Get it together
My statement on Faith42 total reviews
Comment from Pullmanspb
If I focus strictly on the poem, it feels solid. The rhyming pattern isn't far fetched or too much of a stretch. When I recite it aloud, I didn't stumble at places and the rhythm was pretty good.
If I focus on the message/content of the poem, as someone who only recently believed there is a God, but don't identify myself as a Christian, what do you intend for readers to get from the repeated refrain "...till Jesus gets to you."? On a minor note, I'm not totally sure, but if it a contraction of "until" wouldn't it be 'til and not 'till." Just curious.
Steven
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2014
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If I focus strictly on the poem, it feels solid. The rhyming pattern isn't far fetched or too much of a stretch. When I recite it aloud, I didn't stumble at places and the rhythm was pretty good.
If I focus on the message/content of the poem, as someone who only recently believed there is a God, but don't identify myself as a Christian, what do you intend for readers to get from the repeated refrain "...till Jesus gets to you."? On a minor note, I'm not totally sure, but if it a contraction of "until" wouldn't it be 'til and not 'till." Just curious.
Steven
Comment Written 05-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2014
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I want to thank you for your generous rating and for your encouraging support. Thanks so much for your kind words and constructive feedback. ?Get it together ? is a Song/Poem that I wrote back in 1981 and always wanted to somehow someway get it out for a few people to read. It has finally been done.
I am addressing the challange that all religions face. When you cut away every thing else and the bottom line is laid bare; Every single religion believes in "Exclusive Sole Validity". I have been a Christian Pastor for over 30 years and my study and personal experience come down on the side of the God of the Bible. Thank You for the kindness and openness you showed in discussing this contraversial subject with me. May God Bless you.
Comment from Glasstruth
Spiritual, indeed. Buddhism is the most advanced belief when comes to life here on earth and of the hereafter. I could be wrong, but you seem to saying your way is the only way. It's a good set of lyrics. Reads well. Thanks for sharing. Les
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2014
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Spiritual, indeed. Buddhism is the most advanced belief when comes to life here on earth and of the hereafter. I could be wrong, but you seem to saying your way is the only way. It's a good set of lyrics. Reads well. Thanks for sharing. Les
Comment Written 05-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2014
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I want to thank you for your generous rating and for your encouraging support. Thanks so much for your kind words and constructive feedback. ?Get it together ? is a Song/Poem that I wrote back in 1981 and always wanted to somehow someway get it out for a few people to read. It has finally been done. May God Bless you. I am addressing the Challenge that all religions face. When you cut away everything else and the bottom line is laid bare; Every single religion believes in: ?Exclusive Sole Validity?. I have been a Christian Pastor for over 30 years and my study and personal experience come down on the side of the God of the Bible. Thank You for the kindness and openness you showed in addressing this controversial subject with me. May God Bless You.
Comment from acerisestory
You should have put this poem to music, Dr. Nad, because it has the rhyme and rhythm (plus the chorus) to make it work. It's a well written poem about the need for Jesus in a person's life.
I like the repetition of: "But you'll NEVER get it together till Jesus gets to you." Adds impact.
A couple of thoughts -- mainly about removing unneeded commas to promote the great flow of your words:
"But when your fun,
"You can try all things,
"But when your fun,
"You can try,
"You can try all things,
Well done, my friend, and I think a strong entry for the contest. Best of luck! Alana
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2014
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You should have put this poem to music, Dr. Nad, because it has the rhyme and rhythm (plus the chorus) to make it work. It's a well written poem about the need for Jesus in a person's life.
I like the repetition of: "But you'll NEVER get it together till Jesus gets to you." Adds impact.
A couple of thoughts -- mainly about removing unneeded commas to promote the great flow of your words:
"But when your fun,
"You can try all things,
"But when your fun,
"You can try,
"You can try all things,
Well done, my friend, and I think a strong entry for the contest. Best of luck! Alana
Comment Written 05-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2014
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I want to thank you for your generous rating and for your encouraging support. Thanks so much for your kind words and constructive feedback. ?Get it together ? is a Song/Poem that I wrote back in 1981 and always wanted to somehow someway get it out for a few people to read. It has finally been done. May God Bless you.
Comment from butterfly4265
I really liked this! What a great way to convey your message. You had me hooked right from the first line! I enjoyed the whole song/poem but I especially liked the line "go to the people who teach you how to think". I am glad that you finally found a way to get this out for people to read. :-)
An excellent and unique entry into the contest which I wish you the best of luck with.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2014
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I really liked this! What a great way to convey your message. You had me hooked right from the first line! I enjoyed the whole song/poem but I especially liked the line "go to the people who teach you how to think". I am glad that you finally found a way to get this out for people to read. :-)
An excellent and unique entry into the contest which I wish you the best of luck with.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2014
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I want to thank you for your generous rating and for your encouraging support. Thanks so much for your kind words and constructive feedback. ?Get it together ? is a Song/Poem that I wrote back in 1981 and always wanted to somehow someway get it out for a few people to read. It has finally been done. May God Bless you.
Comment from Erys
Faith is the free consent of the soul. People reach this state, but certainly not all of them at the same time. I enjoyed reading your "statement".
Best wishes!
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014
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Faith is the free consent of the soul. People reach this state, but certainly not all of them at the same time. I enjoyed reading your "statement".
Best wishes!
Comment Written 05-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014
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I want to thank you for your generous rating and for your encouraging support. Thanks so much for your kind words and constructive feedback. ?Get it together ? is a Song/Poem that I wrote back in 1981 and always wanted to somehow someway get it out for a few people to read. It has finally been done. May God Bless you.
