Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Several Encounters"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
20 total reviews
Comment from Tatarka2
Ah, now I'm beginning to get it. I truly admire your taking on such a daunting task as to attempt to portray 500 AD, complete with characterization and dialogue, No one but you probably could or would attempt this, and with such success. That said, this still isn't my favorite of yours, so I probably won't review them again. To me, the dialogue seems forced, and the sentences are way too long. I still give your credit for the attempt, though, and it seems like you're having fun with it. Have you read Jane Smiley's "Greenland?" It's her doctoral dissertation. It takes place in the year 1000, but is told in modern language. To me, it is easier to read and also imparts the culture and "feel" o the time.
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Ah, now I'm beginning to get it. I truly admire your taking on such a daunting task as to attempt to portray 500 AD, complete with characterization and dialogue, No one but you probably could or would attempt this, and with such success. That said, this still isn't my favorite of yours, so I probably won't review them again. To me, the dialogue seems forced, and the sentences are way too long. I still give your credit for the attempt, though, and it seems like you're having fun with it. Have you read Jane Smiley's "Greenland?" It's her doctoral dissertation. It takes place in the year 1000, but is told in modern language. To me, it is easier to read and also imparts the culture and "feel" o the time.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2014
Comment from Nosha17
I am beginning to dislike that priest with his wicked mind! Now Valerius has 2 patients to contend with and shield. Well written chapter and enjoyable as always. Faye
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I am beginning to dislike that priest with his wicked mind! Now Valerius has 2 patients to contend with and shield. Well written chapter and enjoyable as always. Faye
Comment Written 18-Oct-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
Cassius is reaching out to the right person. Valerius and Flortina may help Julia. Both are in danger from the priests. They are facing the first test when Florentia began screaming. Great work.
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Cassius is reaching out to the right person. Valerius and Flortina may help Julia. Both are in danger from the priests. They are facing the first test when Florentia began screaming. Great work.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2014
Comment from drivenbackward
Flawless. Seriously. I did my best to find an error so I could help, but I found nothing. What I did find: professional writing, great dialect, and strong characterization.
I didn't return to FS that long ago, but in that short amount of time, your writing has improved dramatically. I don't know what you did, but it worked!
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Flawless. Seriously. I did my best to find an error so I could help, but I found nothing. What I did find: professional writing, great dialect, and strong characterization.
I didn't return to FS that long ago, but in that short amount of time, your writing has improved dramatically. I don't know what you did, but it worked!
Comment Written 18-Oct-2014
Comment from Sasha
The church is clearly going to be a problem. I find the idea of them interfering with Valerius' treatment of Florentina actually quite frightening. There is a fair amount of mental illness in my family and I am sure back then, most wold have been burned at the state.
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The church is clearly going to be a problem. I find the idea of them interfering with Valerius' treatment of Florentina actually quite frightening. There is a fair amount of mental illness in my family and I am sure back then, most wold have been burned at the state.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2014
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Michael: I like how the groups are meeting and helping. Beware of the wolf in sheep's clothing with Leopold.
Note, you forgot Cassius in the line of people. Ok, I think he's an amazing brother.
Are you going to introduce Florentina to Julia? Are they going to be connected in the past? How was the roast? Are they going to eat dinner together? Are the wolves going to eat the evil priest Leopald?
Great story! flylikeaneagle
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Michael: I like how the groups are meeting and helping. Beware of the wolf in sheep's clothing with Leopold.
Note, you forgot Cassius in the line of people. Ok, I think he's an amazing brother.
Are you going to introduce Florentina to Julia? Are they going to be connected in the past? How was the roast? Are they going to eat dinner together? Are the wolves going to eat the evil priest Leopald?
Great story! flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 18-Oct-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Very good chapter, Mikey. I guess they're laughing to make it look like a joke, and I think it will work. I wonder tho why Florentina would have the same gift that Julia has.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2014
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Very good chapter, Mikey. I guess they're laughing to make it look like a joke, and I think it will work. I wonder tho why Florentina would have the same gift that Julia has.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2014
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It isn't necessarily the same gift. It may be something similar or something different. In Julia's case we know what it is because we know her history. Florentina's case is more of a mystery because we don't know where her visions are coming from. She's more like someone that we would give some lithium too. :) Yes, they are laughing to throw the priests off especially in Valerius's case. She's just laughing for the joy of it. Thurston proves to be a good ally in the upcoming conversation. Thanks for the great review. Can any of your guests make egg foo young????
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With both hands tied behind his back! But we've had gourmet delights like sesame chicken, some amazing spicy/sweet salmon thing, yummy short ribs, "crispy" beef (Yum), and more food than I have had in my house in my life! He makes several entrees for lunch and dinner plus soup! He loves to cook... and cleans up everything, even the floor! I think I'll adopt him too. :)
Comment from gypsycaravan
Florentina probably saw that horrible Leopold in the pack of wolves causing her to scream. Ha. It's almost as though Leopold is out looking for people to crucify. So interesting that he considers it "Putting them out of their misery" and looks at it as if he's doing something holy. Seems we still have many 'Leopolds' in the world today. Nice work.
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Florentina probably saw that horrible Leopold in the pack of wolves causing her to scream. Ha. It's almost as though Leopold is out looking for people to crucify. So interesting that he considers it "Putting them out of their misery" and looks at it as if he's doing something holy. Seems we still have many 'Leopolds' in the world today. Nice work.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
This has become an amazing treat to read. It sounds like a true story of real people as told by someone from that era that witnessed it. Outstanding writing. I am certain that this is going to be in a bookstore!!
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This has become an amazing treat to read. It sounds like a true story of real people as told by someone from that era that witnessed it. Outstanding writing. I am certain that this is going to be in a bookstore!!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2014
Comment from Jay Squires
Mikey, Mikey, Mikey, why must you post ten minutes before the news?
observations and concerns:
They walked along, each with their own agendas.[Each with HIS own AGENDA.]
but genuine seemed difficult for him to master anymore. [Very "telling" and a good observation.]
You've really ratcheted up the story-line, Mikey. Action is starting to dovetail toward the inevitable climax.
You are a joy to read, my friend, a joy that would be exceeded by a posting even 15 minutes earlier. LOL, good work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Mikey, Mikey, Mikey, why must you post ten minutes before the news?
observations and concerns:
They walked along, each with their own agendas.[Each with HIS own AGENDA.]
but genuine seemed difficult for him to master anymore. [Very "telling" and a good observation.]
You've really ratcheted up the story-line, Mikey. Action is starting to dovetail toward the inevitable climax.
You are a joy to read, my friend, a joy that would be exceeded by a posting even 15 minutes earlier. LOL, good work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2014
