Comment from drivenbackward

Excellent

Very creative approach, mystery author. A unique and enjoyable read. Only two small notes to consider:

backyard (one word)

What I seen caused my old pacemaker to do the terror tango. -- Move up one spot.

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

Thanks for the review, Dan, and for your suggestions as well. I'm glad you liked the story.

Comment from dennis0530

Excellent

First impressions do count - until the truth comes out.

Under the circumstances that the character first saw Jimmy, a dubious impression was established. Truth is always an exciting objective to be sought after. And curiosity is always a commodity wanting to be satisfied. So these two elements combined to spur an action.

Unfortunately, it was a bitter truth and the price to pay with intermittent nightmares. Somewhere, Satan Claus must be saying to himself, "Till next Christmas."

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

Yeah, I'll bet you're right there, Dennis. I pity the next poor family he makes contact with.

Thanks so much for your insights and thorough review.

Comment from Supe

Excellent

To say I was on the edge of my seat is an understatement. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
From start to finish this fast paced story flowed. Love the speech and descriptions. Some were hilarious.
I think you accomplished "Horror to the fullest."

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

Thanks so much, Supe, and I'm really pleased that you thought so. I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to read and review the story for me.

Much obliged! :}

Comment from rod007

Exceptional

This was extremely well written, extremely gory and is a deserved winner of this contest. I somehow find it hard in my own writing to use vulgar words but that's me. I have to live with it. Well done.

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

Thanks, Rod, I really appreciate you reviewing this for me since you're a bit of a horror aficionado yourself. I don't use profanity unless I feel the character would. For example, if a biker in a bar sees a car back into his precious Harley Davidson Panhead, he's not going to say, "Oh, gosh darn it! You moron!" If realism is to be achieved, then swearing, unfortunately, is a part of our culture. People swear when they're angry or upset. Not all, but a lot.

The warning that this site provides concerning profanity and its severity should always be activated, however. That way, those who choose not to read such words can see it beforehand, and choose to skip the story altogether. I try very hard never to forget that.

Thanks again for the outstanding review. :}

reply by rod007 on 17-Oct-2014

You deserve the stars, my friend. I agree with your comments. Perhaps I should be less of a wimp and use stronger language with the appropriate 'bloody' warning.

reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

Only if the situation dictates. It's funny, but I rarely ever cuss or swear in real life, but many of my characters do. I personally think swearing denotes a sort of ignorance, or one who does not know a more adequate way of expressing themselves in one situation or another. I've stated as much to my pastor at church who reads all of my work. He hates it too, but he understands where I'm coming from. His suggestion is to write something other than horror, which I've tried and am not very good at, LOL

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

Love the illustrations
You introduce Jimmy and the setting wel
what a grim scene of Jimmy covered in blood and that mutilated cat
love the narrator's voice
you build a tone of foreboding well as the pet death toll mounts
poor Jimmy - so it turns out it was not that dismembered child's fault :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

Nope, it was Daddy Dearest all along, Brooke. He's not done either, I'm afraid. Not by a long shot!

Thanks so much for taking time out to read and review the story for me. I appreciate it. :}

Comment from Cajungirl

Exceptional

I must say chills ran down my spine with this story. Poor old Jimmy, what a way to find out he was not the killer after all. What horrific Christmas gifts left my Devil Clause. Superb story. Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

Thanks very much for your comments about what worked for you in the story, Cajungirl, and for the exceptional rating as well.

I really appreciate your support of what it is I try to do here on FanStory. Give the reader the most bang for their time, and entertain them while doing so.

Thanks again, my friend. Much obliged! :}

reply by Cajungirl on 17-Oct-2014

your wonderful work does exactly that

Comment from mfowler

Excellent

You gave Johnny the aura of Jungle Jim, but killed him off (Johnny Weismuller reference). You suspected him of murders foul, just cos he was a gruesome little sot. Yet it was old Da, the whole time. I love the voice in this with its hokum styled storytelling, often with hyperbolic imagery to describe responses. The horror is palpable and the Santa Claus massacres a great horror narrative device. Excellent response to the prompt and presented with all the usual panache of a dk special.