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The pleasure was all mine. It's great to believe in something. May God bless you too.
Comment from mfowler
You get my six for sheer inventiveness.
Can't argue with the message, as I believe it.
Loved the way your song felt as I read it.
Terrific rhythm generated.
A pleasure to read.
The choices you offer show a wide range of knowledge of how people try to get through life, but you keep coming back to Jesus...simple as that.
Great rhyming and simplicity of the core message of:You'll NEVER get it together till Jesus gets to you, is very impacting.
I wish you the best for the judging.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014
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You get my six for sheer inventiveness.
Can't argue with the message, as I believe it.
Loved the way your song felt as I read it.
Terrific rhythm generated.
A pleasure to read.
The choices you offer show a wide range of knowledge of how people try to get through life, but you keep coming back to Jesus...simple as that.
Great rhyming and simplicity of the core message of:You'll NEVER get it together till Jesus gets to you, is very impacting.
I wish you the best for the judging.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014
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I want to thank you for your generous 6 star rating and for your encouraging support. Thanks so much for your kind words and constructive feedback. ?Get it together ? is a Song/Poem that I wrote back in 1981 and always wanted to somehow someway get it out for a few people to read. It has finally been done. May God Bless you.
Comment from linsbm
Emphasis on the very important line:'"You'll NEVER get it together till Jesus gets to you." and by repetition is very effective in conveying your message to readers. Moreover, the lyrics you've composed are very true. A well written spiritual song in a poem that will bring not only joy to readers but also delivers a good message. Thanks for sharing.} Lin
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014
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Emphasis on the very important line:'"You'll NEVER get it together till Jesus gets to you." and by repetition is very effective in conveying your message to readers. Moreover, the lyrics you've composed are very true. A well written spiritual song in a poem that will bring not only joy to readers but also delivers a good message. Thanks for sharing.} Lin
Comment Written 05-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014
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I want to thank you for your generous rating and for your encouraging support. Thanks so much for your kind words and constructive feedback. ?Get it together ? is a Song/Poem that I wrote back in 1981 and always wanted to somehow someway get it out for a few people to read. It has finally been done. May God Bless you.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Well, I thought it was a wonderfully written set of spiritual lyrics, Dr. Nad. I would love to hear it set to music. I'd wager that it would be very uplifting.
My pastor frequently tells me that our spirits need refueling, just as an automobile needs gas. We do that through prayer, worship, staying in His Word, and being around like-mined Christians who cherish God's love and grace as much as we do. Our bodies are a machine, fueled by God's love, and the Bible is our "owner's manual". We who believe are given life eternal through His son, Jesus, who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our sins. It is songs like yours which feed the tank, if you will, and give us the strength to forge ahead, despite our present circumstances.
Well done, wonderful work! :}
~DeanO
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2014
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Well, I thought it was a wonderfully written set of spiritual lyrics, Dr. Nad. I would love to hear it set to music. I'd wager that it would be very uplifting.
My pastor frequently tells me that our spirits need refueling, just as an automobile needs gas. We do that through prayer, worship, staying in His Word, and being around like-mined Christians who cherish God's love and grace as much as we do. Our bodies are a machine, fueled by God's love, and the Bible is our "owner's manual". We who believe are given life eternal through His son, Jesus, who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our sins. It is songs like yours which feed the tank, if you will, and give us the strength to forge ahead, despite our present circumstances.
Well done, wonderful work! :}
~DeanO
Comment Written 14-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2014
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I want to thank you for your generous rating and for your encouraging support. Thanks so much for your kind words and constructive feedback. ?Get it together ? is a Song/Poem that I wrote back in 1981 and always wanted to somehow someway get it out for a few people to read. It has finally been done. May God Bless you DeanO.
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It was my pleasure, Dr. Nad. You are very welcome, and may the Lord bless you & yours as well. :}
Comment from LIJ Red
you're fun, is all said should be "your"
Muhammad to, should be "too"
Don't let Da'ish see this. Their beheading swordsman will be wanting to chat with you...excellent work.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014
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you're fun, is all said should be "your"
Muhammad to, should be "too"
Don't let Da'ish see this. Their beheading swordsman will be wanting to chat with you...excellent work.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014
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I want to thank you for your generous rating and for your encouraging support. Thanks so much for your kind words and constructive feedback. I have made those corrections. It is embarrassing to think they may have been there since this was written. ?Get it together ? is a Song/Poem that I wrote back in 1981 and always wanted to somehow someway get it out for a few people to read. It has finally been done. May God Bless you.
Comment from adewpearl
solid use of rhyming couplets
strong verb choices
good use of illustrative examples
very effective use of the refrain line
try Muhammad to - too
it seems a little insulting to people of other religions to compare their worshiping someone other than Jesus with snorting drugs
or suggesting that their religious beliefs are among the things Satan brings
Brooke
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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solid use of rhyming couplets
strong verb choices
good use of illustrative examples
very effective use of the refrain line
try Muhammad to - too
it seems a little insulting to people of other religions to compare their worshiping someone other than Jesus with snorting drugs
or suggesting that their religious beliefs are among the things Satan brings
Brooke
Comment Written 13-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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I want to thank you for your generous rating and for your encouraging support. Thanks so much for your kind words and constructive feedback. ?Get it together ? is a Song/Poem that I wrote back in 1981 and always wanted to somehow someway get it out for a few people to read. It has finally been done. May God Bless you.
