Chasing Black Hawk
A farm boy receives a warning about an Indian attack.12 total reviews
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, RodG,
Congrats! Easy to see why this won.
Great story and build up. I love this period anyway. It's what I write about, so I was hooked from the get-go.
Great end, leaving it open to expand into a novel.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Hi, RodG,
Congrats! Easy to see why this won.
Great story and build up. I love this period anyway. It's what I write about, so I was hooked from the get-go.
Great end, leaving it open to expand into a novel.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much, Jax. My victory surprised me as western lore does not usually attract many readers on this site. I have the novel half-written. You might want to read its epilog, a story I posted some time ago titled "Abe Comes Home." In it, Asa Buckley is 30 years older. Rod
Comment from michaelcahill
Nicely done. This unfolds perfectly and rings true. I like the characters and the portrayal of their attitudes towards the unfolding situation. The dialogue is just right I think and not over the top like it so often is in stories like this. There is no question that any reader is turning that page. Congratulations! mikey
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Nicely done. This unfolds perfectly and rings true. I like the characters and the portrayal of their attitudes towards the unfolding situation. The dialogue is just right I think and not over the top like it so often is in stories like this. There is no question that any reader is turning that page. Congratulations! mikey
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much, Michael, for your very kind praise and sportsmanship. I truly appreciate knowing you liked the story. Rod
Comment from TheWriteTeach
This is a very good start to a novel. You caught my interest immediately and kept it all the way to the end. I hope you write more and post it because I'd like to see what happens. You did a nice job with this. Good luck in the contest, I think it will be a contender.
Suzanne
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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This is a very good start to a novel. You caught my interest immediately and kept it all the way to the end. I hope you write more and post it because I'd like to see what happens. You did a nice job with this. Good luck in the contest, I think it will be a contender.
Suzanne
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Hi TWT, I really appreciate your comments on this story. Western lore does not usually go over big on this site, so I was surprised "Chasing Black Hawk" won. You might like a story I posted titled "Abe Comes Home." In it, Asa Buckley is 30 years older. Thanks so much for your kind review. Rod
Comment from Judy Couch
This is really interesting. It is told in a realistic way. I thought it sounded like something that might have happened. Then I read your author's notes and learned that it did happen. You told the story well.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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This is really interesting. It is told in a realistic way. I thought it sounded like something that might have happened. Then I read your author's notes and learned that it did happen. You told the story well.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Hi, Judy. I truly appreciate your sharing this story and your very kind praise. Rod
Comment from forestport12
Excellent read! It captured my attention and then left me wanting to know more an a historical is based on a true story. Your description combined with the simplicity of the times shines thru.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Excellent read! It captured my attention and then left me wanting to know more an a historical is based on a true story. Your description combined with the simplicity of the times shines thru.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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I am delighted you enjoyed this short piece of western lore. Although I am writing fiction, many of the events in my proposed novel did happen. In a later chapter I introduce Abraham Lincoln who was a captain in the militia Asa ultimately joins.
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I definitely have my eye on you. I wrote a western novel that I hoped an agent was going to get published. Tough plowing though.... Definitely see potential!
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You are absolutely right about getting a western published as being "tough plowing." I wrote one, too, (the first chapter is posted here on FS titled "Battleborn) that no publisher wants to look at.
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I had a good agent who really liked my story, a legitimate and well like man in the business, and he got nowhere with his connections. Maybe we will have to get creative and start our own western publishing company. I came close with one, but then they found out I planned a sequel and were only looking for a few new stand alone titles. I shot myself in the foot!
Comment from adewpearl
you set the stage and introduce your main character well in your opening
excellent use of vernacular speech in your natural-sounding dialogue
excellent character development - will you be posting more of the story? It is fascinating Brooke
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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you set the stage and introduce your main character well in your opening
excellent use of vernacular speech in your natural-sounding dialogue
excellent character development - will you be posting more of the story? It is fascinating Brooke
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Few people find western lore worth reading anymore, so I am truly delighted to know you found this piece "fascinating," Brooke. Thank you so much for sharing it and for your kind comments.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements nicely. It is technically sound and very engaging as you set the plot to be interesting and intriguing. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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This meets the contest requirements nicely. It is technically sound and very engaging as you set the plot to be interesting and intriguing. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Ah, those magic words any story teller loves to hear--"engaging.". So pleased you enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing.
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Mystery Writer
I enjoy this genre and have enjoyed your laid back, yet informative first page. You capture the heat, the period in time and the farming life well. I felt part of the scene and found the characters realistic and appropriate for their ages and situation. Interesting to know the story is based on real people and real actions. I would continue to read on ... I love floating back to another time, another place.
I think you have enough here for a first page and with the intrigue to continue interest. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Well done. Lovinia xoxoxo
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Hi Mystery Writer
I enjoy this genre and have enjoyed your laid back, yet informative first page. You capture the heat, the period in time and the farming life well. I felt part of the scene and found the characters realistic and appropriate for their ages and situation. Interesting to know the story is based on real people and real actions. I would continue to read on ... I love floating back to another time, another place.
I think you have enough here for a first page and with the intrigue to continue interest. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Well done. Lovinia xoxoxo
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much, Lovinia, for your support and encouragement. I am especially pleased these few words put you there.
Comment from Acquired Taste
You've got very interesting dialects/dialogue in this. Keeps the reader moving forward looking for more. Good front page and like it is based on a true account. Good wishes for luck in the contest. AT=/
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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You've got very interesting dialects/dialogue in this. Keeps the reader moving forward looking for more. Good front page and like it is based on a true account. Good wishes for luck in the contest. AT=/
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Thank you, AT, for your encouragement. The dialog is the hardest part, but I am pleased it works for you.
Comment from janalma
Sounds like a good start to an interesting story. I liked the vernacular for the boys. Also it is written without spag and unnecessary wordage. I think it would probably work well as adult and YA also if written into a book and the premise of excitement is carried thru.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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Sounds like a good start to an interesting story. I liked the vernacular for the boys. Also it is written without spag and unnecessary wordage. I think it would probably work well as adult and YA also if written into a book and the premise of excitement is carried thru.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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Thank you for the kudos and the acclaim. I truly hope this story appeals to a wide audience.