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

Hah, thank you very much, mark. I do appreciate that. I am really happy that you liked the story, and appreciate you taking the time to read and review it for me.

Thanks again, my friend, and have a super weekend. :}

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Well my old friend, you certainly know how to put the gore into the christmas festivities don't you!
This is a well written and wonderful tale for this competition and I sincerely wish you all the best in the contest.

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

Thank you, Eric, very much. I tried to make it as festive as possible, within the contests guidelines, of course. Hey, I did have a Christmas tree, a Satan Claws, and some shiny packages all wrapped up pretty-like for Christmas. LOL...

Thanks again for taking the time out to review the story for me. I really appreciate it. :}

reply by Eric1 on 17-Oct-2014

You are most welcome my friend, but don't be expecting an invite to Christmas lunch lol

reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

Are you sure, Eric. I make a killer blood pudding, heh-heh... :D

reply by Eric1 on 18-Oct-2014

No Honest Dean, i'm ok with apple pie! lol

reply by the author on 18-Oct-2014

:}

Comment from CALLAHANMR

Exceptional

Okay, I'm grossed out, maybe not scared as required, but grossed out all the same. Now I'll bet the narator was scared enough for both of us. Kinda wish he'd been wrong about Jimmy Gusswiler. If he had, I might have been able to eat dinner.

I noted only one small nit: The house was [as] dark, quiet as a tomb. {I suggest that you delete the first 'as' for better flow.}

I am impressed with your powerful mental imagery.

Roger

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

Got it, Robert, and thanks so much for catching that nit for me. I truly appreciate it, as well as your exceptional comments and rating, my friend. I'm very pleased that you enjoyed the story. :)

Comment from ProjectBluebook

Excellent

Ironic. You stopped on 999 -- yes, I did take notice. That is Lucifer's number -- of the Beast! A lot of chilling details. Seems... a lot of people are losing their heads these dark days. I like the note. Don't where you found that note. Makes it authentic and real. Who is that Santa Klaus killer? Was not Jimmy. Like the butcher knife jabbed into Jimmy boy's chest with the note. You pay extra good attention to details. They preached pay attention to details in the service. This is bone chilling and has a good plot to work with. I don't knit pick with little commas, i let the hard core reviewers do their job. i pay attention to the intangible traits everyone doesn't have. This is your domain. You are a wizard at horror. You enter another world as you engage yourself into horror and crime stories that bring goose bumps to your skin. This took time. I wish I had a six to give you -- it's a virtual six, all I have. But this is a six! I wish you good fortunes in the contest. There are still -- heads to be taken! I believe, you got three heads to decapitate before your reap your spoils. Outstanding story! Spook-a-doo

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

Hah-ha, thanks a bunch, Spook-a-doo, and your virtual sixer is just fine, my friend. I am just glad that you enjoyed the story and felt it was entertaining. If it gave you chills and goosebumps, then that is a welcomed bonus, and I appreciate that far more than I do six star ratings.

Thanks again for your very encouraging review. It is greatly appreciated. :}

reply by ProjectBluebook on 17-Oct-2014

Anytime SPOOKY. So tell me -- where will you put me and Mikey's head? Lol!

reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

They will be proudly and prominently displayed on my mantle, Spook-a-Doo. If, in fact, you should happen to lose them, LOL... :D

reply by ProjectBluebook on 17-Oct-2014

Hey... pickle them in that gook they use in Biology class. They can be your trophies. Haha.

reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

Formaldehyde. Yeah, I think I still have enough of it left over from the last couple of heads I mounted, heh-heh...

reply by ProjectBluebook on 17-Oct-2014

Better have enough. Mikey has a big skull. Lol!