Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "The Girls Bond, Plans Are Made"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
20 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
Great chapter. You are doing well my friend. Love the picture you picked as well a pretty girl.
I nearly got done then A little spag...in the church right her(e) in the village. Father Thurston came to our aid immediately.
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Great chapter. You are doing well my friend. Love the picture you picked as well a pretty girl.
I nearly got done then A little spag...in the church right her(e) in the village. Father Thurston came to our aid immediately.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
Comment from ProjectBluebook
I do believe tat you do collect other people's thoughts tangled in a web. I was thinking about the same thing... that Julia would make the girl a good mentor and friend because of their special abilities. I speculated that they would love each other's company. Maybe there are some hermits in the woods. I now a lot about the Roman catholic church. I went from k-8th grade at St. Elizabeth's Catholic School. Does Julia or Valerious go to church? Or do they fear it? The priests have confession sessions with the flock. Could be some interesting confessions made to the priests by church members. It's a private meeting inside the booth. The priest gets to learn people's sins they confess with their own mouth. Your skipping along. Well penned like always. I see six nuns inside an abbey. Count your doubloon. wackydo
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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I do believe tat you do collect other people's thoughts tangled in a web. I was thinking about the same thing... that Julia would make the girl a good mentor and friend because of their special abilities. I speculated that they would love each other's company. Maybe there are some hermits in the woods. I now a lot about the Roman catholic church. I went from k-8th grade at St. Elizabeth's Catholic School. Does Julia or Valerious go to church? Or do they fear it? The priests have confession sessions with the flock. Could be some interesting confessions made to the priests by church members. It's a private meeting inside the booth. The priest gets to learn people's sins they confess with their own mouth. Your skipping along. Well penned like always. I see six nuns inside an abbey. Count your doubloon. wackydo
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Hey Bro! Yeah, we're on the same wavelength. Valerius attends church. They all do except Julia. She's kept at home for the most part because of her condition. The church is already looking for demons before the Priest becomes unglued. I had to learn all about Catholicism to marry my first wife. I knew way more than she did! Love them nuns in the abbey, I look GOOD to them. Hahaha. Another chapter in about an hour or so. Don't forget your mail. mikey
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I'm amazed how you produce so much. I'm a slacker, i don't dedicate that much time, like I should. The real world swallows me. Look up procrastinator and you will see my picture beside it. What is that Spooky Dean working on? Don't know if silence is good or bad? Lol!
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It depends sometimes on how complicated your story is. Your spy caper is so complex you have to think about every word. This story is pretty simple really and it's off the top of my head. But, basically it's a good versus evil tale. Even the research isn't what people imagine. Just look up 500AD and it's all there in about a paragraph. Rome Fell, Dark Ages beginning, Church starting to go nuts. That's about it. Hahaha. Just stick some people there and talk a little bit more wordy than people do now days. Use phrases like "given to" or "befell her" and it sounds like you have done research!!! Don't forget, I live at my job. I can sit at my computer till someone knocks on the door, then when they are gone, I can sit right back down. Plus, I'm not human so I don't sleep...
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Sleeping is for sissies. Lol! Need to investigate your new chapter. do loco.
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It's my best one! Check your mail too.
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It's my best one! Check your mail too.
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I'm reading it right now!
Comment from Michaelk
I figured they would hit it off. I guess now the paranoia begins in earnest. With the ring of spies that Valerius eludes to, the girls won't even be safe out at the farm. I liked the fact that Abramus had to be convinced that Leopold was now a blood thirsty zealot. It added a sense of reality that he didn't believe that a preacher would do that.
Great chapter.
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I figured they would hit it off. I guess now the paranoia begins in earnest. With the ring of spies that Valerius eludes to, the girls won't even be safe out at the farm. I liked the fact that Abramus had to be convinced that Leopold was now a blood thirsty zealot. It added a sense of reality that he didn't believe that a preacher would do that.
Great chapter.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
Comment from Nosha17
Another great chapter with Valerius leading the way in keeping all on the right track and on the alert with the rise of fanaticism in the priest. The characters are so well drawn and sympathetic and the story line is very strong. Most enjoyable Faye
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Another great chapter with Valerius leading the way in keeping all on the right track and on the alert with the rise of fanaticism in the priest. The characters are so well drawn and sympathetic and the story line is very strong. Most enjoyable Faye
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the story. The lines are being drawn. Florentia and Julia are innocents that have a hard time believing someone would hurt them. Even thou both face horrific visions. The men are going to have to be very watchful. They may be able to talk the girls into acting in a way that will protect them. Finding more like them should help. Great work.
