across as power hungry and only hiding it when admonished by Thurston.
'Father Thurston stopped to gre(e)t a family'
I can see now that the 'possessed' may have a hiding place. I think it's time to make a run before the soldiers surround Abramus' house.
This chapter is excellent. It had a good mix of intrigue, tension, and suspense.
I feel as thought this story is picking up momentum. You are putting pieces in place for something.
On a side note, if your stories keep growing larger with every incarnation of vision and sound, the next time period will be as long as 'War and Peace'. :)
This section of the story, even though continuously referring back to a previous time, I have gotten so involved in this part of the story that I have remind myself that it is part of a larger overall story.
I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
The story of Julia, could be made into a novel on its own.
Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reading. :)
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Michael: I like your story plot and characters. Make Leopold get greedy with money too, then have someone catch him in the greed. Thurston is right about the evil of the cross with wolves in sheep's clothing. I enjoy your stories. Well written and suspenseful!
Enjoy the sunny days, we have snow in Southern Minnesota.
flylikeaneagle
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Michael: I like your story plot and characters. Make Leopold get greedy with money too, then have someone catch him in the greed. Thurston is right about the evil of the cross with wolves in sheep's clothing. I enjoy your stories. Well written and suspenseful!
Enjoy the sunny days, we have snow in Southern Minnesota.
flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
Comment from Sankey
Great chapter mate. Good reading. Just be in mind as you will further note in my comments of the need to make sure we understand to whom one is speaking and who is speaking. Sorry about my confusion. Now the spags.
I am bot sure if the following is a repeat....have seen and experienced more than you have experienced. MIkey I also get confused as to whom is speaking and to whom they are spa=peaking the way you write sometimes. I had trouble at the start of this deciding what Thurston was saying and what Cervates was saying.
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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Great chapter mate. Good reading. Just be in mind as you will further note in my comments of the need to make sure we understand to whom one is speaking and who is speaking. Sorry about my confusion. Now the spags.
I am bot sure if the following is a repeat....have seen and experienced more than you have experienced. MIkey I also get confused as to whom is speaking and to whom they are spa=peaking the way you write sometimes. I had trouble at the start of this deciding what Thurston was saying and what Cervates was saying.
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Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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I'll take a look at that. A couple people said I used the names too much. But, then I'd rather do that and be clear right? Glad you're still finding it good reading. It's getting down to the wire now I think. I have to figure out how to save my beloved characters from these crazy mad witch hunters!!
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I realise Americans seem to have an inate ability??? to think in abbreviated form....like I said before bigger words for some stuff than we do but then leave joining or descriptive words out ho hum. An example is some American preachers insist on when quoting a verse of scripture always introducing it as "for example...Gensis chapter (NUMBER)30 Verse (NUMBER)23 why not just genesis ch 30 verse 23! Are they getting paid h=per syllable? Ha!
Comment from Jay Squires
Another fine, furthering chapter. The pace is starting to pick up.
A few concerns:
opinion on the young priest. The young priest's eagerness [Suggest you use "HIS" eagerness since he's already been identified.]
recalled his own eagerness from his own early days. [You've used "own" twice, close to each other. Suggest you drop one or find a synonym.]
overly in awe of Leopold and himself, Father Thurston kept that in mind. [A run-on sentence]
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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Another fine, furthering chapter. The pace is starting to pick up.
A few concerns:
opinion on the young priest. The young priest's eagerness [Suggest you use "HIS" eagerness since he's already been identified.]
recalled his own eagerness from his own early days. [You've used "own" twice, close to each other. Suggest you drop one or find a synonym.]
overly in awe of Leopold and himself, Father Thurston kept that in mind. [A run-on sentence]
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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I'll look at those. I start over reading sometimes and worry that it isn't clear who is speaking. Then I make sure it isn't clear! Should be a period in that last sentence. Stronger glasses needed... I'll fix that. It's getting dangerous. AHHHH! I have to figure out how to save my favorite characters! mikey
