Reviews from

Outsmarted

Trip to the park for science class

24 total reviews 
Comment from Genya
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Hi Pat, well this was really interesting. So glad someone showed the bully and managed to stand up to him. Snakes, we get them quite a lot in the garden and once you know which is poisonous and which is not, they are not so bad. I can see how the girls would be terrified. Nothing worse than having a snake pushed in front of your face. Brave you. Maybe that stopped the bullying for a while. Great Read Pat. Take care. Genya

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
    Thank you for the trview and the comments.
    This is one of the stories I did not lose when my memory was taken from me of my childhood. I can still close my eyes and see the whole scene playing out of that day. For people to understand memory loss, they must have experienced such a loss. I praise God that He is giving me back memories, however there are still four months at the time of the loss I don't have any recall of. Was that because bad things were happening to me? I just do not know.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
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Hi, Pat,

Jeesh, not me, I don't care if it is a garter snake because a snake is a snake is a 'sneaky' snake! No ma'am.

You are far braver than me. I'd run the other way.

Good story.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
    Jax thanks for reading my story. Brave, I am not sure that was what it was, it was more not wanting to be bullied by Robert.
    I don't like snakes. There was a snake go into my house several years ago, it was a very hot, humid day and I was petrified with fear, but had to get the snake out of the house, so I went forth and chased the critter out of the house.
Comment from Jay Squires
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This is a cute story. You told it very effectively with the theme being how to turn the tables on a bully. I have to tell you I thought it was going to be traveling in a different direction with the teacher's requirement about writing the 500 word essay. I'll, be honest with you, and this is more in the way of a suggestion -- certainly not SPAG ... but I would delete out the part about the teacher and Robert's response to her. That way you keep the story punchy and direct without wasting any energy. Again, just a suggestion.

Otherwise, this was very readable and entertaining.

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 Comment Written 25-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
    Thanks fr the review and the suggestion. I added a short line at the end of the story about Robert's reaction to being outsmarted and the test. This is one of the stories of my childhood that was not lost to me in the memory loss.
Comment from Eigle Rull
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Wow! My friend, if I had a six left, I'd give it to you. This little story was great. I love stories about bullies getting what they have coming.

This story was interesting and it held my attention with the great message it held about bullying. You used easy to read and understand words too. I enjoyed reading your story, my friend. It was worth the time.

Always with respect,

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 Comment Written 25-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
    Thank you for the kind review. This is one of the memories of my childhood that I did not lose when I had a memory loss. In another chapter you will find what cause the loss of my memory. it is by the Grace of God I have been able to recover some memories, although some are quite sketchy yet.