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I love the story. The lines are being drawn. Florentia and Julia are innocents that have a hard time believing someone would hurt them. Even thou both face horrific visions. The men are going to have to be very watchful. They may be able to talk the girls into acting in a way that will protect them. Finding more like them should help. Great work.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
Comment from Jay Squires
Luckily I got to this while it was still "pumpable". I woulda read it anyway at 2 cents. You have me hooked. This could easily be the book of the year.
One comment and a suggestion, below. No SPAG that I could find
He used to imitate the animals of the forest. It delighted her. [I haven't read on yet, but this certainly seems like a clue that should have jumped right out to Valerius.
"Surely you are mistaken. [This needs a dialogue tag. Otherwise, the reader has to search back to figure out who is speaking. Is it Lourdes? She was the last to speak, so it would seem natural. No, she didn't know Leopold before this. See what I mean? You don't want the reader taken out of the magic of your words (It's okay, I'll find my way back.)
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Luckily I got to this while it was still "pumpable". I woulda read it anyway at 2 cents. You have me hooked. This could easily be the book of the year.
One comment and a suggestion, below. No SPAG that I could find
He used to imitate the animals of the forest. It delighted her. [I haven't read on yet, but this certainly seems like a clue that should have jumped right out to Valerius.
"Surely you are mistaken. [This needs a dialogue tag. Otherwise, the reader has to search back to figure out who is speaking. Is it Lourdes? She was the last to speak, so it would seem natural. No, she didn't know Leopold before this. See what I mean? You don't want the reader taken out of the magic of your words (It's okay, I'll find my way back.)
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Oh. I'll look at that. Dialogue tags are something I'm working on and dialogue in general. I'm trying to keep my peeps from making big speeches! Yes, I want to expand on her father's role imitating the animals but I haven't determined exactly how yet. I always put the four day cert. on these to give some time. I'm so behind that it's a miracle to get more than two cents. Hahaha. Great input as always. Learning a lot! Thank you. mikey
Comment from Ricky1024
Nicely written and an honor as 'A Latter day Saint Priest of the Church of Jesus Christ' to read.
I only write things similar to this on Sabbath Sundays1 Thanks,
24.
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Nicely written and an honor as 'A Latter day Saint Priest of the Church of Jesus Christ' to read.
I only write things similar to this on Sabbath Sundays1 Thanks,
24.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
Comment from Sasha
What a frightening time to live in. The church has a black stain for all the cruel and hurtful things it claims to have done for the good of man and in the name of God. For anyone to dare stand against the church was certain punishment, if not death. This has become very tense and causes me considerable fear that something terrible is going to happen. Great work with this chapter and as always, I anxiously look forward to reading the next.
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What a frightening time to live in. The church has a black stain for all the cruel and hurtful things it claims to have done for the good of man and in the name of God. For anyone to dare stand against the church was certain punishment, if not death. This has become very tense and causes me considerable fear that something terrible is going to happen. Great work with this chapter and as always, I anxiously look forward to reading the next.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
Comment from gypsycaravan
Interesting that Florentina was able to immediately bring Julia back from her "stunned" state. Was it that she was a bubbly child or did Julia recognize the similarities in their situation? I was afraid Abramus was going to continue refusing to believe Valorous regarding Leopold's quest to find fault with Julia. Enjoying your story immensely.
Couple typos:
church right her in the village--"her" should be "here"
He senses the danger I believe.--insert comma after "danger"
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Interesting that Florentina was able to immediately bring Julia back from her "stunned" state. Was it that she was a bubbly child or did Julia recognize the similarities in their situation? I was afraid Abramus was going to continue refusing to believe Valorous regarding Leopold's quest to find fault with Julia. Enjoying your story immensely.
Couple typos:
church right her in the village--"her" should be "here"
He senses the danger I believe.--insert comma after "danger"
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
Comment from CR Delport
Although it is a shock to hear, Julia's father put her own safety first. I am glad to see the two girls taken to each other immediately. Another well crafted chapter.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Although it is a shock to hear, Julia's father put her own safety first. I am glad to see the two girls taken to each other immediately. Another well crafted chapter.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
