Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 39 "Delusions That Must Be Stopped"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
15 total reviews
Comment from nelliesellie
The wolves are a father's warning. He will protect his child. The group has help that Leopold would not even think of. It seems the war has began. Leopold is getting more open and aggressive in his stance. Julia is getting sharper. He may see things what will help. Great work.
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The wolves are a father's warning. He will protect his child. The group has help that Leopold would not even think of. It seems the war has began. Leopold is getting more open and aggressive in his stance. Julia is getting sharper. He may see things what will help. Great work.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
I don't know if it is possible to raise the tension any further but I said that four chapters ago. The slow escalation for Leopold is genius and believable. Excellent.
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I don't know if it is possible to raise the tension any further but I said that four chapters ago. The slow escalation for Leopold is genius and believable. Excellent.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
Comment from Jay Squires
You don't know how I look forward to your daily chapters, Mikey. Even your SPAGG sometimes entertains me. LOL.
Valerius put his arm around Julia's waste [Eww! I trust you mean WAIST]
Valerius gently guided Julia to a chair nearby where she gently sat down.[Try to avoid one of the "gently's]
"Hold a moment, Leopold. I will accompany you. Thank you kindly, Abramus, [who is speaking here? very unclear. Have you combined two paragraphs --two speakers?]
A gripping chapter, Mikey. Good job!
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You don't know how I look forward to your daily chapters, Mikey. Even your SPAGG sometimes entertains me. LOL.
Valerius put his arm around Julia's waste [Eww! I trust you mean WAIST]
Valerius gently guided Julia to a chair nearby where she gently sat down.[Try to avoid one of the "gently's]
"Hold a moment, Leopold. I will accompany you. Thank you kindly, Abramus, [who is speaking here? very unclear. Have you combined two paragraphs --two speakers?]
A gripping chapter, Mikey. Good job!
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
Comment from Sankey
Good stuff mate. Gets more and more dramatic and intriguing fer shore.
SOme possible spags for ya.
"Hold a moment, Leopold. I will accompany you. Thank you kindly, Abramus, a lovely respite indeed." He accompanied Leopold out the door. He (Father Thurston?)caught the eye of Valerius on the way out and an understanding of purpose passed between them.
then what it(s?) there?
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Good stuff mate. Gets more and more dramatic and intriguing fer shore.
SOme possible spags for ya.
"Hold a moment, Leopold. I will accompany you. Thank you kindly, Abramus, a lovely respite indeed." He accompanied Leopold out the door. He (Father Thurston?)caught the eye of Valerius on the way out and an understanding of purpose passed between them.
then what it(s?) there?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Leopold needs to be killed ... NOW. It could be made to look like a robbery. Just get that bastard out of Julia's life. He deserves whatever you throw at him. Grrrr...
I guess the writing is good if I hate this character so much I'd kill him myself if I could. :)
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Leopold needs to be killed ... NOW. It could be made to look like a robbery. Just get that bastard out of Julia's life. He deserves whatever you throw at him. Grrrr...
I guess the writing is good if I hate this character so much I'd kill him myself if I could. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
