Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "Roads Quickly Traveled"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
15 total reviews
Comment from Joe_P
The story's level of intrigue is increasing. I am interested to learn if Father Thurston's motives are genuine.
Notes:
I'm assisting a nearby village who are without medical assistance.
"I won't be more than a couple days." I recommend "I won't be gone more than a couple of days."
"I have heard tell of the church going to extreme measures with the full backing of the state." Who or what is the state in 500 AD? If I am not mistaken, the church IS the state.
"Thurstone whispered to him" Misspelled "Thurston".
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The story's level of intrigue is increasing. I am interested to learn if Father Thurston's motives are genuine.
Notes:
I'm assisting a nearby village who are without medical assistance.
"I won't be more than a couple days." I recommend "I won't be gone more than a couple of days."
"I have heard tell of the church going to extreme measures with the full backing of the state." Who or what is the state in 500 AD? If I am not mistaken, the church IS the state.
"Thurstone whispered to him" Misspelled "Thurston".
Comment Written 18-Nov-2014
Comment from Gargantuan2
No faults in the section of the story that I could see. Progression of storyline continues to build a bit of suspense for the family situation and the plot continues on smoothly. Until next time :)
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No faults in the section of the story that I could see. Progression of storyline continues to build a bit of suspense for the family situation and the plot continues on smoothly. Until next time :)
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
Comment from CR Delport
This is now becoming like a chess game. They have to keep their smiling faces on while wheeling and dealing in the back. With Valerius out of the village, it leaves Julia and Florentina vulnerable. Another great chapter.
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This is now becoming like a chess game. They have to keep their smiling faces on while wheeling and dealing in the back. With Valerius out of the village, it leaves Julia and Florentina vulnerable. Another great chapter.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
Comment from angelface2
Very well written, Mike. I am happy for the author's notes. I think I may have missed a good deal of this story and will have to go read previous chepters. It is good. :>D Miss Sally
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Very well written, Mike. I am happy for the author's notes. I think I may have missed a good deal of this story and will have to go read previous chepters. It is good. :>D Miss Sally
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the story. I hope Thurston was in time to move the children to safety. The search is speeding up. The sides are gathering members. Leopold has showed a wiliness's to use soldiers to take the children from the village. This seems like manic thoughts. Maybe they can claim Leopold is possessed.
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I love the story. I hope Thurston was in time to move the children to safety. The search is speeding up. The sides are gathering members. Leopold has showed a wiliness's to use soldiers to take the children from the village. This seems like manic thoughts. Maybe they can claim Leopold is possessed.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
Comment from Antoine Charlemaine
Great dialogue here, Michael, and the story advances nicely, with tension rising.
A few things:
'"Thank you, Father; I know that she would be well cared for here.' 'that' can be deleted.
'"No, they are okay.' I think 'okay' is a little anachronistic for these times.
'It is an ugly marriage(,) if you ask me.'
'A piece of pie no matter the quality should not be enough to turn your head.' How about, 'A piece of pie should not be enough to turn your head, no matter the quality.'
'...Winslow and his family are either here or will be here.' How about '...are either here now, or soon will be.' Avoids repetition of 'here'.
Thanks, Michael.
Anthony
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Great dialogue here, Michael, and the story advances nicely, with tension rising.
A few things:
'"Thank you, Father; I know that she would be well cared for here.' 'that' can be deleted.
'"No, they are okay.' I think 'okay' is a little anachronistic for these times.
'It is an ugly marriage(,) if you ask me.'
'A piece of pie no matter the quality should not be enough to turn your head.' How about, 'A piece of pie should not be enough to turn your head, no matter the quality.'
'...Winslow and his family are either here or will be here.' How about '...are either here now, or soon will be.' Avoids repetition of 'here'.
Thanks, Michael.
Anthony
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
Comment from Nosha17
The intrigue and plot thicken with the evil priest and his associates determined to take control. Hopefully, they will not succeed. Great story line and characters. Most enjoya le. Faye
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The intrigue and plot thicken with the evil priest and his associates determined to take control. Hopefully, they will not succeed. Great story line and characters. Most enjoya le. Faye
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
Another strong chapter. The pieces are all falling in place and things are heading to a confrontation. The church has the power and the backing here. It will be difficult to have a good outcome.
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Another strong chapter. The pieces are all falling in place and things are heading to a confrontation. The church has the power and the backing here. It will be difficult to have a good outcome.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
Comment from Sasha
The fear and tension is building so high in this one, that my stomach is tied in knots. Excellent work with this chapter and don't worry about responding...just keep writing!
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The fear and tension is building so high in this one, that my stomach is tied in knots. Excellent work with this chapter and don't worry about responding...just keep writing!
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
Comment from seaglass
I fear this trip will not turn out well. And towns people couldn't be trusted in confidences. for a price Anyone might turn on them for a price or from fear for their own lives.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2014
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I fear this trip will not turn out well. And towns people couldn't be trusted in confidences. for a price Anyone might turn on them for a price or from fear for their own lives.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2014
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Things are about to get crazy. I have to figure out how to save my beloved characters and remain realistic. I don't trust the villagers either. A priest is a powerful figure and people are easily swayed. We'll see. mikey
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In this time, people didn't have access to scripture and most couldn't read anyway. They took the priest word about everything. No wonder the church wanted to kill Martin Luther after he pushed to publish the Bible in German.
